Just want to see the kids .......please help

pinkjaney

My partner has 4 kids with his ex wife who he split up with over 2 years ago when they got divorced the only contact she would offer was a contact centre for 2 hours every other week but we live 130 miles away and the opening times where 10 -12noon he found this to upsetting so this did not happen. He had contact with his eldest daughter last year but then she sent vile emails and her birthday card back full of abuse so all contact was broken in december of last year contact started again from the request of the ex.
He saw the children at her house and i was invited as well, she asked him for help with a tv aerial and we went again in January this time my daughter went as well and everything was going fine until my partner asked to speak to his ex with regards regular contact with the kids and the possibilty of using the disabled access car she has (one of the kids is both physically and mentally disabled). All he wanted was when the kids where with us use of her car (she has a new partner who has a car so it was not like she was being left with no transport).

The ex got very angry and demanded he leave the house!!!!. I have now contacted her by phone and said we have discovered a mobility rental company so the car is no longer an issue but she has said that she went out of her way to allow him access and he has blown it. She will not answer his phone calls and the eldest daughter (16) will not answer her dad's texts.

My partner has always paid his child maintenance (through CSA) and all he wants is to see his kids what should he do now. He cant get legal aid and his last solicitor caost £250 every time he went to see tham and we really cant afford that cost as he pays £288 pm child maintenance.

Any help would be great

shell_542

If he joined Families Need Father's they could instruct him how to get a contact order sorted out through the legal channels and represent himself to keep the costs down. Obviously, a court couldn't make the 16 yr old see him though. It'll be her choice. But if he keeps communication channels open with her, hopefully she'll change her mind.

pinkjaney

Its the younger 3 that he really wants contact with he says the eldest one is old enough to know her own mind. Also what hurts him the most is they all call ex new partner (he used to be my partners best friend) dad.

Also as one child is disabled he does not get any help for her ie winch to get her in and out of bed etc etc but ex thinks or did we have all 4 or none at all but if eldest dont want contact that means he does not get to see any of them.......

The last thing ex wanted was for us to stay at her home and she would go stay in a hotel 9but take the car with her so we would be housebound (how bizarre is that)

pd001

pinkjaney wrote: »

My partner has 4 kids with his ex wife who he split up with over 2 years ago when they got divorced the only contact she would offer was a contact centre for 2 hours every other week but we live 130 miles away and the opening times where 10 -12noon he found this to upsetting so this did not happen. He had contact with his eldest daughter last year but then she sent vile emails and her birthday card back full of abuse so all contact was broken in december of last year contact started again from the request of the ex.
He saw the children at her house and i was invited as well, she asked him for help with a tv aerial and we went again in January this time my daughter went as well and everything was going fine until my partner asked to speak to his ex with regards regular contact with the kids and the possibilty of using the disabled access car she has (one of the kids is both physically and mentally disabled). All he wanted was when the kids where with us use of her car (she has a new partner who has a car so it was not like she was being left with no transport).

The ex got very angry and demanded he leave the house!!!!. I have now contacted her by phone and said we have discovered a mobility rental company so the car is no longer an issue but she has said that she went out of her way to allow him access and he has blown it. She will not answer his phone calls and the eldest daughter (16) will not answer her dad's texts.

My partner has always paid his child maintenance (through CSA) and all he wants is to see his kids what should he do now. He cant get legal aid and his last solicitor caost £250 every time he went to see tham and we really cant afford that cost as he pays £288 pm child maintenance.

Any help would be great

I know someone who can help you with the problem of access and i am sure he will be along sometime soon.

Speedster...this one is for you....

pinkjaney

Thanks, will wait to see if they can help

speedster

where to start!

right, firstly it seems that court is going to be unavoidable as the ex clearly has ownership issues and the rot has set in. i cant see any leeway with regard to the mobility car but if you get sorted through court then maybe a possibility of assistance after??

may be worth trying a formal letter to the ex requesting meaningful contact with the children and suggesting mediation as a means to addressing the situation. if not, then advise that you will "reluctantly" be taking the matter to court. keep a copy and send it off recorded/signed for delivery.

you'll more than likely get no response or a snotty text. fear not. court it is.

you'll need to file a c1 application (£175) which is just a basic form. no need to get too descriptive at this stage as it's just a formality.

i would suggest trying the letter first, then pop back here for help getting started on the court route.

don't be worried about court, representing yourself (LIP) is a lot easier than you would expect and there is a lot of free/cheap help available.

all ya gotta do is holler! :T

.

pinkjaney

Many thanks for the advice, will sit down tomorrow and start composing the letter.

99% sure she will ignore it as far as she is concerned there is only one way and that is her way.

As far as the car goes we dont need it and told her that but no she was not interested

Have also become a member of Families Need Fathers

Back again soon with the response

speedster

FNF is about the best thing you could do! lots of macenzie friends and a whole lot of advice there too!

pinkjaney

again thankyou, will let you know how we get on.......

pinkjaney

Just one more question if it gets to court which court do i serve the papers because i live in the Midlands and she lives in Yorkshire. So do i choose mine or her's

speedster

file in the nearest court to where the child resides.