Child not settling in rented house

mlz1413

I agree with princeofpounds, I also moved every two years up until I bought my own house so moving should not be a problem in itself the same as a new bedroom should not cause such fear.

I'm assuming you are quite stressed at the moment and that the whole split, moving, being on your own with a small child has taken its toll on you. Could you take a weekend break at your parents? just to get a bit of rest and be able to relax. This may help you focus more on one problem at a time and be able to work forward.

Your rental is signed and therefore you are in a fixed period, if you don't want to go back to the family home then I see little point in trying to end this rental early if you are only going to move to another rental in a few more weeks time.

schueys_girl

It is probably not the moving or the rented house - it is more the combination of all the entire situation - moving from one house, without dad, and clearly it must of been traumatic in some way for it to have this effect.

You need to persevere and settle the child, reassure them and keep them to as much of a routine as possible and eventually it will calm down.

What age is the child? Toddler makes it difficult to have "proper conversations" but a little older at 4 and you can begin to talk things through. Make sure they always know WHY things have happened (obviously tone it down and bit) and reassure them that you and the dad still love them.

Leaving the rental will not solve any problems - in fact it will make everything worse - where else will you go? The child will be unsettled again, routine disrupted and you are teaching that child that if they cry enough it will mean things change again.

puddy

you havent said specifically whether you have ended your relationship with the boys father, i assume you have.

how old is your son

how often do you have 'family time'

you have to understand that from the child's perspective, he has lost his home (probably in a stressful manner) and lost having his dad there full time. if you are having 'family time' once a week say, its not nearly enough, he will have gone from having dad around at bedtimes, bathtimes, meal times, weekends (i assume), to a weekly, rather stiff meeting (i assume)

so of course he is traumatised, he is grieving the loss of what he knew

this is not about where you live or whether its rented or not, its about the loss of that relationship. its often underestimated the effect that parents splitting up has on their children, thats a given, its going to be hard for them, you can offset some of that by how its done, lots of talking and explanation, lots of contact after. if you dont try and fix it now, problems will store up for the long term

Fire_Fox

I wonder if you need to have a chat with your family doctor, it may be they can refer you to a child psychologist or similar. I don't think it's for randoms on a forum to tell you how to conduct your family life.