School making constant demands for time and money?

gingin_2

I am going to have a rant and am interested to know what other people honestly think and whether anyone has any similar experiences.

My son goes to a nice little primary school, we are very happy with it and so is he. BUT!!!! I am finding the requests that the school keep making are really making me frustrated and feel very guilty.

Firstly I am more than happy to cheer my son on at sports day, watch his class assemblies proudly, bake cakes for the cake stall and happily attend and contribute time and effort to the school fairs but the list of events and requests for time and money seems to have gone to ridiculous levels and it is not just myself at the school who feels this.

Final straw this morning is when I read a letter from the head asking for a cheque donation for a teacher who has never even taught my son to contribute towards a leaving present. How much do they want us to give, what are they planning on buying her? A second home in the sun (this is a 200 pupil school)? What is wrong with slipping 50p to the class teacher to put towards it if you feel like it but a CHEQUE??? Again I will happily get my son to make his own teacher a card at the end of term and find a small gift for her and the teaching assistant and I already made a donation to the student teacher who was here for 6 weeks a couple of weeks ago as was requested (she received designer toiletries and a trip to a day spa).

In the last week alone there were 3 events that parents were asked to attend and another event where parental help was required plus the school fete at the weekend. We have had a letter home asking if my son wants to join French club (for which we have to pay), have music lessons (for which we have to pay) there have also been 2 school trips this term which again had to be paid for. Every letter I send back always has the box ticked "no I cannot help with this event" because I have another small child who is not in school and a small business to run. I swear next prize giving I attend gingin will win the award for the "parent who has ticked the wrong box the most times".

We have to collect sponsorship for this and sponsorship for that, make fancy dress costumes for them to wear for an event and then pay money for them wearing them too, there has been world book day, Comic relief, Children in need, Wrong trousers day, sport relief, jumpathons, swimathons, science week, art week the list is endless and exhaustive. We are a giving family both with time and money (what we can afford) but I feel like this has all got out of hand especially when the children who have collected the most money for events win a prize or get to stand up in assemblies with a special mention for bringing in the most dosh, what has happened to every little counts?

The teachers are great ( I know lots of teachers are on this board and please this is not a dig at you, more the "powers that be" above), the parents are lovely. The school has brand new play equipment (provided by the pta fundraisers), interactive whiteboards (provided by pta fundraisers), every classroom is having a makeover this summer (provided by pta fundraisers). When I was at school we had a concrete playgroud and wooden desks and managed just fine.

There is so much more that it would take forever to write down but does anyone else have similar?

Rant over

livinginhope

Hear,Hear, :beer:
Thank god someone else feels the same as me,they don't go to the same school do they?
My kids school now wants money for the school trips in one go at the beginning of the school year!
If you receive benefits you are excluded and they put the price up so that the kids with working parents end up paying for the ones who don't.
We have a small income,it's enough to live on,but we have serious 107k debt,we are finding life a struggle,nobody knows about this debt (other than you guys) and all my friends think I'm tight!
My kids school had an arts week,all the kids painted a picture,the school then sold them at 6 pounds each :eek: ,I felt pressured to buy them,but TBH,he has done better paintings and could have done one for free at home.
Regarding time,I know I don't work at the moment,but due to illness I haven't got the energy,I don't see why I should have to explain that I simply cannot help every time another event is going on.
When I was at school I think we had one trip a year if we were lucky,blackboard and chairs with legs all different lengths so you fell off :rotfl: we still learned all we were there for.
I think the problem now is parents will give money to save face,schools know this and the school can only win

Mercenary

I hear you!
Every time I receive a letter from the school now I hesitate before reading it.
Last year DD's year group had a 3-day trip to France planned so as to bring home various historical points about the Normandy battlefields for GCSE's. All well and good, but then they tacked on a day at Disneyland Paris at the end. That doubled the cost...and for what? A tacky theme park?
We felt forced into saying yes to the trip as otherwise we weren't going to be perceived as doing our best to support DD for her exams. Talk about blackmail! :mad:

The biggest one for me,though, was a while ago when we were asked to pay towards the necessary textbooks for our children to be taught from, as the school only had enough for one in three kids at the time. Where was the money we pay in taxes and rates for these fundamental items?

And what's with all this new idea of buying a gift for the teacher at the end of term ? They must end up with a load of cr*p .

bluenose1

Hi,
know were you are coming from.
If it was a teacher who has never taught my son I would not give to the collection. Got a cheek asking for a cheque. Have had several letters asking if want to donate to teachers retiring (4 retire this year.) Will give small amount to those who have taught my children and a card.
I have 3 boys and work so can't volunteer for anything. I always put on slip that I can't help due to work committments or cos of youngest child. I am sure they understand.

Our school doesn't reward those who collect the most. I think I would be writing to complain if they did.

Quote - Firstly I am more than happy to cheer my son on at sports day, watch his class assemblies proudly, bake cakes for the cake stall and happily attend and contribute time and effort to the school fairs but the list of events and requests for time and money seems to have gone to ridiculous levels and it is not just myself at the school who feels this.- Quote.

I think what you are doing is very supportive of the school. I am sure a lot of teachers are thankful for having parents like you.
Regards
Anne

gingin_2

Thanks for the responses. I am relieved I am not the only one :T

littlemissfrugal

sounds familiar are u in NG5

gooismeid

Can I just make a plea for people not to take this kind of thing so personally? Regarding letters sent home from school, the poor school secretary usually has to photocopy a whole bunch of them and then gives one to EVERY pupil, regardless of whether it applies or not, because it's easier and quicker than sorting out which one goes where. So if you don't think the note is relevant to you (re: cheque donations), you can happily ignore it. With regard to the organisation of expensive school trips, I suggest you make a point of raising this at the PTA meetings. That is, after all, what the PTA should be for. If enough parents think the school is taking the wrong line on school trips, then they must change. For my sins I'm chair of my primary school PTA (mother of two and full-time worker as well) and I'm astonished at the apathy of some parents who are perfectly prepared to slag off everyone and everything at the school by gossiping in the playground, but are not prepared to open their mouths and say something at PTA or even to write to the school outlining their objections to things. Apologies to OP if I sound like I'm attacking you - I know how important it is to blow off steam occasionally, which is exactly what you've done here. Now try turning that into something positive and voicing your opinion to the school. You never know, they might never have thought about the potential damage done to little minds when the one bringing in the most donations gets a prize. And I agree with you totally on that one - if my school started that, I'd have a thing or two to say to the head teacher, I can tell you.

hobo28

i think a lot of schools are like this. My last school was like a mini business always, asking for money.

Its not as bad at the new school but then the school seems worse overall so with hindsight, maybe I'd prefer a school who asks for money and has an active interest in the kids and push them as hard as they can rather than now where the teachers seem to just plod along, happy to be average.

jockettuk

gosh my primary school sounds so dull compared to yours and we all think they asking to much..

we have a parent form goes out seems like once every two years asking all sorts of questions about the school and you can answer honestly, they collate it and we get to see the results, one is that to many contributions are asked and that they dont give you enough time to save up.. Our school now has a banking system were you can take in money for trips even ones that havnt been anounced yet lol.

next year they are going to announce all major trips at the beginning of the year so parents know what is coming up.

Parents on benefits were given free school trips untill they started taking the mickey abt it so our school now says it the trip under a fiver and its not paid for they child doesnt go, but it over a fiver the school is flexabl.. Im a single parent on benefits but i dont smoke or drink etc and i dont buy all the best of gear standing outside the school gates bragging abt what ive bought then saying cant afford little jimmy to go on the school trip.. the head aint stupid he hears this as well..

Our head has listened and taken on board comments so have the pta or as they here "the friends of " and the pts pays for coaches to keep the cost down on trips..


If i was you i would print out your rant and send it into the school let them know how your feeling.

Our school send out letters saying so and so is retiring and if you wish to contribute you can do so in x amount of ways they would never ask for a chq



oh and dd starts secondary school in sept and we might need to remorgage to keep up with everything there lol

code-a-holic

My eldest son is starting Primary school in September - has been doing half days this term. Have already sent in a bit of money. Next thursday is £2 for non uniform day.....he only does a half day surely we should have it half price!!!
On the subject of those that ask seem to be better schools.... This schools motto is 'only the best!' so maybe i should start investing to fund school life!!! I used to go to this school - same teachers there now, but the prices of events have gone up a lot. It has been over 10 years i suppose and inflation effects school sports days too!

Scarlett1

there is another thread which I contributed on reagarding this, I find it frustrating aswell with the amount of requests for money :rolleyes:

£1 here and £1 there for this that and the other event, I handed £5 over to a mum as a donation for an end of term leaving present for DD's teacher last week aswell

I have also volunteered to be a fruit washer for the kids fruit once a week in the school so now I wont feel guilty when I dont donate so much money in the forthcoming years