Starting to think we're in a real predicament.

Elkiemoo

Thank you RAS, that's a very inspiring story. How did you manage to get a job you weren't trained for, when I can't even get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket?

As for moving, where could we go? I don't think it's possible to get the HB claim sorted, and find somewhere outside London to move to, and move there before March 6th when we have to move out... I've never lived outside London. I wouldn't know where to start looking. I'm familiar with Brighton, but I doubt it's much better than London. I'm scared we'll get stuck somewhere unfamiliar, hate it, and not be able to afford to move elsewhere. I'm starting to panic just thinking about it.

Elkiemoo

Than you Jenner, that's exactly what I wanted to know.

RAS

I could not get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket either; I had recently completed post grad study and no employer would touch me for that sort of job.

I did not know the city; although I knew areas within travelling distance. Just knew that I had to be where there was work. I could always go places I liked for the weekend but could not afford to live in them and commute.

I registered with the temping agencies and basically made myself such a nuisance that it was easier for the staff to give me work than keep fobbing me off. Mostly one or two weeks things, then a few months covering sick leave, then more short stuff and a couple of temping jobs that each went on for a year.

About that time, there was a proper short-term contract (rather then week to week) and i applied for that.

It was tight, and I had to keep my limited savings in case but I managed. The saving grace in the first few years was the very cheap rent in the house-share.

chappers

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Erm, don't quote me in a court of law over this but I believe that your entitlement can cover whatever the heck you like to rent, although I would be surprised if you would qualify for a one-bed if one or both of you are under 25. Why don't you have a peek on Lewisham's website and see if there's any info on there? I believe that none of this is discretionary but I could be wrong.

That won't be the case there will be different ceilings for self contained units and shared accomodation as well as different rates for singles couples and depending upon age.
Is your rent paid upto date with your LL until March, have you spoken to them about staying on and paying via HB.
It seems like you became a bit defetist about this from the start and went about it all ar5e about face.

Elkiemoo

chappers wrote: »

That won't be the case there will be different ceilings for self contained units and shared accomodation as well as different rates for singles couples and depending upon age.
Is your rent paid upto date with your LL until March, have you spoken to them about staying on and paying via HB.
It seems like you became a bit defetist about this from the start and went about it all ar5e about face.

That will be because it's the first time I've done all this and no one, except for the very good people on this forum, has been able to clarify anything for me. LL was paid up front, it's my parent I have been paying back... or not as the case may be. First time round applying for HB I was confused that the Council wouldn't accept the tenancy agreement we had. We were given a Landlord form and I was stumped. Figured the LL wouldn't fill it in if the rent had already been paid to them and didn't accept DSS. We didn't owe them anything. At that point I was still under the impression that the HB went straight to the LL. I wondered if I could even put my parents names down on the LL form as it is them I owe money to, but didn't want to create any more confusion. We finally came to the conclusion that we couldn't claim, full stop, as the rent was already paid to the LL and we would review the situation once my job contract ended at Christmas. So here we are just over a week after getting back from New Year festivities with family in Wales, trying to fit the jigsaw together. We haven't considered staying in this flat as it's two bedrooms and too expensive. We would have moved somewhere smaller/cheaper if it wasn't for the fact we took on my brother after my parent's moved to Wales. He's now back with them, and we have to pay back his share too. I also doubt LL would consider HB after March - spoken to him on the phone a couple of times - barely gave me the time of day. I will ask however, nothing ventured...

Fire_Fox

Elkiemoo wrote: »

Thank you RAS, that's a very inspiring story. How did you manage to get a job you weren't trained for, when I can't even get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket?

As for moving, where could we go? I don't think it's possible to get the HB claim sorted, and find somewhere outside London to move to, and move there before March 6th when we have to move out... I've never lived outside London. I wouldn't know where to start looking. I'm familiar with Brighton, but I doubt it's much better than London. I'm scared we'll get stuck somewhere unfamiliar, hate it, and not be able to afford to move elsewhere. I'm starting to panic just thinking about it.

Elkiemoo wrote: »

That will be because it's the first time I've done all this and no one, except for the very good people on this forum, has been able to clarify anything for me. LL was paid up front, it's my parent I have been paying back... or not as the case may be. First time round applying for HB I was confused that the Council wouldn't accept the tenancy agreement we had. We were given a Landlord form and I was stumped. Figured the LL wouldn't fill it in if the rent had already been paid to them and didn't accept DSS. We didn't owe them anything. At that point I was still under the impression that the HB went straight to the LL. I wondered if I could even put my parents names down on the LL form as it is them I owe money to, but didn't want to create any more confusion. We finally came to the conclusion that we couldn't claim, full stop, as the rent was already paid to the LL and we would review the situation once my job contract ended at Christmas. So here we are just over a week after getting back from New Year festivities with family in Wales, trying to fit the jigsaw together. We haven't considered staying in this flat as it's two bedrooms and too expensive. We would have moved somewhere smaller/cheaper if it wasn't for the fact we took on my brother after my parent's moved to Wales. He's now back with them, and we have to pay back his share too. I also doubt LL would consider HB after March - spoken to him on the phone a couple of times - barely gave me the time of day. I will ask however, nothing ventured...

We are being harsh with you because we care .... look how negative the above posts are!! Growing up IS scary, that never stops. My mum (sixty something!) came home from travelling without my dad in 2008, and was terribly frightened and depressed about her future. Like crying down the phone for two hours frightened and depressed.

One of the things that has got me through life is never taking no for an answer: something looks scary or incredibly tough and I find a way around it. Never assume anything, find out using the internet. I have relocated several times but only once completely alone, three years ago to Bradford. I had no debts but no savings, no job and no other income, a flat I could not afford to pay the bills on, six weeks to organise everything. Trust me I was bl**dy terrified.

So I figured I needed a job and fast, but Bradford is not exactly flush with jobs. I sent thirty three CVs out to companies all around the region and got myself three interviews for an industry I was not qualified in! I came up overnight, and telephoned or visited EVERY company I'd sent a CV to, two days on buses and walking the streets. By the end I had a minimum wage job with casual hours.

I ended up spending the next month blagging my way into a college course I wasn't qualified to attend, frantically applying for student finance, moved two weeks earlier than planned, no furniture barring a bed and shelf unit, no TV no phone no computer and no internet access, hassled for benefits to tide me over for a couple of weeks.

My point is that nothing bad happened - I didn't starve, I didn't have to sleep on a park bench. And the move was a good one, my parents live nearby (when they are home :rolleyes:), I have qualified and got loads of work experience in an industry I love, I have made new friends and useful contacts through volunteering in a community group.

If your boyfriend won't grow up, maybe you need to grow up without him or you are going to end up homeless. This website will happily help you, as I know your family will. I don't mean you have to split up or anything, just start making arrangements for yourself and if he comes round to your way of thinking great.

I believe you could have a great future ahead of you, but you have to ask yourself what baby steps you need to take to get there. Do you want kids, a home of your own? You are never going to get that in London if you insist on renting a flat. You will never pay your debts off and you will never be able to save a deposit. But you CAN have that if you start making it happen by making some tough choices now.

Lecture over!

Elkiemoo

Oh Fire Fox, I know, I know! I do this a lot. I am fully aware of this problem and it does need correction! I'm the person who assumes the worst so they don't get disappointed. I've had such bad luck since leaving university, I'm feeling very sorry for myself. Everything is a struggle - even finding a minimum wage job. It's time to get fierce.
I mentioned to b/f earlier this evening that we are unlikely to get LHA for a 1 bedroom and he accepted that we should be looking for flat shares. Hoorah! We both needed the direction everyone has given us here.
Ultimately we are looking to move out of London. But, dare I say, I don't think now is the right time to do so, as there is so much going on. Will talk about it with b/f more in depth over the weekend. However, his little bro is staying with us 'til Sunday (yet more procrastination!)
Out of interest, what student finance were you eligible for? I would love to do another course to further my Russian degree. I wanted to go on to do a diploma in either translation/interpretation. I figured I'd get a decent job after uni, save up, and maybe start the course part time... but it didn't quite work out like that... Long story short, my enthusiasm dried up at the first hurdle...
My LEA paid for my course fees during my degree and I haven't even started re-paying my student loan, as I've fallen far short of the annual £15000 income marker. I did some research before I left and as far as I could see nothing but a scholarship would have supported me further. Obviously, I haven't got the income at the moment to pay back a loan.

The lecture came much appreciated.

Fire_Fox

Elkiemoo wrote: »

Oh Fire Fox, I know, I know! I do this a lot. I am fully aware of this problem and it does need correction! I'm the person who assumes the worst so they don't get disappointed. I've had such bad luck since leaving university, I'm feeling very sorry for myself. Everything is a struggle - even finding a minimum wage job. It's time to get fierce.
I mentioned to b/f earlier this evening that we are unlikely to get LHA for a 1 bedroom and he accepted that we should be looking for flat shares. Hoorah! We both needed the direction everyone has given us here.
Ultimately we are looking to move out of London. But, dare I say, I don't think now is the right time to do so, as there is so much going on. Will talk about it with b/f more in depth over the weekend. However, his little bro is staying with us 'til Sunday (yet more procrastination!)

Your cheerleaders, Miss Elkiemoo:
:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

If everything is a struggle maybe it's time to speak to your GP? A winter like this plus two of you on benefits, you wouldn't be the first to need a little support - counselling, medication, referrral for exercise on prescription. Sometimes procrastination is necessary, as you say you have guests. Do the easy-ish stuff like fill in forms and hold off on the scary discussions. You have made good progress and should be proud of yourself.

Elkiemoo wrote: »

Out of interest, what student finance were you eligible for? I would love to do another course to further my Russian degree. I wanted to go on to do a diploma in either translation/interpretation. I figured I'd get a decent job after uni, save up, and maybe start the course part time... but it didn't quite work out like that... Long story short, my enthusiasm dried up at the first hurdle...
My LEA paid for my course fees during my degree and I haven't even started re-paying my student loan, as I've fallen far short of the annual £15000 income marker. I did some research before I left and as far as I could see nothing but a scholarship would have supported me further. Obviously, I haven't got the income at the moment to pay back a loan.

The lecture came much appreciated.

I got full student finance as a mature student. Previously completed an HNC under my own steam (module by module, working all the while), but got sick further into the full degree so did not complete it. So I received the full grant and loan as I had not already got a degree. Still haven't: I got sick again. :rolleyes: Don't worry about your student loan, they write it off eventually.

Have you thought about applying for a position, any postion, in a college or university? They will often allow you to take an in house course for free. Even the NHS or a council, many public services have a 'constitutional' commitment to allowing you to further your own career goals, even if not related directly to your role.

BitterAndTwisted

Elkiemoo wrote: »

Will talk about it with b/f more in depth over the weekend. However, his little bro is staying with us 'til Sunday

Is that the little blighter who let loose with the BB gun? While he's round you should broach the subject of who's responsible for the damage to the ceiling and who's going to be paying for it when deductions are made from your deposit. You got a ladder and some paint handy?

ViolaLass

Elkiemoo wrote: »

Out of interest, what student finance were you eligible for? I would love to do another course to further my Russian degree. I wanted to go on to do a diploma in either translation/interpretation. I figured I'd get a decent job after uni, save up, and maybe start the course part time... but it didn't quite work out like that... Long story short, my enthusiasm dried up at the first hurdle...

I'm very impressed at how you took that little lecture! Well done.

Have you considered the Open University? For a start, you can do the courses as you find the time without having to commit to three years or however many years of studying in one go. Also means you only have to find the money for one course at a time AND it wouldn't matter if you moved mid-course. If your income is low and/or you end up on benefits, there may also be ways of getting the tuition fees reduced (haven't looked into this properly as my income is /just/ too high). Again, it could be another way of approaching something you want with baby steps, one course at a time (once you've sorted out where you're going to live etc, of course, but it might give you something to look forward to for now)

I alos agree that you shouldn't wait for your boyfriend to come round to every realisation about the situation. As Fire Fox said

"I don't mean you have to split up or anything, just start making arrangements for yourself and if he comes round to your way of thinking, great."

Also, I can understand why kicking him out on the streets and telling him he needs to do x will make you unpopular but sometimes these are things we need to do for the sake of those we love (and, in this case, for your own sake). I once threatened to leave my now-husband because he wasn't taking job-hunting seriously enough and we were close to being in trouble. It was the kick up the backside that he needed and had the desired effect. Cruel to be kind and all that.