A deep breath...

dib-dab

Well done for telling your hubby to be, I am glad he was so lovely about it all. I feel bad enough about our debts even knowing that me and my husband are in it together so can't imagine how you were feeling dealing with it all on your own you poor thing! At least you can be completely upfront with everything now and he is there to encourage and support you whilst you get out of debt.

niccatw

Yay S2T! Well done you! :j Now you both can take a deep breath and start making a dent in it! Don't worry, there's plenty of us here in it for the haul to cry and laugh with you, encourage and nudge you, and be encouraged and nudged, in the right direction!

Definitely recommend subscribing to, or starting up your own, diary to help keep you focused.

It can be an emotional roller-coaster ride, but we're all on it together (sreaming in terror but simultaneously excited to have plucked up the courage to jump aboard)!

Radarjet

I fully concur with the poster who was crossing their fingers as they scrolled down each post - Me too and I could feel the relief spreading through as I read how you had gone on.


Good on you both - you for posting and then telling him and a big thumbs up for his great response.

It's probably not always going to be a smooth run, but you may as well test out the 'for richer or poorer' theory early on ...

Good luck

coffeemonster*123

Well done S2T.
It will be so much easier to sort it out together. With a little help & advise from the good people on here you can now look forward to getting debt free & to your wedding...... with no secrets!

Denis_UK

May I be the first to

(1) commend S2Cs partners reaction to her revelation

(2) commend S2Cs courage in revealing the truth

Together as a team you will sort it.

On your own you were losing it.

Good luck

yellowduck_2

Well done to you and well done to him, good luck to you both.

Scared2tell

To all, thank you again for your posts, almost set me off again crying!

For anyone 'lurking' as I was, please do post on here, it is an overwhelming feeling you get from the support and advice of people on these forums. You're not judged and all of a sudden you don't feel alone. Please do not do what I did and leave it for a long time, if I had brought this up years ago when the debts started to spiral I would probably be out of this situation now. Please, I urge you to post. Yes, we've either been stupid and spent way beyond our means or been affected by uncontrollable circumstances. I was stupid, credit was too easy and I thought I'd be able to pay it back - how wrong was I? Believe me I know how hard it is to be denial and please don't think I'm preaching because I only managed to confront it last night. Not only do i regrest spending the money but the times I spent lying awake at night trying to think how to get out of the mess or hiding bank statements from my fiance. I should have done it sooner.

I do not think its going to be easy and hell I'm going to have to knuckle down a lot but I feel like I can whether its five years on ten years before I'm there, I'm still in a better place than I was on Sunday (mentally not monetary!), there is a dim light out there. Or as my fiance said, you may not be able to see the light, but at least you can see the tunnel. And its true, it will take a while but at least I will be in the tunnel!

So thank you all, I would have bottled it last night had I not had the encouragement from this forum.

Snowdonlily

Hi.........I'm so glad you told him. I was the same, and if anyone had told me how much better I would feel for coming clean, I would never have believed them. After the initial shock (not speaking for a few days), my DH was also really supportive.

Good Luck with clearing it all........we can do it x

PurpleJay

Good luck! You will do it together You did have me in tears lol!

Post your SOA and you will get loads of advice - this site and the support from everyone here is brilliant!

littlesmurf

sooooooo brave. i'm still not brave, although i have sorted the dmp on my own. i have paid off £1535, in 8 months so am chipping away. I have had so many messages and I know everyone is right in saying i need to tell him and i really want to, but i still am living with what can he do to help ? why make him as unhappy as me ? so i plod on.
well done scared to tell xx