where will this end?

euronorris

Hi there,

Just curious, was she working for the same employer last year? If so, was she granted holiday over Xmas last year also?

How often has she been sick this year? Is she attending counselling sessions or something of the sort to help improve things? If she is, it may work in her favour as she will be receiving treatment for the queried illness, and she can prove that she's working towards improving things so that the amount of time off sick is reduced.

I'm sorry, I can't offer any practical advice on the disciplinary. And I'm not going to comment about whether or not the illness is genuine, as a) I'm not a doctor and b) I wasn't there and I've never met your wife. How could I possibly draw conclusions on that?

As for those who noted that stress, back pain and flu being the most common reasons for sick notes....of course they are. They are common ailments which we will all probably suffer from at some point in our lives! lol.

I suffered with a bad back for two years (well, all my life, but the pain only affected my life for 2 years) and it's horrid! I was lucky, my employer recognised the issue and encouraged me to make full use of the health cover in place for tests and physio. Certainly reduced the time I was waiting for tests and physio on the NHS! Thankfully, it was a relatively minor issue which has now been resolved. But I resent the implication that everyone who gets a sicknote for a bad back is faking it. How can you possibly know that?

Zazen999

euronorris wrote: »

But I resent the implication that everyone who gets a sicknote for a bad back is faking it. How can you possibly know that?

I think you are missing the point.

the point IS.......

The employees TOLD THE EMPLOYER that if they didn't get their 3 weeks leave, they would pull a sickie.

Then they went to the doctor to get signed off for the period.

This suggests to me that they PULLED A SICKIE.

It's a common thing, shown by various reports that even doctors think that people are pulling sickies when they aren't really ill, as they conveniently can't be proven either way.

This should annoy you, being genuine, as people that do this make it harder for people to believe you if you are genuine.

Of course, if the OP's ex partner was laid up for the duration, and is on strong painkillers, then it would suggest a coincidence, wouldn't it?

euronorris

Zazen999 wrote: »

This suggests to me that they PULLED A SICKIE.

It may 'suggest' that to be the case, but you don't know for sure, so I don't think any of us should comment on whether the sickness was genuine or not.

The OP has asked for some help and guidance on how to navigate this issue, as it is now. He didn't come on here to be chastised for what may or may not be genuine sick leave of his ex partner.

The event has already occurred, he's simply asking for some help on how best to deal with the situation now.

jazzys

She telephoned ACAS this morning and explained the whole situation to one of their team. the acas employee was a bit flabbergasted to be honest, she couldn't believe what she was hearing and strongly advised her to put a letter of grievance in to the shop management.

They also told her that if she did end up getting dismissed, she should contact them straight away and they would get involved.

Jazzys

euronorris

Also, it is not uncommon for sickness to happen at inconvenient or even 'suspicious' times.

After 2 years, I had a few friends questioning whether my back pain was genuine or not, as I often had to cancel plans at the last minute as I couldn't get out of bed.

Nevermind that I had spent entire evenings in tears at A&E despite being so doped up on painkillers and muscle relaxants that I was also being sick.

stebiz

euronorris wrote: »

It may 'suggest' that to be the case, but you don't know for sure, so I don't think any of us should comment on whether the sickness was genuine or not.

The OP has asked for some help and guidance on how to navigate this issue, as it is now. He didn't come on here to be chastised for what may or may not be genuine sick leave of his ex partner.

The event has already occurred, he's simply asking for some help on how best to deal with the situation now.

Well it appears, according to his post, that his ex has been in touch with ACAS, and they were 'flabbergasted'. So the OP has nothing to worry about. I'm sure ACAS were told all the facts:rolleyes: ie The employee predicted she would be ill with stress for 3 weeks, after her holidays were refused.

Vader123

This all sounds fishy to me too.

I am suprised that ACAS is surprised.

Is this summary correct?

1) You booked the holiday before getting the leave booked off work.
2) She asked for the leave and was refused as it was at Xmas
3) She then said "I will take it as sick then"
4) Got signed off by the doc
5) Still went on holiday.

I can see why the employer would suspect something.

I can't see how someone can put up with the stress of holiday arrnagements, flights, the children, yet can't make it to work.

I would check ACAS have the full version of what happened and take it from there.

Vader

rupee99

Don't read too much into what the ACAS person said, they only have your side of the story, it is a little like the others who have rushed to judgement, albeit they have just chosen to interpret the facts as presented by you in a prejudiced manner.

If I were in your partners position I would not file a grievance at the moment, there is plenty of time to do so once the hearing has taken place and quite frankly from what you have said it is additional stress she can do without.

Good luck

euronorris

From what we have been advised, the OP's ex wife did not 'go on holiday'. He flew to the UK, with their son, so that they could all spend Xmas together. I haven't seen anything that says they actually went abroad together.

OP - if your ex wife is under considerable stress, can you not move back to the UK? At least her son wouldn't be so far away then? (I don't know the full back history here, so it's just a question to clarify).

andygb

euronorris wrote: »

It may 'suggest' that to be the case, but you don't know for sure, so I don't think any of us should comment on whether the sickness was genuine or not.

The OP has asked for some help and guidance on how to navigate this issue, as it is now. He didn't come on here to be chastised for what may or may not be genuine sick leave of his ex partner.

The event has already occurred, he's simply asking for some help on how best to deal with the situation now.

By only quoting one line of Zazen's post, you are taking it totally out of context. You have failed to mention the preceding points, about the employee threatening to go off sick unless they were given the time off.
That is the most important point here, that people think they can blackmail their employers into doing something, and then cry "foul" when their ill thought out plans are rumbled.