How can I prove maintenance avoidance?

DUTR

maddie67 wrote: »

No, its not the NRP's that have to do that, they can sleep nights because they know that the PWC has stopped their life and is taking care of their children, without question! So when the NRP has had enough of playing happy families its okay for them to walk away and begin another life, just like that?

And Im well aware that some ladies and even gentlemen get NOTHING, but what are you trying to say? That I should shut up and be grateful that I get something? Well I DO get something, and I want that something to be right and fair.

Hmm , I'm not so sure and that is not what i meant, some ladies leave their partners , it is well documented on the forum.
No you shouldn't shut up , though the csa have awarded a right and fair assesment, between the lines it seems sometimes that you want the ex to be 'suffering' more than he is, as there seems to be a resentment about how he treats his new family compared to whom he has become seperated from. Your original post has interested me, as my mortgage is as good as finished I already over pay on my assesment, so once the mortgage is finsished I could apply the payments towards my pension or even switch to working part time, I don't think my child's mum would act in a bitter and twisted way to entertain some of the sanctions suggested .

maddie67

DUTR wrote: »

Hmm , I'm not so sure and that is not what i meant, some ladies leave their partners , it is well documented on the forum.
No you shouldn't shut up , though the csa have awarded a right and fair assesment, between the lines it seems sometimes that you want the ex to be 'suffering' more than he is, as there seems to be a resentment about how he treats his new family compared to whom he has become seperated from. Your original post has interested me, as my mortgage is as good as finished I already over pay on my assesment, so once the mortgage is finsished I could apply the payments towards my pension or even switch to working part time, I don't think my child's mum would act in a bitter and twisted way to entertain some of the sanctions suggested .

Im sorry I dont follow what you mean in your last sentence - entertain WHAT sanctions suggested.

As you dont know me, let me assure you that I am in no way bitter or twisted, and my ex does not suffer in any way shape or form, honestly, he doesnt. He is able to see his children anytime he wants to and yes, as I am being honest, I do resent that he only chooses to see them for one night a week and they dont get the same as their half sibling but Im proud of the way they deal with this. Its not nice for them when he tells them hes taking his wife and their half sibling abroad and they are not going too because his wife deserves a break because she works full time. My children take it in their stride and think nothing of it, if I were bitter and twisted I would make sure they made his life hell.

I often run around dropping the kids off and picking them up for him because he doesnt want to drive an extra 10 minutes to bring them the full 12 mile journey home, I have to meet him half way, so his access costs me money. I never bother him to take time off work if the children are ever ill and off school, its always me that has to use my holidays, and again, I never make an issue of this, its my job as a parent.

My partner also has children and pays maintenance, like you, he pays more than his assessment and we have the children here regularly as its a joint custody arrangement. All of our children are treated in exactly the same way and we wouldnt dream of taking a holiday without any of our children. We certainly wouldnt expect their mother to run around dropping them off or collecting them for us. Thats what makes me so bewildered about my ex, how anyone could be so indifferent towards their own children, maybe my expectations are too high?

Whilst I dont disagree that the maintenance calculated is right, I dont agree that it is fair because the net pay is only based on his salary after he has paid a larger proportion into his pension.

Loopy_Girl

Maddie, you will get 80% of your childcare costs through tax credits paid back. This includes any after school clubs and also any holiday clubs providing they have an OFSTED ref number

Please also try to ignore DUTR's baiting about being PWC. It's infantile and frankly getting a bit boring. According to him, all PWC are bitter and twisted and to approach the CSA for rightful CS is 'begging'.

He's never going to win a father of the year award so his comments mean nothing. Honestly, take no notice.

chall1964

maddie67 wrote: »

The CSA have his latest wage slips, surely they can see what his pension payments are, or do they just have a figure for overall outgoings before net?? Does anyone have any words of advice for me on this one? How can I prove that this is what he is doing?

Most NRP pension contributions are a reasonable proportion of net weekly income, but there maybe cases where the NRP is making significant pension contributions and using other income, such as a partner’s income, that is not assessable for child maintenance to live on, which has the effect of severely reducing the maintenance liability.


If the NRP was diverting high levels of income into a pension scheme or any other form of otherwise allowable expense, the PWC must initiate the process. The agency will then consider whether the person is trying culpably to avoid their responsibilities.

maddie67

Thanks Loopy Girl, unfortunately I think our household income just pushes us over the threshold for Tax Credits so we do not receive them, would we still be eligible for help with childcare costs? The fact that my partner is in the armed forces and is based 300 miles away and so has to pay for separate accomodation and living costs etc, is not taken into account. Because he is away 80% of the time he cannot really be relied upon for childcare either. I dont think my ex appreciates that it would be so much more cost effective for us to move 300 miles away but we have stayed here so that all the kids have a stable base and have regular contact with both parents, we are not selfish enough to consider moving them away.

Chall1964, thanks, I tried to initiate it with the lady at the CSA yesterday but she just kept saying I had to find a way to prove it, im not sure how to do that?

Loopy_Girl

Sorry Maddie, I assumed you were a lone parent. I didn't realise you had a new partner - scrap what I said!!!

Why don't you go on to www.entitledto.co.uk and put figures in as if you WERE paying the child care costs you are saying (along with all the income etc) and see if it comes out if you get any help

chall1964

In such circumstances, a variation would need to be applied for on the grounds that, the NRP has increased their pension contributions in order to reduce CM payments.
The agency do have procedures for diversion of income via high pension contributions.

Obviously a lot will depend on a NRPs own circumstances. Usually contributions of 15% or less of an NRPs assessable income are acceptable. The figures are different if the pension contribution is related to a mortgage on the persons home.

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Please also try to ignore DUTR's baiting about being PWC. It's infantile and frankly getting a bit boring. According to him, all PWC are bitter and twisted and to approach the CSA for rightful CS is 'begging'.

He's never going to win a father of the year award so his comments mean nothing. Honestly, take no notice.

LG I 'm not sure what your beef is against me, this place is not a forum for anti men ladies, all the time you bang on about ignoring people, you have already had a PM from me apologising as I assumed your were one of these penny pinchers not one of the deserving that get nothing.
I'm as likely to win father of the year as you are mother of the year, parenting is not status and almost each and everyone on here is in the same loser camp as in cant hold a relationship and has evidence to prove (eg children)

Yes the OP can totally ignore what viewpoints are given from males and just listen to the B&T that seem to get their kicks off what others are doing,
but for the record no i don't think all PWCs are bitter and twisted yourself included although sometimes days like today I wonder what is really bothering you? x

maddie67

DUTR wrote: »

LG I 'm not sure what your beef is against me, this place is not a forum for anti men ladies, all the time you bang on about ignoring people, you have already had a PM from me apologising as I assumed your were one of these penny pinchers not one of the deserving that get nothing.
I'm as likely to win father of the year as you are mother of the year, parenting is not status and almost each and everyone on here is in the same loser camp as in cant hold a relationship and has evidence to prove (eg children)

Yes the OP can totally ignore what viewpoints are given from males and just listen to the B&T that seem to get their kicks off what others are doing,
but for the record no i don't think all PWCs are bitter and twisted yourself included although sometimes days like today I wonder what is really bothering you? x

Youve got some nerve - in one post you have called myself and anyone who has been kind enough to reply to my question, Penny Pinchers, Bitter and Twisted and Losers.

The only losers are the absent parents to expect the other parent to pick up the slack with the children and care for them either free of charge or for a minimal amount of money that wont make too big a dent in their bank balance. Does that ring any bells with yourself??

Reading back through some of your posts, its no surprise to me that you are one of those losers you talk about that cant hold a relationship, given that you have such a low opinion of us bitter and twisted penny pinchers!

Soubrette

maddie, DUTR is on my ignore list. Fool me once and all that. Imo he basically hates women so not worth interacting with if you are one, unless he fancies you and is trying to schmmooze you.

Click on his username, then on view public profile and about a third of the way down on the right is a sentence that says Add <username> to your ignore list. Click on that and he's mostly gone.

The only downside is when other people quote him

Sou