help im love love with my friend

Sunshine12

I would be inclined to try and not see him for a while to figure out if you really want to be with your current OH or not. As someone else said you should only leave him if you dont want to be with him in any case, not because of feelings for someone else.

Friendships can change dramatically when you take the next step and it might not be what you think it will. Ive seen this situation before and what was a fantastic friendship turned sour when a relationship started. You may think that he is the best thing since sliced bread but once you start sleeping with him and the relationship changes to more than friendship, it might not turn out to be as great as you think it will. Good luck.

euronorris

Oh, and please don't forget that your 'friend' might seem more appealing right now simply because it is new, exciting and, for want of a better word, 'naughty'. Whereas, if you've been with your OH for a long time, it might seem boring in comparison. ie, there isn't that new and excited feeling with him anymore.

This could also be clouding your judgement quite a bit.

This is why should consider how you would feel if you left your OH and were single. Would you still be happy with your decision? Or would you regret it. Remove the new guy from the equation and concentrate solely on how happy you are in your current relationship.

Good luck.

mumslave

You love the guy or are infatuated with him....you both have partners, you know you two are on the verge of an affair, at some stage. So dont hurt people, dont lose your own dignity, either decide whether you want to make a go of it and tell respective partners its over, or leave each other well alone.

Mupette

The grass isnt always greener on the other side.

do the decent thing..

1. break up with current partner, you obviously don't love them.
2. don't move on with the friend, they are in a relationship too
3. if friend become a free agent again fine shag em
4. be very aware the friend probably wants you as your are forbidden fruit, and the minute you become available likely he will go off you
5. then again in may all work out fine, but don't do the dirty on the current partner, have some dignity and respect for them.
6. use contraception if you gonna do the deed, wouldn't want to see another post by you

pregnant by new bloke and he doesn't want me.



Geeze what lives do we lead when we need to rely on a forum to live our lives.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I had a similar situation but it was my OH who got friendly with a work colleague (who in turn proved to be a complete pyscho!)

OH admitted he kissed her - I threw him out. Girl had balls to contact me and say it was all OH and she never led him on (oh yeah? strange how the kiss happened in YOUR house then isnt it!) so we argued (a little bit lol)

In the end, I gave OH space, we worked out our problems and got back together, Girl started causing problems for OH at work and got sacked (not just for that mind) but me and OH have never been the same since - i constantly throw it at him in an arguement (not healthy) and theres times i wish i never took him back

if your SURE you want to be with this new person - Then get rid of the OH - dont lead on, it isnt nice

however - new person might not be as great as you think "grass, grenner - not always!"

take care x

Gingham_Ribbon

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Once more, the old Chinese proverb springs to mind.

You can't stop the birds landing on your head, but you can stop them nesting there.

If you don't want to end your current relationship, stop letting this one take up so much time and emotional energy. Look for another job (I realise that might take a while). Stop phoning each other. Stop going shopping together. And stop kidding yourself that you haven't done anything until you've had sex - before you know it you'll be doing a Bill Clinton on us.

Excellent advice.

You're not friends and it sounds like you never will be. So your choices are straightforward imo. If you continue to kid yourselves that what you're doing is okay, more than one person is going to get very hurt.

Sunshine12

Mupette wrote: »

Geeze what lives do we lead when we need to rely on a forum to live our lives.

I think the OP probably just wanted some advice/opinions - after all, thats what a forum is for.

Would very much doubt anyone lives their lives by it - whether it be those asking for advice or those replying.

euronorris

Sunshine12 wrote: »

I think the OP probably just wanted some advice/opinions - after all, thats what a forum is for.

Would very much doubt anyone lives their lives by it - whether it be those asking for advice or those replying.

And, tbh, I've had more than a few people ask me for my opinion on a situation like this, and not one of them has acted on it.

Often, they aren't looking for advice, but for someone to validate what they want to do or are about to do. So, the advice given above is often ignored as it doesn't 'fit' with what they want. Not saying the OP will do the same here, just going by my experience.

Unfortunately, some people just have to learn the hard way.

Pollycat

You've mentioned your OH and the impact that taking this further might have on him - but what about your children?
Quite from the OP dated 6/1/2010:

my kdis got sent a text oday school was open, then 1.30 i got a text saying it was shutting due to show, it may be open tomorrow depending on the snow. my partner came early from work too, i was suppose to go to croydon today, all the trains are delayed didnt, wanna leave my area in case i had to get the kids early

Just take a read of the posts on here (I can supply you with some links should you wish) from women who've found out their OH's have been cheating on them and the devastation that this has caused.

Do you really want to be the 'Other Woman'?

Indie_Kid

How do you know that he won't do the same if he does end up with you?