Bit of advice please....

conradmum

I would think long term about this. In your industry things move fast. If you don't work at all for five years, would you be able to go back into the level of job you'd be leaving, or would you have to start at the lowest level? I think it would be a good idea to talk through with your partner where you both imagine you'll be in ten years' time. Will he expect you to go back to work when your youngest is at school? How would you feel about returning to work after such a long absence?

I've both stayed at home and worked, part time and full time. The downside to staying at home is that it can be isolating, tiring (caring for young children 24/7 can be worse than being able to take a break from them at work) and it can lower your self esteem. Lots of people find their self-confidence about working diminishes the longer they're absent from the workplace.

As well as talking about the long term with your partner, I think you could also think about your own interest in this. Forgive me if this seems rude but it sounds as though your relationship with the baby's father is still in the quite early stages (you said he moved in in November). If you give up your job you'll be very dependent on him and if anything goes wrong you'll be in a worse position than if you had a job to go to.

Financially speaking, do you pay into a pension fund and does your partner? Will he be able/willing to contribute towards your old age as well as his own? Just another thing to think about.

Sorry to be so negative. A lot of posts have covered the pleasures of being a SAHM so I thought it would be worth posting the other side of the coin too. As I said, I've been a SAHM too and it's great in many ways. But I think you should be wary of the shiny prospect of giving up your job tempting you to do something a little rash. Certainly it doesn't seem sensible to forego quite a lot of maternity income for the sake of giving up work a few months earlier.

Good luck with your decision, whatever it is.

Scared1980

Hi everyone... Thank you so much for all the replies... all of which have made me think alot!!

My relationship is new in that we have only been together a year (didn't want to rush moving him in as was thinking of my girls and wanted them to know him really well before I brought him into the house) but we have known eachother as friends for nearly 3 (Just like to point out he is not the reason my previous relationship fell apart... there was alot of mental and some physical abuse going on there and it took me 2 years to build up thecourage to get out - Great Dad... terrible partner)... anyway...

I do like the idea of starting my maternity leave as early as possible and keeping the security there should we need it. I am lucky in that I will still get some of my benefits indirectly as my company offers "family" cover on lots of things... Bupa being the main one!!!

Thank you again for all the responses... I don't usually start posts so am really chuffed xxx

L
xxx

Scared1980

Thanks for the SAHM links too... have been really helpful

L
x

esmf73

Hi OP,

Whilst I didn't have a high flying career - my OH is in the army so we've moved around more times than I care to remember - I did this when DS1 was born. I have found it both frustrating and rewarding, lonely and full of friends. Sometimes when he was a tot I caught myself making conversation with the check out lady in Tesco just because that would be the only person I would talk to all day.

Then there are the times when I laid beside him and watched him go to sleep - magical. Now that he is 5 1/2 and DS2 is 4, I am on call pretty much 24/7 as they have wet beds and the only time I get off is when they're at school / nursery. I do find that I have to be quite selfish with my time in that if something is important to me I protect the time around it.

Best of luck - feel free to PM me if you want!!

charliee_3

glad we could all be of help. i think someone touched on it, but unless you are very lucky dont expect to be able to go back to work at the same level you are now.. if you think part-time may be an option you would be better off asking your current employer for part-time/ job share/ flexible hours at the end of the maternity leave (you can take up to year with the last bit being unpaid) than trying to get another job as I found good part-time work is hard to find. I was a PA in london with good experience and i never had trouble getting a job (i had literally never been rejected before), but when i started looking for part-time admin work in my local area i was turned down for every one.. some didnt even bother calling me back, i got so desprate i applied to tesco as we needed the cash and i never even got a call from them!! There is so much competition for the the good part-time jobs its stupid (by good i mean the ones where you still feel like you have a career rather than just a job).. i felt like suddenly had this tattoo on my head that said 'unemployable disorganised mother'.. luckily i did get a job eventually but it is a long way from where i live and it is boring as hell.. but sadly we need the money so i dont have much choice...

hope it works out whatever you decide and all goes well with the new baby!