Newbie requires help!

missmilkwood

Thanks both, extremely helpful. :T

callywally

I have not got any advice, but I seem to be in a simalar situation to you and it helps to know others are going through the same thing. I am just trying o make the decision and think about raising the fees.
Good luck with it all.

missmilkwood

Cally, I now wish I had made the decision 10 mths ago. I did nothing and a) just hoped it would all disappear by magic and b) bought lots of lottery tickets :rotfl:

But now I really have no other option, I'm at the point now where I don't care about the stigma, afterall, there's a recession on (this past few mths my rent/bills/tax/debt interest have all gotten higher but I get no payrises and I've lost my bonus - don't get me wrong though, I am grateful to have a job in this market.) Plus I refuse to complain since there are people on these boards who have lost businesses/jobs/houses/cars/health. As stressful and worrying as it has been (I was given anti-depressants at one point), there are so many people who have lost so much more. I don't mind losing a bit of dignity (I think some people I know will judgmental toward me.) But it doesnt matter - I did try to help myself for a whole year, I sacrificed nights out/holiday/buying things for myself (my luxuries have been cheap wine and dvd's for a year!). Unfortunately nothing changed, I'm not a spendaholic, I just can't cope with the amount of debt I have. I dont even remember the last time I used my 2 credit cards.

We'll keep eachother posted - I'll probably be going through it before you so you can see how it goes for me first. :beer:

Classylady2010_2

I dont think anyone can judge you more harshly than you judge yourself, but I also worried about what people would think.

good luck and all I can say is that when I was declared br I actually slept for the first time in ages as I was like a lot of people, in despair most of the time.
I wish Id found this forum months ago it helps so much talking to people who know exactly what you are going through.
x

missmilkwood wrote: »

Cally, I now wish I had made the decision 10 mths ago. I did nothing and a) just hoped it would all disappear by magic and b) bought lots of lottery tickets :rotfl:

But now I really have no other option, I'm at the point now where I don't care about the stigma, afterall, there's a recession on (this past few mths my rent/bills/tax/debt interest have all gotten higher but I get no payrises and I've lost my bonus - don't get me wrong though, I am grateful to have a job in this market.) Plus I refuse to complain since there are people on these boards who have lost businesses/jobs/houses/cars/health. As stressful and worrying as it has been (I was given anti-depressants at one point), there are so many people who have lost so much more. I don't mind losing a bit of dignity (I think some people I know will judgmental toward me.) But it doesnt matter - I did try to help myself for a whole year, I sacrificed nights out/holiday/buying things for myself (my luxuries have been cheap wine and dvd's for a year!). Unfortunately nothing changed, I'm not a spendaholic, I just can't cope with the amount of debt I have. I dont even remember the last time I used my 2 credit cards.

We'll keep eachother posted - I'll probably be going through it before you so you can see how it goes for me first. :beer:

RichesToRags

Classylady2010 wrote: »

I dont think anyone can judge you more harshly than you judge yourself

I have to say that was certainly true for me and many other people I know of.

I opened my Co-op account on the phone, was accepted there and then and received my account details and card in about a week. I think it depends if they can check your identity and address straight away, i.e if you are on the electoral register or not.

I did this about a month before BR in order to change my over DDs etc. OR had no interest in it and it was never frozen.

josie836

Hi and welcome
Please do not worry about any stigma. You only need to tell those people you trust and know will understand why you are doing this. No one else need know Who looks in the London Gazette and on the Insolvency Register anyway?
Do what you have to do to get your life back. You do not have bankrupt tattooed on your forehead so if you don't tell them people are not going to know.
i did tyhe deed in December and only told as few trusted friends and some of my family who have all been great. The rest of my family do not know because I know they would judge me and I am not prepared to let that happen.
You are taking control of your life now so do not worry about the rest of the world they can think what they like it doesn't matter, as long as you know you are doing the right thing that is all that matters.
I have no regrets and there are even times now when I forget I am a bankrupt, the relief from all that worry and upset is worth the effort.

missmilkwood

Great, thanks all So reassuring. To be honest, the minute I made my mind up I felt better. OT - Cahoot has called me 3 times today already, so thats now 15 calls (incl on eve's and weekends) since 23 January (two and a half weeks) - for one outstanding loan payment of £188!!! Unbelievable! What are they gonna be like when this months bounces too?! Should I answer and tell them I am going bankrupt? God help me when Santander, Barclaycard and Barclays start chasing me....!!!!

dela_2

Missmilkwood
Thank you so much for posting here. I have got so much encouragement from your posts and everybody's replies.

My partner and I went to meet up with an advisor at our local debt advice centre last night an it was the first time the BR was mentioned and considered. Both of us felt a weight lifted as we had both felt totally trapped. We are now on the verge of making the decision to proceed.

Thanks again

nuttyp

I was worried about the 'bit' in the paper saying i had declared myself BR. I did mine 1st and didnt want ANYONE in my OH family knowing. They wouldnt/couldnt understand and the relationship is very strained at best.

As i had teenage girls i requested it was ommited from the paper for my childrens sake. Never did see it in our local rag!!!!

Oh went BR the following year, and its gpne by so quick. It nice now, we done have letters everyday and the phone only rings occasionally now.

The best of luck to everyone with their BR.

missmilkwood

Your welcome Dela, it's def nice to talk to people in the same boat and hear their experiences. None of my friends have made this decision, even though some are far worse in debt than me (and STILL spending!) From what I see, we all come to the conclusion different ways and for many different reasons, but we're all in the same boat in the end. Even my mother is urging me to go bankrupt and make a new start. I don't care about having no credit - I was managing my accounts brilliantly before getting tempted with numerous loans/credit cards a few years ago. I'd be happy just to be able to say 'I dont really have much, but I dont really owe much either'. Fingers crossed. x