permission needed ?

Hi,pull up a sandbag. Recently married, wife 5 months pregnant and getting posted to Cyprus at the end of the year. The wife has a 2 year old daughter from her ex. Now he was fine with us taking her to cyprus with us, for about 18 months approx, as long as he got to see her whenever possible. Happy days. Unfortunatley he's changed his mind and now says he won't give permission for her to leave the country.

So, if he continues with this line, i imagine it will end in a court drama, what are my chances of winning ? I don't know.

Leaving the army is not an option. Getting a transfer or uk posting is a possible i imagine. But i need to get back to my battalion so i can push for promotion ( not in a selfish way, this will benifit my family ). I don't want to mess anyone around, especially not the kids, but i want my family with me.

Out of the thousands of people ex/serving in the forces, I'm hoping someone has been in the same situation and can give some advice please.


  • Blimey hope it gets sorted out hun have you spoken to welfare officer?
  • helseehelsee Forumite
    119 Posts
    hiya, could you try mediation with the wifes ex? Im sorry i dont have any great advice, but didnt want to read and run.
  • EmmEveEmmEve Forumite
    260 Posts
    I know of someone who had a similar issue when they got posted to germany.
    The ex wasn't able to stop them but they had to take lo back to the UK for visits a few times a yr.

    I think because its your job that helps. Its not like you're moving away for the sake of it.
  • Alias_OmegaAlias_Omega Forumite
    7.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I guess you will have to speak to a family-law solicitor on this. I guess you may have to apply to the courts for permission to take her away.

    I am currently in Cyprus, a similar thing.

    Wife has a child from a previous relationship, though they were not married and she was born before the PR rights for unmarried fathers came into effect.

    A lucky escape.

    I would try your local CAB or even pick up the yellow pages and ring a solicitor. Usually 30mins is free and they will give you an idea.

    Good luck, report back to us on how your getting on. Im sure there are many people in your shoes.


  • 13Kent13Kent Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I know of someone in a similar position, and whilst the matter was going through the courts proceedings were deliberately held up by the father, and until the matter was resolved the child had to stay in the UK, the step father was still posted and moved alone, and was fortunate to be able to be posted back to the UK after months of being abroad unaccompanied.

    Sorry not to be more positive.
  • andy69_2andy69_2 Forumite
    2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    The only thing I can think of mate, is just go to cyprus on your own, fly back when you can to see the family, imagine you where the father and your daughter was getting flown to another country. Just being the devils advocatte mate. Im sure you are both used to a long distance relationship.
  • GreengageGreengage Forumite
    39 Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    All I can suggest is try to think bigger picture and long term. Don't do anything rash this tour which could really jeopardise your family interests in the long run. Patience is the key.
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