Coldfeet - common?

dfarry

OK moving house is a big deal for most people, especially if involves kids, schools and relocation....

My missus is getting coldfeet about our move... is it the right thing to do, will she regret it... if she stays will she always wonder what if?.....

Though we are upsizing on the house we are downsizing on the garden quite considerably and that makes her reluctant... but she loves the house and if you have seen some my other posts you will see that last week she was saying I want that house or else!! hehe

Now she has it...and things are moving (quite quickly) the butterflies have started... my attitude is that if we don't do it then we will never know. I can understand her concerns but I think they are borne out of fear of the unknown rather than a more logical approach to what we are doing.

So I wondered do most people get coldfeet or butterflies, do they get over it or do they act on these instincts?

silvercar

If you don't take this house will you look for another or will you not move full stop? Answering this might focus your mind on whether it is this house that is making you have second thoughts or the whole process of moving.

I think everyone gets nervous about moving, especially if you have been happy in your current home.

dfarry

I think in my earlier posts I said the house wasn't perfect but after 2 months of searching just about every weekend it is the best we have seen...and ticks all the boxes except perhaps the garden...

One of my requirements was a large garage - it only has a small single one... but the extra land at the side (the planning post) will more than cover our other storage needs.The garden is small but needs landscaping to make it our own... that's no big deal really... we have just been spoilt to have had such a big garden in our current home.

So I think it is the whole moving process... the upheaval, moving away from friends and family that have always be "just around the corner"

But by staying put I feel we loose a excellent opportunity to:-
gain a larger home (that we really need)
move out of London and away from the rat race
bring up our children in what I feel will be a more appropriate environment

plus part of reason for moving was relocation due to work, so that outs that under question too.

My missus agree's with all the above but the nerves are there but the pro's easily outweigh the cons.

aloiseb

I have them too.....found the perfect house, offered on it, offer accepted - now I'm finding more and more problems every time I think about it - ! plus I'm findgin more and more to like about where we are now.
I think it's human nature

Ems*Honie

I think its normal, we are moving 15 minutes drive away, and I'm terrified, upset about disrupting the eldests school (he will only be starting year 1 so I'm hoping he will soon adjust


I hope your OH settles down soon Good luck!

Mental_Mentor

My mum recently had the same problem and it was clear to me that she had forgotten how much she loved the house.

I arranged another viewing for her and this did the trick.

My advice is to view it again. You will have a clearer idea what it is that is worrying you when you are there and you may find they are not so bad after all. It is easy to forget the size of things when you have walked away.

Hope this helps

itsakidsworld

I bought some land to build our home and just after signing got cold feet and thought "what have I done"!!!

I started building and for months I was miserable and longed for my old house back and pictured me sat in our nice cosy lounge. When it was finished I stood back and looked at what I had built and guess what? I still had cold feet and hated it!!!!

It took a few years for me to realise that we actually had the house of our dreams and now love the place so much it would be hard to move.

Why not draw up a list for both houses? Make a list of all good and bad in your current home and good and bad in the new home. You need more "goods" than bads in the new home to make the move.

Good luck.

scoobiesnacks

I'm selling my house after a separation and am absolutely gutted to be leaving the house I love. But I know that as soon as I'm settled in my new home I'll forget all about this house. Most of us don't like change and upheaval and even moving to an amazing house that's unfamiliar won't feel like home for some time. Can't tell you whether it's the right move for you, but the emotions are normal and understandable.

suki1964

You have heard of the saying "if it aint broke, dont fix it"?

Well for most of us thats how we live our lives - we hate change

Moving is a HUGE change, change is scarey, so of course theres doubts, fears and the longing to cling onto the familier. Cold feet are to be expected.

I remember when I had to move out of my first rented HA flat. Now I had been burgled 5 times in two years and attacked by a man with a knife who had broken in one night I was too scared to go back so I got an emergency move. Place I was moving too was a thousand times better yet the day I packed my last bits and pieces I sat and balled my eyes out. I was so upset about leaving my first ever home and worrying how I would cope in a new area where i didnt know anyone. But the new flat became my home and I soon found my feet and made new friends.

This last move I have made has been from London to the countryside in N.Ireland - a massive change And yes I got cold feet As soon as I got a buyer for my house and I knew it was all going through I started to get scared. But then the stress of actually selling and buying took over and before I knew it it was 6am moving day and I was in a car heading for Scotland and the ferry. Yes I balled my eyes out on the ferry as thats when it really hit home.

But once again Im settling. My new house is now my home. My standard of living has improved tremendously, Im finding my way around and have started to make friends. The positives outweigh all the negs. I do get "homesick" at times but I dont regret having done it.

Im sure that once you get caught up in the actual process, the fears will end up taking a back seat and slowly she may come to realise that instead of dreading it shes actually looking forward to it. Yes I think her fears stem around the "unknown" and once shes in and familier with the house and area they will fade completely

Good luck

Basil_Hume

My other half and I put in an offer in on a house in Cardiff in November 2004. It so turned out that this was just at the tail end of the price boom (in Cardiff at least).

We had hoped to move in quickly as the house was pretty bare and there was no chain, but for various reasons the process didn't really get started until February 2005.

By this time, it was becoming obvious that we would be in Cardiff for a max of two years - and my other half started having doubts because of this. The survey we'd had done also missed several concerns (e.g. damp), but the killer was that the searches showed a small public sewer passing under the house. It also appeared that no planning permission had been granted for the rear extention being built over the sewer manhole (bit of a no-no apparently). None of this was in the survey of course!

Anyway, from being uber keen, we went - on the inital slight bad feelings my other half had - all the way to pulling out. We lost a grand in various fees.

I'm now writing from a computer at our rented flat in Bristol - where we are now looking for a house to buy! It so happens that in this case deciding to pull out was for the better!

MushyPeas

Hiya OP

Thanks for this thread, makes me feel a bit better about the house I am buying. I first saw it in January and since then the vendor has pulled out three times and I've split up from my OH who lives opposite.

Last week the vendor phoned saying they wanted me to buy it again (good as it has cost me £4K in fees to get to this point). Today I visited it again and have decided....yes!

Scary, still have butterflies and 'what if it is the wrong thing'? But I guess I ultimately won't know until I move in.

Good luck with your move.