Couple finances: How do you do it?

seven-day-weekend

What if one of you was permanently unable to work?

ninky_2

ET1976 wrote: »

In our case, the one who still had the income would put extra into the joint account to pay the bills until the other was able to contribute again (we are both individually able to cover all basic living costs for both of us if necessary).

There would be considerable onus on the one without income to get earning again though! If I lost my job I would take any temp work I could get and work night shifts at Tesco (or something) as well in order to keep my contributions to the household going, and OH has the same attitude.

i supported my husband financially for a long time before he finally got permanent work. if i was out of work he would do the same - although probably harder as his earning potential is less.

i think though that i had to be careful not to make it too cushy for him just to be supported as whether intentional or not it does reduce the motivation to find work. i think i'd be the same if it was the other way around. of course, some people might be happy to support a partner indefinitely whilst they made little effort to find work. however, that would drive me mad.

ET1976

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

What if one of you was permanently unable to work?

As I say, we are both individually able to support both of us (quite comfortably) if necessary. In the case of involuntary inability to work obviously we wouldn't have the hard-nosed attitude I described above!

Same as if we were to have (had) kids - the dynamics of the situation would change.

seven-day-weekend

Right I understand now - I had visions of one member of the couple holding their hands out to the partner who couldn't work demanding 'their' share of the mortgage!

mouche

poppysarah wrote: »

If you're married then should you need separate pleasure funds?

I think, yes, especially if one of you is more of a spendthrift than the other. In my case OH is the one who likes to spend and rather than me grumbling about what he spends on, it’s better if he has his own money. But the general principle is it’s all our money – just that some of it is his to spend as he likes.

Also, I think it’s nice for couples to have some ‘secret’ money – I have full access into my husband’s online banking and being nosy, I often know before he ‘surprises’ me what he’s giving me for my birthday (and exactly how much it cost!). Not very romantic!

goldengirl28

i look after the main family bank account and my hubby transfers money into it each month. i earn about 50% more than hubby so we have agreed what each person contributes (including savings)

the main account pays for food, bill, mortgage etc...there is also a standing order to our savings account

i also have my own account, that the rest of my wage goes into (and savings account)

Hubby uses the money left from his wage on what ever he wants, if we need to save up for something we talk and agree how we are going to do it.

its not "secret" money, and i don't monitor what he is buy as i trust him to buy what he needs.

We regulalry talk about our plans for the next 6mths etc so we know when we need to pool more together, like we are going with the deposit, i'm saving 1000 extra a mth and he is saving 400.........that way we both contribute, but still have some spare cash to spend on what ever!

PS; kids stuffs comes out of family bank account, we budget an amount a month

birduk

Intergalactic_Floozie wrote: »

We've got a join bank account (Natwest) which both wages, tax credits and child benefits are paid into.

Out of this account comes all the direct debit payments and debts.

I then transfer some 'pocket money' into a linked savings account with a solo debit card and this is DH's account that he has to make last a month.

I then transfer whatever is leftover into another current account (HSBC). This money pays for housekeeping, bus fare, kids activities and anything else. I also take my own personal spends out of this account but I don't have a set amount to spend.

I need to have DH having a separate account because he is useless with money and I know if he had access to extra money he would just take it if he needed it without thinking of the consequences (ie direct debits bouncing, not enough to pay for groceries etc). We very rarely argue and when we do it is about money so doing it this way limits the arguments.

We aren't married yet, but I think we will have to go this way as well! OH is useless with money. He would get paid and spend it the next day if he could. He has no idea that it has to last a month! But the good news is that at least he has no debt.

I do earn considerably more than he does, BUT I was poor for a long time before we got together and scrimped and saved to get where I am now (lots of education!), whilst he was earning a lot more and living with his ex. So he feels that he doesn't want to take my money off me and I feel the same! :rotfl:Hence, we contribute equally to the bills account and I am saving for our house deposit!

kunekune

OH's reaction to the £2.50 transfer: "what kind of marriage is that?"

We have a joint current account. We are both paid into the account and everything comes out of it. At the moment, I earn nearly twice what OH earns, but there have been other times when he has earned a lot more than me. We have never distinguished between 'mine', 'yours' and 'ours'. It is all ours.

The only possible exception is (a) when his mum sends me a birthday present, or (b) the money I get from my second and third jobs. With that, I have more say in how it's spent, but not entirely, because after all it is OH looking after the kids for endless weekends that makes it possible to earn the extra money in the first place.

We are a partnership. I see us as holding all our assets in trust for us as a partnership.

wymondham

One account only - it's the only way, otherwise you still have 'yours and mine'...... If you don't trust each other to do this then you have bigger problems to worry about...

seven-day-weekend

As regards the couple with the £2.50 transfer, it is quite true that she had to pay it him back. But in their defence, they did not get married until she was 60 and he was 58, neither of them had been married or even lived with anyone before, I think they had both got very set in their ways. He told her before they married that he would not be able to 'keep' her, so they have just always 'kept' themselves, just like they did when they were single, only they live together in his mortgage-free house.

I don't know what he lives on,(I think he is an electrician) but she has a State Pension, an occupational Pension and still works part-time in Morrisons.