Funeral Flowers

donnalou

I know some people may find this petty but it really means a big deal to me and my Mum.

Sadly my Dad died 2 weeks ago. We went to pay for the flowers yesterday from my Mum and another from Dad's children and told the florist that we wanted our flowers sent to the funeral directors. The florist then told us that it is customary in Suffolk that all the flowers get sent to the funeral directors. We had never heard of this as in London the flowers all go to the persons home and then placed in the cars from there. Our florist said that anymore orders that she gets she will send to the home. We then went to the 2 other florists in the town and one was very rude saying that if the flowers are going to the house then she will have to charge a delivery charge and she couldn't tell us who had ordered. It is going to be quite a big funeral with 100+ people and most people coming from London and they will assume that flowers will be at the house. I feel really embarrassed by the fact that there will be hardly any flowers at the house and all the money that has been spent on flowers for no one to see.

Has anyone heard of this before? I'm really at a lose on what to do.

Donna

lilac_lady

If you want flowers sent to the house (and I agree with you), change to a florist who will carry out your wishes. You'll better afterwards if you do because this will niggle you. It's not a petty request.

donnalou

Thanks for your reply,

It's not our flowers I'm worried about. It's everyone else friends/family who will also assume that they will got to the house

McKneff

Tell the florist what you want, its your money thats keeping her in a job.

If she wont play ball, go to another florist.

A Delivery charge is a bit of a cheek, if they are a local florist then they will be delivering numerous tributes to the same house at the same time.

Their loss

And I'm sorry for your loss too.

And dont worry too much, everyone will see the flowers altogether at the church.

mountainofdebt

I think my response to her comment about customs would have been to stuff customs I am the paying customer and I will have what I want - and then ask her to justify the delivery charge as surely they have to use fuel to deliver the flower, regardless of destination.

I must admit I have never been to a funeral where the flowers are delivered to the house beforehand but have usually been in the hears with the coffin when it arrives at the home. But each to his own!

donnalou

Thanks for your replies.

I'm not sure if I made myself clear. Our flowers ( Mine and my Mums) we want with the coffin) which our florist said is fine and any other orders she gets she will send straight to the house. It's the other florists that people have ordered from in the town that there is a problem with. I know that everyone who has ordered will just assume that they are going straight to the house. I can just imagine it, everyone arrives at the house there are no flowers!

I am quite interested in this, are flowers to the house just a London thing?

Torry_Quine

I'm sure that people will understand and as long as they see their flowers will be satisfied.

Must admit I've never come across the flowers going to the house. I'm always surprised when I see everyone leaving from the house and going en masse to the funeral so presume that may be a local thing along with following the coffin in to the service.

Here you make your own way and the coffin is already in place at the church/cemetery. Flowers are therefore with the coffin so presumably go to the undertaker.

Hope everything goes well.

amandada

I must admit that it's not something I've heard of. I've only ever had the flowers go to the funeral director or church but it depends on how the funeral service is to be carried out.
At my mum's funeral last month, the coffin went to the church from the funeral director's the evening before (we're not catholic although I know this is common) and we had a short family service and prayers, so the flowers from my dad were on mum's coffin then, and I think the funeral director took the rest of the flowers direct to the church on the actual day-they were certainly there when we arrived for the service.
The only time I've sent flowers to a house is when it's been for the relatives, and not "funeral" flowers as such

katebl

Hi Donnalou, first sorry for your loss. When my Dad passed away last year we had all our flowers sent to the house and laid out in the front garden and people bought more with them. The procession left from there, and when the hearse arrived flowers were loaded into it in front of everyone. I thought it was nice as we had time to read the cards and thank people appropriately, so I can see why you're upset. Is there a relative/friend you could ask just to warn people as and when they approach a florist that the flowers are to go to the house?

tandraig

can you not contact the funeral directors and ask that flowers be redirected to the house?
its another case of different area different customs, but if you are arranging the funeral and paying for it - then you are entitled to get what you want.
Its a simple matter - if florists are used to delivering to the funeral directors - then you tell funeral directors you want the flowers at the house! shouldnt be a problem.
am sorry for your loss, and this extra aggravation. you dont need it at times like this!

jenhug

I'm a kent florist.
Flowers go where ever the customer requests!
Family flowers do usually go to the F/D as obviously they arrive at the house with the main tributes already on the coffin. Most people do now have them all sent to the funeral director but it is client/family discretion and the customer is always right!
Sorry for your loss.