Ex wife does not let me see children

pinkshoes

Has your friend tried to communicate with the kids in another way i.e. email, writing letters, phone calls? Does the 12 year old have a facebook account?

Tell your friend to take a camcorder to record the mother being difficult over giving access to the children.

It'll be worth the fight, as if those kids grow up to learn that their mother wouldn't let them see their dad, they'll end up hating her.

chesky369

split personality?

daska

Think you ought to change solicitor and go back to court requesting contact via a contact centre. Downside, centres are often only open alternate weeks for 2 hours. Upside, independent confirmation of whether mum actually turns up, what time, what state she's in, any problems. You can then go back to court and use this as evidence that contact isn't being allowed.

sebastianj

Thanks every one,
Snapping-crocodile the question of Nationality arose because I could see how naive my friend is comparatively.
Example, she tells him he can take the children and bring them back in the evening. He made numerous call to her wanting to know where to drop the children, she does not respond. The following day Police arrests him, his wife had accused him of kidnapping the children.
Two weeks ago he arranges to pick up the children, she invites him in to see children room. He was picked up again by the police, she accused him of assaulting her and coming into her house.
I know for sure that she is a compulsive lier, she is only doing this because the Court has denied her brother access to his children and she wants revenge.
seb

mummy_Jay

Get him to agree all collections in wrting before taking the children, even if its just him giving her an emial or txt saying he will drop the kids off at .time & place. This will allow him to prove any accusation as a sham if she pulls another stunt.
When he collects the children and you or someone else outside of the family accompany him so if she pulls these stunts can bare witness?

Is she also refusing to let him contact the children or is this just silly games?

The whole situation sounds quite horrid but leaves me wondering why the aggression, is there more to this?
Was there something in the marriage to either make her believe he shouldn't see the children or that he might snatch the children? or was she always this manipulative (as they have a 12 yr old surely he knew what she was like?). I can't believe that this is her brother as it will be the children that will suffer from this more than anyone else.

MrsAnnie

sebastianj wrote: »

Thanks every one,
Snapping-crocodile the question of Nationality arose because I could see how naive my friend is comparatively.
Example, she tells him he can take the children and bring them back in the evening. He made numerous call to her wanting to know where to drop the children, she does not respond. The following day Police arrests him, his wife had accused him of kidnapping the children.
Two weeks ago he arranges to pick up the children, she invites him in to see children room. He was picked up again by the police, she accused him of assaulting her and coming into her house.
I know for sure that she is a compulsive lier, she is only doing this because the Court has denied her brother access to his children and she wants revenge.
seb

I have seen this happen to a firend of mine. BTW nationaliy had nothing to do with it - they are both British.

Anyway the solution, from the fathers point of view, was to arrange drop off and pick up the child at a public place, usually it was at the town center. So no false accusations could be made, since there would be a whole lot of witnesses to confirm or deny any allegations against him. If the ex was not there to collect at the arranged time, the child was taken to the police station where the mother was called and asked to come and collect. Albeit not at all very nice for tbe child, but the only possible choice to avoid allegations or confortations. The Ex soon realised that the father was not going to constantly be at her mercy.

sebastianj

Thanks Mummy-Jay and MrsAnnie,
It is an impossibility to negotiate with her, he took someone with him last weekend, exactly for the purpose you mention. She was talking to him very calm and collective then the police arrived, she had called them again. She comes out crying, in tears saying my EX has been threatening her and he has brought other people as well. This time round police did not arrest my friend instead they apologised for not being authorised to enforce the court order.
Every one is afraid to accompany him in case his EX accuses them of something.
seb

mummy_Jay

How about using the local contact center, and ask them to do the hand overs so she doen't have to have any direct contact with him or vice a versa?

There is still something missing from this equation, the catalyist. If you are aware of what started this behavour off, maybe it would change the way of dealing with it or (and I know you don't want o hear this) she has good reason not to want him near her children.

MrsAnnie

Obviously, there is a pattern. He goes to pick up children, goes up to the house, gets invited in, accepts, all is fine and dandy, then all hell breaks loose. Why is your friend falling for this trap each time???


Failing going through a contact centre or meeting in a public place,he should drive up to the house at the arranged time, wait in the car till the children come out and get the children in the car and drive away. Job done. I don't really see the need for there to be any conversations taking place between the parents. In a perfect world communication would be ideal, however it doesn't seem likey given the circumstances.


PS I agree that friend should get another solicitor to handle his access order.

sebastianj

I thought there might be an easier way, perhaps not. I feel sorry for my friend, I have advised him to change the solicitor.
seb