42 week pregnancy - advice!

Jo_R_2

Thank you all so much for sharing yr opinions and experiences. I haven't gone into labour yet, am 41+4 today

Agree with those who have said the midwife can make or break yr birth experience. I mentioned briefly the birth of DD1, although I didn't like the way things happened, the midwife who was there (quote on maternity notes) "after event" was a gem and really looked after me, especially with my wishes for a natural third stage. As you can imagine I was freaked out by delivering my own baby in a haze of pethidine and she really helped calm the situation.

However, I do feel that that experience as a whole, not just the actual labour and birth but the pregnancy as well, the whole thing has led me to choose home birth. I feel I will be more in control, thus needing less pain relief and can labour wherever I want in the house, plus me and OH and DD don't have to be separated - I hated OH having to leave the night DD was born when it was the most important day of our lives.

The initial post was to ask people's opinions of what I should do should this pregnancy continue to 42 weeks. Hopefully if baby continues to do well in there then I can continue until labour starts naturally; however I know I will be pressured for induction - which I really don't want if there is no need for it.

I do however realise that despite my patience as I know most women towards the end of pregnancy just want baby to come out now (LOL!), the longer we are waiting, the less time I will have with baby on my maternity leave, thus meaning potentially baby may be five months instead of six when I return to work in January.

There is also a consideration that as money is especially tight with us right now, that should the worst come to the worst, I may have to return to work earlier than that and miss even more of baby Whilst ultimately my primary concern is that of the health of my baby and myself, I obviously want to be able to spend as much time as baby as possible whilst I am off and this is looking to be a small factor in whatever decision I make.

mishkanorman

Disagree and challange what ?? I never claimed that anything i stated was medical evidence backed or that it was even correct. IT WAS BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE. That cannot be challange or disagreed with. I disagree with home births FOR ME and not once did i state that anyone here shouldn't have one, in fact I commend the OP for sticking to her guns about wanting one.

I came on here as i was induced on both my births.

What a grand welcome you all gave me, others here have voiced the same opinion yet its my posts that have been quoted, you have ganged up like a bunch of bullies. I can take someone having a different opinion, but why was it necessary to single me out ???? The very first line jayjay wrote ended in an roll eyes. How else are you supposed to take that ?

You wont agree and may well think im over reacting, but then it wasnt you that was insulted and upset to read someone treating you like an idiot.

Anniek1969

If I were you I would stick it out as long as you feel that everything is ok with the baby and not let them force you to do something you don't want. Could you be induced and still have a HB? if so I would maybe consider this. My induction was fine although it did make my labour on a whole a bit longer but the birth itself was fine. Like you I hated being seperated from my DH it's the only time we've been apart. I was only in for 2days with my first and 2nd and with my 3rd I went home the next morning. I really didn't like leaving my other daughters and couldn't wait to get home, that's one of the reasons I wanted a HB so that my other 2 could be as involved as possible and see their new baby as soon as it was born. They managed to get to the hospital and see her within about and hour and a half of her birth.

I was lucky and am a SAHM so never had to worry about going back to work but with my 2nd money was really tight and I went to work part-time when she was about 4mth and looking back now I wish I hadn't, like I said I'm lucky and can stay at home now and I can see how you want to spend as much time with the baby as you can so maybe if you just wait till you're 42wks and then look at the options, with a bit of luck you might not have to wait, it might just decide to put in an appearance in the next 3 days.

Good luck to you whatever you decide and I hope you have a great experience wherever you decide to have your baby.

Getting all broody now.

MissSunshine

I didn't have the choice of homebirth with either of my sons as it's really not encouraged in the middle east

Ds1 my waters broke naturally at 40 +4 and he was 8lbs 12. Ds2 there was still no sign at 40 +11 and thery were pushing me from 40 +7 to choose between c-section and induction. Went for induction at 40 +12 and only needed one dose, but omg the intense pain happened very quick and I couldn't cope so had an epidural, once that was in I was fine and ds2 was born 7 hours after induction with just 2 pushes and only weighted 7lbs 11!!

I know a British lady who delivered her 1st baby at 43 weeks here and the baby was fine, can't remember the weight, but was quite big. She had to have an emergency c-section and it turns out she can't give birth naturally.

So OP if you can hold out for the delivery you want if you pass 42 weeks then do, don't let them bully you into something you're not happy with. Hopefully the baby will put in an appearance before then.

bumpybecky

Mishka I'm sorry if you feel you're being ganged up on. I don't think anyone has replied to your posts with the intention of upsetting you.

I think your posting style has come across as rather confrontational however, which might explain why you've had the replies you have. I'm sorry of you think that in itself is a bullying comment, but it's my opinion and is meant as a possible explanation rather than a criticism. It's easy for written words to be misinterpretted on message boards and people can only reply based on the information given, which is rarely the whole story.

Your first words in your first post were 'I disagree with home births, I realise its a woman's choice but I think that the risks are not worth taking.'

Now to someone who is regularly challenged on my birth choices, that sounds like someone who is very anti-homebirth. You say you don't agree with homebirth. You didn't say 'they might suit some people, but they're not for me'. That would be respecting our choice to homebirth, but you give the impression that we're all mad risk takers who are wrong. If you post something like that you are likely to get posts from people defending their views.

To be honest the experience of your first birth sounds like a good arguement not to induce and to have a natural birth at home. You'll never know of course, but maybe if you'd not been induced you wouldn't have needed all the intervention. I'm glad your second birth was a more positive experience

mishkanorman

Jo_R have they tried a sweep yet ??

Didnt work for me, i ended up with severe braxton hicks for the last week, lots of shows then, ended up having waters broken. Midwife said at the time of the sweep that i was 3cm dilated and if i was on the ward she would jhave broken them there and then but couldnt as proceedure dictated they had to wait another 10 days ! I was the opposite to most people and was quite happy to be induced the sooner the better for me .

mishkanorman

bumpybecky we cross posted, wasnt ignoring you.


I posted that i disagree with home births because I do , I would never presume to tell someone thay cant or that they are wrong for doing so but i still stand by the fact that i wouldnt risk my babies life. The risks may be tiny but they are still there, perhaps no more so than in hospital but comparing two births where no medical intervention was required ie drugs etc and something went wrong the chance for a better outcome for all involved would be in hospital. Thats all I meant.

I tried to make my post not confrontational by specifically not quoting anyone, I made my opinion known and moved on. The thread was about induction and the OP had mentioned the reason for wanting to avoid one. I didnt make this about ' home birth right or wrong'

Im sorry that you have met people who would be unfair about your preferrence to birth at home, but im not one of them, however i feel that I have been treated this way as Ive been lumped into the same catagory as " i disagree and i will preach until the world agrees " im really not like that, my opinion is my own and as such I voiced it.
The programme i quoted was a whole series about home births that were planned and ended in an emergency outcome. I felt this was a good way to show why i feared a home birth, i didnt want to be persuaded otherwise as its not about facts and figures. Think of it like this, you eat a bad kebab you get put off having another, doesnt mean that all kebabs will be like this but its an irrational thought process your brain follows.

If my post had caused offence, it would have been nice to point it out and give me a chance to qualify what I had meant, instead every word i typed was picked over and be-littled.

Thankyou bumpy becky for giving me enough respect to consider that i wasnt trying to upset people, i just feel its a shame others didnt. My sentance 'I disagree with home births, I realise its a woman's choice but I think that the risks are not worth taking.'
was meant as 'every woman should have the right to choose, but me, personally, i would'nt take the risk '


There you go went into one about it and now you are all bored reading about ME !! my original post was so short as I didnt think any one would really care what i thought, next time i will make sure to fully explain myself.

mishka

pinkpie

Mishka - I for one was glad to read your opinion - I too feel home birth is not for me yet was made to feel bad throughout my recent pregnancy for this. My midwife was very pro home birth and repeatedly tried very hard to convince me as it was my 4th pregnancy and I was considered low risk.

In the event I had a heavy bleed and it was an emergency situation and I don't know if I would be here if I'd had a home birth!

As for induction, I have to say my one induction was my best experience out of 4 labours and I wouldn't hesitate to have it done again!

mrcow

Hi Mishka

Sorry I know it's off topic (Jo may be in labour in her front room as we speak, with a little luck! ) but just wanted to say for what it's worth I agree with you (just to add a little balance to the opinions on the thread (!)

Jo, just a thought, but if you are worried about money, you could always tag some annual leave onto the front or end of your maternity leave. It would make up for the couple of weeks that you've lost being "overdue".

Alternatively you could turn into an Ebayer (just before Christmas is a great time to sell stuff!) to earn some extra cash. Personally, I turned to matched betting :eek: (but I used to get a little freaked out when my four year old would ask me if my "horseys" had won!, still I earned over £1k in the first two months! :T

Take care

morlandbanks

My midwife was soooooooo against me having a homebirth - the witch! I ended up being in Labour for litterally 36 and a half hours because every time I went to the hospital the contractions would slow down and I wasn't dilating enough - even thought the monitors were showing that my contractions were really strong.

Anyway...Luckily there is BIG media hype about homebirth at the moment, so you SHOULD be encouraged to stay at home by your midwife.

I wouldn't advise induction or c-section to anyone - I've had both of those too!!

As long as mother and baby are well, you have every reason to chose the birth that YOU want to have.

Good luck with it. I hope you'll have a save and speedy labour - though not too speedy of course!! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you'll enjoy meeting your new baby. xx