urgent advice needed

regret70

Hello all

I have been on here a few times but really need some desperate advice. I have been incredibly stupid and don’t know what to do. Please have a go at me as it is what I deserve.

Over the last 12 months I have been suffering from a gambling addiction, due to depression. This is really hard for me to admit, I am a 25 year old female and it is completely out of character for me. I have had a good upbringing and have always been taught that gambling was bad. Anyway here I am with an awful lot of debt and no means to pay anything. I have spent all my savings and have no money to pay bills this month. My husband doesn’t know.

Basically I have got in a mess with overdrafts and loans and the banks are demanding them back.

Barclays- 2 accounts owing £1700 each and a loan of £4000. I am in a repayment plan of £250 a month

NatWest- again 2 current accounts owing a total of £4000, I am in a repayment plan of £200 a month

Car loan £4000 (I need my car for work) £145 a month

Sainsbury loan £3000 £110 a month

Alliance and Leicester loan £2500 £95 a month

Tesco loan £2000 £95 a month

Barclaycard £1400 £50 a month

Aqua card £450 £50 a month

I am now in tears writing this as I feel sick just looking at the amounts. I am able to pay for the loans each month but the over draft payments are beyond my means. I also have a mortgage and bills that I have missed for 2 months.

Does anyone have any suggestions how I can get back on track with my mortgage and bills?

Thanks

StrawberryYogurt

People will be along to help very soon, I don't have much advice as I am very new to this site still really, I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug and lots of support. Its so easy to get caught up in these things, do not beat yourself up, you are facing it, thats half the battle won.

A few years ago I got carried away a little and made myself close my account on the site, forcing myself to do that, saved me I think. Have you done that part yet? Closed all your accounts on the gambling sites? not leaving one open...?

Big, big hugs xxx

regret70

hi i have closed all my accounts and downloaded gamblock, which is the software that blocks gambling on the computer so there is no chance i can do it again! i have really frightened myself.

thanks for your hugs

savingmummy

Welcome and well done for owning up to your debt problems!! This isnt easy and is very hard when you see it ALL written down infront of you.

My 1st piece of advise is to tell your husband!! You really do need to tell him as if you don`t he may find out anyway via letter or phonecall!!
He may support you and even help out with bills etc while you pay off your debts.
Does he help towards mortgagae etc?? He needs to know they havent been paid!

My second piece of advise is are you still gambling? if so you need to get some professional help - nothing to be ashamed of at all! CUT up your credit cards and now is the time to STOP the spending!!

Post a full accurate SOA http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html here for others to advise regarding cutting down and managing your repayments.
You may be feeling very down and frightened right now but if you had some support offline ie, your hubby you would benefit from this. It will not be easy telling him and he may be very shocked, confused and maybe a little angry you kept it from him BUT i am sure as your husband he will give you the support you need right now! PLEASE don`t leave it too long you NEED to tell him asap!

Good luck x

savingmummy

regret70 wrote: »

hi i have closed all my accounts and downloaded gamblock, which is the software that blocks gambling on the computer so there is no chance i can do it again! i have really frightened myself.

thanks for your hugs

Well done;................. :T

regret70

thanks, i am not gambling anymore, i promised myself i wouldnt place a bet in 2010 and appart from one small slip up i havent.

i will tell him tonight, im guessing he suspects something anyway.
thanks for being gentle with me! i feel so pathetic!

regret70

heres my SOA

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 2
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1800
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3000
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 720
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 145
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 84
Electricity............................. 50
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 20
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 40
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 70
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 35
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 10
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 20
Emergency fund.......................... 20
Total monthly expenses.................. 1821

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 100000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 106000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 85000....(720)......0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 4000.....(145)......22
Total secured & HP debts...... 89000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
alliance and leiceste..........2500......81........0
tesco..........................2000......95........0
sainsburys.....................3000......100.......0
barclaycard....................1400......50........27.9
aqua card......................450.......50........29.9
barclay overdraft..............3400......100.......0
barclay loan...................4000......150.......0
natwest overdraft..............4000......0.........200
Total unsecured debts..........20750.....626.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,000
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,821
Available for debt repayments........... 1,179
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 626
Amount left after debt repayments....... 553
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 106,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -89,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -20,750
Net Assets.............................. -3,750
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.[/font]

regret70

that makes it look okay but i definately dont have 500 left!!

RAS

You may need to get the credit card and bank statements out and trawl through the last 3 months to find out where it is gone.

Also both start spending diaries.

regret70

i think the £500 is what my husband has, as we have a joint account for all the bills and then we have half our wages in our own accounts. i cannot ask him for this money as it is not his fault i have gotten us in this mess.

i am guessing i can manage the bills etc, but does any one have any suggestions for this months mortgage and bills?
thanks

savingmummy

regret70 wrote: »

heres my SOA

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 2 do you need 2 cars??
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1800
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3000
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 720
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 145
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 84
Electricity............................. 50 you could shop about to see if you can find cheaper on elec/gas
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 20
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 40 can you cancel contract and go payg? or if its payg cut down to £10 a mth
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25 get rid or reduce for now!!
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200 this is high for just 2!! meal plan, stick to a strict shopping list. BOGOF`s and go late in day for bargains
Clothing................................ 50 you can`t afford this!! use what you have for now
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 70 again shop around for cheaper quotes
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 35
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 10
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20 reduce this or stop, just for now buy on budget say £10 pp. limit who you buy for!
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 100 can this be reduced?
Holiday................................. 20 is this booked??
Emergency fund.......................... 20 USE THIS EMERGENCY FUND!
Total monthly expenses.................. 1821

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 100000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 106000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 85000....(720)......0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 4000.....(145)......22
Total secured & HP debts...... 89000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
alliance and leiceste..........2500......81........0
tesco..........................2000......95........0
sainsburys.....................3000......100.......0
barclaycard....................1400......50........27.9
aqua card......................450.......50........29.9
barclay overdraft..............3400......100.......0
barclay loan...................4000......150.......0
natwest overdraft..............4000......0.........200
Total unsecured debts..........20750.....626.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,000
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,821
Available for debt repayments........... 1,179
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 626
Amount left after debt repayments....... 553 YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE THIS GOES!!!! It is obviously being used on other things apart from from bills and debt so this needs to be sorted out!
Start a spending diary.
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 106,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -89,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -20,750
Net Assets.............................. -3,750
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.[/font]

Lots of room for change here!! Which is fab!
Your surplus each month is AMAZING which is a very good thing, you just need to find out where it goes and then use it on your unpaid bills/debts!
Good luck with hubby, keep us updated x