MSE Parents Club Part 10

searching_me

csh LOVE IT! the look on his face is priceless x

tarajayne

As most of you know we wanted a joint wedding and christening. Well the Dean had said she would do it whilst we had no Vicar here but was so busy she asked if we would mind waiting until the new Vicar started, of course we said we would wait. He came over a week ago and has said he won't do it. He feels it's dis-honest to not tell people we are getting married, but he will marry us but not with a christening as he feels they should be seperate. Then he said he doesn't agree with christenings and we shoud have a naming ceremony or dedication. I listened carefully to him and have thought it over and over. I do have my beliefs, they are not up for discussion as they are mine and personal. If I didn't have those beliefs I wouldn't be taking my baby into a church or marrying there. He is very new age and a born again Christian, him and his wife talk about God an awful lot (every conversation) and pray everywhere. Have had a prayer in my lounge by both of them, and she only came for a cuppa. Now it can be a little uncomfortable if you can't even chat about the kids without God being mentioned. They have extremely strong beliefs and want to tell everyone which is fine but is it fair that try and put them onto others? I really want Maddy christened, it surely is my choice. The other 5 are, how can I possibly make different choices for her. As for the wedding, again it is his opinion that he is putting onto us, if he doesn't want us to surprise then that's fine but why not together?

MadDogWoman_2

gorgeous picture CSH.

I'm trying to get Katie to have a rest and not doing very well, plus she keeps trying to raid the fridge.

searching_me

tara personally id ask for another vicar to do it or go to another church if possible as i dont believe this vicar has your best interests at heart it looks rather then it is he is looking at what he believe .. i dont believe in it but my nans local church was open to everyone beliefs or none .. i would have a talk again and say how you feel and put your points across x

SugarSpun

tarajayne wrote: »

As most of you know we wanted a joint wedding and christening. Well the Dean had said she would do it whilst we had no Vicar here but was so busy she asked if we would mind waiting until the new Vicar started, of course we said we would wait. He came over a week ago and has said he won't do it. He feels it's dis-honest to not tell people we are getting married, but he will marry us but not with a christening as he feels they should be seperate. Then he said he doesn't agree with christenings and we shoud have a naming ceremony or dedication.

Then perhaps he shouldn't be a vicar?

Is there any way the Dean could step in, or is there another church?

I'm sorry, how irritating for the vicar to impose his own beliefs on you.

pinkpig08

I was going to suggest asking the Dean to do it instead. Like you say, it's your choice and your beliefs.

tarajayne

Was thinking along those lines, hate to cause bad feeling as I really like them as people, wonder why they have moved so often though. Get the impression they haven't manage to settle anywhere. They have moved Parishes 3 times in 6yrs which is an awful lot with 2 kids in tow.

MadDogWoman_2

Hugs Tara not sure what is going on with your Vicar, but I would find it a bit much too.

Did he give any reasons why he doesn't agree with Christenings?

I'd be telling him it's not his decision about whether DD is christened or not, she yours and you want her Christened but obviously not quite so bluntly.

I also agree with the suggestions above.

Probably moved so much because they impose their views rather than listening to what the congregation wants.

csh_2

MadDogWoman wrote: »

Hugs Tara not sure what is going on with your Vicar, but I would find it a bit much too.

Did he give any reasons why he doesn't agree with Christenings?

I'd be telling him it's not his decision about whether DD is christened or not, she yours and you want her Christened but obviously not quite so bluntly.

I also agree with the suggestions above.

Probably moved so much because they impose their views rather than listening to what the congregation wants.

I agree with this Tara, thats quite bad! Imagine not doing christenings?! thats crazy.

I'll have to love yous and leave yous, IL's are here!

SugarSpun

Tara it's not surprising that they're not settling if he's merrily imposing his own ideas on his parishioners.