Help to get my son sleeping through the night....

liz-paul

Hello all,

DS2 is nearly 7 months old & has almost never slept through the night without a feed at some point. I don't think the cold weather helps (part of whats waking him up) but it is exhausting me. I know that they're all different but DS1 stopped taking a feed at around 10 weeks.
I can't tell if he's genuinely hungry or just got used to it. Because the boys are in the same room I don't like to leave him whinging/shouting too long save I have 2 of them up:eek: We are very lucky but is an incredibly easy baby apart from that & the usual teething etc but I'd love a full nights sleep esp as DS1 woke regularly in the night for 2 1/2 - 3 years (for his dummy, bad dreams etc).
I am willing to consider any advice but I'm not really into anything too strict (Gina Ford type stuff) but I'm also not that earthy/natural.....
Thanks in advance for any suggestions :T

neneromanova

What time do you normally feed in the night and is it bottle or breast?

apples1

It will be habit now. As long as he feeds reasonably during the day his body will be able to go through the night without food/milk. It is likely that he has learnt that the way to get back to sleep when he wakes in the night is to have a bottle, a dummy, a cuddle from Mum/Dad or whatever it is he is used to.

He needs to learn how to go back to sleep by himself and it's your job to teach him and help him learn this skill. Eveyone wakes in the night. Most of us don't remember waking but we all do. The difference is we have learnt to get to get back into the land of nod without a prop.

I take your point about not wanting anything too strict but neither do you want this to continue. Can I suggest gentle withdrawal. You CAN do it and you can teach him within five days to sleep through (maybe less).

Firstly you and your partner need to be commited. Pick a run of at least three nights where you are able to survive without a good night sleep. Maybe when he is off the next day so you can get an hour during the day etc. I know it's not easy but don't start if you can't dedicate a few days to this.

Then on night one when he cries, go in, pick him up until he stops crying, keep it dark and only whisper shh shh to him. As SOON AS he stops crying put him back in the cot. Even if he crys as soon as you do it just quietly leave the room. Assuming he keeps crying go back after two mins (time it) and do the same, hold him as long as needed until he stops crying but DO NOT let him fall asleep in your arms. Once calm put him down again. This time go back after four mins, then repeat, then six mins, then 8 mins, then 10 mins. Once you get to ten do not increase the time, keep going back after ten mins. That way he is never left crying for long, he knows you are there and it's not cruel or disturbing or anything else strict or unkind. You soothe him until he stops each time and only start timing once you leave the room.

This may take a long time the first night and it won't be fun. You and your partner will need each others support. He WILL fall asleep. he may wake again later in the night and you MUST do the same thing. If you will need to give up then don't even start as all you will teach him is that he needs to keep it up and he'll get a bottle or Mummy and Daddy's bed or whatever it is he has learnt he needs.

After two nights you WILL see an improvement. It will probably not take more than three nights. Five at the absolute most. It WILL work as long as you stick to it. You may need to move your older boy to another room (even another house!) for a few nights but the effort will be so worth it.

Once you have taught him how to do it he will sleep through. Good luck. x

clairec79

If you think it may be the cold waking him up (ie kicking off covers) then as he's awake thinks may as well feed, I'd try him in a baby sleeping bag - I'm convinced they helped my three sleep longer

Is he having some solids now? A supper may keep his belly full longer than just milk

The one thing I would say differently to apples is I was told not to leave them longer than 1 minute per month of life - so wouldn't let him cry for more than 7 minutes

apples1

Also a big fan of baby sleeping bags. Read the GroBag website for info on what they should be wearing depending on the temp in the room. That way you will know he is not cold. A sleeping bag that's 2.5 tog will be lovely for him in this weather.

liz-paul

Hi all, quick answers to Q's. He wakes for a feed any time between 2 - 5 roughly. He is now bottle fed (on the breast he took at least & upto 8 night feeds until he came off at 4 months!). This is usually the only time he wakes at night.
He is in a fleecy sleep suit, gro bag & up to 3 blankets (a couple of them are usually doubled over). His hands can be frozen.
I was confident until recently that he should be able to go all nigth with no feed but the last week or so he has really cried after he is picked up & cuddled (in his room or our bed) if you don't give him the bottle whereas in the past he was often settled just by having a cuddle & maybe coming into our bed to warm up for 30 mins or so.
He has 3 solid meals & 3 7oz bottles in 24hrs with occasional variation. It seems to make no difference whether he is put into the cot awake, asleep, if he finishes his bedtime bottle or not. Hope this helps.....

apples1

His body CANNOT be cold with all that. Having cold hands is not the same thing. It is dangerous to put blankets over a baby in a sleeping bag. What is the temperature in his bedroom? What tog rating is his GroBag?

He is having enough food and milk to sleep through the night.

Please stop all the coverings - by doubling blankets you are effectively putting him in a grobag, six blankets and a fleece suit. You are in danger of him overheating.

What do you think about the suggested back to sleep routine above?

MrsTinks

DD is 6 1/2 months and often has cold hands - but if you check her body it's lovely and snuggly warm. She's been in a 2.5 tog bag for months now and it's brilliant - no blankets needed but then we're in a well insulated house
Despite a feed at about 8 when she goes down I tend to also wake her at midnight for a dream feed. I found that if we don't do this she'll wake between 4 and 6 and demand feeding and then she may or may not settle afterwards and the whole day gets off to a bad start. I also change her nappy at midnight to make sure she's comfy throughout

Have you changed his milk up from the first stage to stage 3?

kindofagilr

apples1 wrote: »

His body CANNOT be cold with all that. Having cold hands is not the same thing. It is dangerous to put blankets over a baby in a sleeping bag. What is the temperature in his bedroom? What tog rating is his GroBag?

He is having enough food and milk to sleep through the night.

Please stop all the coverings - by doubling blankets you are effectively putting him in a grobag, six blankets and a fleece suit. You are in danger of him overheating.

What do you think about the suggested back to sleep routine above?

Its not dangerous to put a blanket over a sleeping bag

It says you can do it here (depending on the temp)

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/buyingforbaby/cotscribsbedding/bedding/#4

OP it does sound like he has too many blnkets etc though

liz-paul

Hi, I appreciate & understand the concern but he is often cold (not just his hands). I know that you are not recommended to use blankets with a sleeping bag but in the winter I have always needed to with both boys. My nephew died from cot death & I have a good knowledge of cot death & the causes of & also safety guidelines. You are also supposed to have the babys room kept at a fairly constant temp (is it about 17, I can't remember off the top of my head) without having the heating on. This has never been possible for us in the winter. The last couple of weeks esp have been freezing, a glass of water in my bedroom in the middle of the night recently has been colder than if it had come out of our fridge.

Will think about the above routine but will not jump into it tonight. Thanks again everyone.

fernliebee

Not sure if he might be too young, but when my DD had been sleeping through without a feed she started to wake up again and so I thought growth spurt so would give her a breastfeed. However after a few nights she would just be fussing, not really bothered for milk just wanting to play etc, so when she would wake I would just offer her water from her beaker, That way I could leave her in bed and then make minimal fuss of her. Once she realised she was getting no real attention and only water she woke much less. May not work for you though.