Couple finances: How do you do it?

miniemma

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I was once in the bank with a friend of mine and she was transferring £2.50 into her husband's bank as he had paid for something of hers on his card.:eek:

Up to them I know, but there is no way I could be doing with that.

I too know married couples who 'lend' each other money. I really don't like hearing them saying "You owe me ££ for that"

ninky_2

we have seperate accounts. a big reason for this is due to the fact my OH had debt when i met him and was absolutely hopeless at managing money so i was wary of relinquishing control over the finances - in effect my greater earning power would have given him access to more debt and i didn't want to risk this.

i think the ideal would be for everything to be shared financially. but life isn't always that straightforward.

missile

Manual_Reversion wrote: »

My experience of people at work is that generally they have joint accounts, and each have separate accounts for their own 'pleasures'. These 'personal' accounts are often secret from their other halves.

What do you do?

In my experience, many couples argue over money.

I would not like to think my OH was discussing our financial arrangements with work colleagues

What suits you may not suit others. :A

jsh99

Call me bitter and twisted but I will never have a joint account again.

I did just the once - first time married and OH ran up huge debts on the account. When we divorced I was left with half of them becasue it was a joint account!! Took me years to pay it off as I was only 21 at the time.

So since getting re married (it took 17 years to get over the first one!!) we have seperate accounts which our salareis go into. I added up all the household bills and divided by 2 - so new OH transfers half less an amount that he buys the food shopping with. Also less mortgage as that's in my name as it was already my house.

Wobblydeb

poppysarah wrote: »

If you're married then should you need separate pleasure funds?

I would say yes. What happens if I decide to spend £300 out of it on a new handbag, and OH had expected there to be enough funds for a new X-Box but was left with £50?

Separate pleasure funds allow you to budget your own discretionary spends without the need to check with your other half, or make sure you each get a fair share. You can choose to save up for a big spend without having to negotiate that the other person goes without stuff in the meantime.

Edited to add: Shared pleasures (holidays etc) come out of the shared funds

ninky_2

jsh99 wrote: »

Call me bitter and twisted but I will never have a joint account again.

I did just the once - first time married and OH ran up huge debts on the account. When we divorced I was left with half of them becasue it was a joint account!! Took me years to pay it off as I was only 21 at the time.

So since getting re married (it took 17 years to get over the first one!!) we have seperate accounts which our salareis go into. I added up all the household bills and divided by 2 - so new OH transfers half less an amount that he buys the food shopping with. Also less mortgage as that's in my name as it was already my house.

i think part of my need to control the finances is due to being 'bitter and twisted'. having been screwed over by two partners i completely trusted in the past (not so much financially but in every other way) i no longer am willing to be so vulnerable. the sad thing is i think my current husband is actually totally reliable in ways the others weren't. but i'd rather know that i have a safety net of sorts.

LandyAndy

Wobblydeb wrote: »

I would say yes. What happens if I decide to spend £300 out of it on a new handbag, and OH had expected there to be enough funds for a new X-Box but was left with £50?

Separate pleasure funds allow you to budget your own discretionary spends without the need to check with your other half, or make sure you each get a fair share. You can choose to save up for a big spend without having to negotiate that the other person goes without stuff in the meantime.

Edited to add: Shared pleasures (holidays etc) come out of the shared funds

Absolutely agree. This is precisely why we do it.

seven-day-weekend

Pleasure Funds:

Neither myself nor my husband would dream of spending more than about £30 from our savings without consulting the other one; and even if we spent £30 without consulting them first we would tell them as soon as we could.

ALL our money is 'ours' even though we have separate accounts for savings as it is more tax-efficient.

We are retired now but have been like this throughout our married life.

I could no sooner spend £300 on something for me without consulting him first than fly to the moon. He feels the same.

LandyAndy

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Pleasure Funds:

Neither myself nor my husband would dream of spending more than about £30 from our savings without consulting the other one; and even if we spent £30 without consulting them first we would tell them as soon as we could.

ALL our money is 'ours' even though we have separate accounts for savings as it is more tax-efficient.

We are retired now but have been like this throughout our married life.

I could no sooner spend £300 on something for me without consulting him first than fly to the moon. He feels the same.

But that is to misunderstand the point of 'pleasure funds'.

We agree that we can each have say £200 per month to do with as we will. It's not doing it without consulting. It's doing it having consulted and agreed in advance what is the amount we don't want to know any more about.

seven-day-weekend

Ah right, I understand now. Thanks for explaining.

In that case, my answer is, we negotiate this as and when necessary. We don't actually have an money allocated, but it doesn't mean some can't be found.

When we were at work we would have an amount allocated for weekly expenses, but it was never more than about a tenner each.

So no, we don't actually have a pleasure fund - we allocate as and when necessary.