Genuine newbie, genuine question

SingleSue

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

I have been looking around here for a while for the right place to get advice but there isn't really one board that covers all the elements. As it is house-price related I thought here might be a good start and wondered if the regulars would give me an opinion on my situation.

My child is very gifted at school and currently in private education but the school only takes her until age 16 (currently nearly 14). She will be put forward for scholarship at various schools outside our immediate area (rural Suffolk) as there are no 6th form colleges nearby that are rated which means we will most likely have to move. The question is that not knowing where she will be going to school until quite near to the time we need to be living there, how do we go about it?

In our view the market will remain slow at the top end for some time as chains are still not completing so our large family house will not sell quickly so trying to buy, sell and exchange to a time limit is not something we can rely on. We aso don't want our child being disrupted around the time of starting a new school so we all need to be settled as soon as possible ideally.

In previous times we would probably have bought a new house in the preferred area and put the existing house on the market and not worried about how long it took to sell, maybe even have rented it out, but the prospect of having two expensive family houses on the go when tenants are hard to find and prices will probably drop at least another 10% is not attractive in fact it's downright scary.

Renting is not an option as we have numerous pets and also smoke so I really do not know what to do, when to do it or even where to start although my instinct is to start doing something this spring while houses are, hopefully, moving and I still have a whole year to play with so all thoughts, suggestions, ideas very gratefully received!

I'm not sure where about in Suffolk you are but I am also Suffolk.

I think the advice to ask the current school would be the way forward, they will know which would be the best place for your child from experience.

For my son, we opted for the local 6th form to us..it has pretty good ratings, less travel needed and offered the courses my son wanted to do but there were other options, Farlingaye being one which seems to get good reports from the students attending. A fair few opt for Suffolk New College but we discounted that one almost straight away.

That said, those suggestions may be way off beam depending on which area of Suffolk you are in.

Lotus-eater

Deleted_User wrote: »

Do you think that these forums are just for dumb-asses with thick kids and piles of debt?

Occasionally

treliac

Harry_Powell wrote: »

living in a mortgaged 3 bed semi and having £100k in cash savings....

Where does it say this?

LydiaJ

Deleted_User wrote: »

I'm sure you'll hate this suggestion, but I'll try it anyway. At 16 couldn't you find a nice family to take your daughter in close to her new school? She could still come home weekends. I would have thought that might even be very good for her - independance from the family whilst still being well supervised and cared for. It *could* be less unsettling knowing the family home that she's familiar with is still there any time she wants to go home.

Other than that I'm stumped. It's a tricky one and I hope it all works out well.

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

I don't hate it, in fact it's something I hadn't thought of and could buy us some time so thanks for that!

It is tricky and makes me wonder how people who move into catchment, for example, manage it because unless you are very lucky, at some point you are either going to be commuting horrible distances or disrupting the children at absolutely the wrong time or am I the only parent that worries about that sort of thing?

Have you considered getting her to try for a scholarship at a boarding school? I'm not really a fan of boarding education for the under 16s, even though I teach in an 11-18 school with a significant proportion of boarders. However, if you can afford it or get a scholarship for it, I think it can work well at 6th form level. Many boarding schools offer weekly boarding where they go home every weekend.

michaels

I live in a mortgaged (2.18%) 2 bed terrace with 280k in cash savings (paying 4%) - feeling any more incredulous yet DD?

Harry_Powell wrote: »

It's difficult not to supply financial details on a financial website, especially if you're asking for specific advice on a complex issue, and as such I don't have an issue with it. My only caveat is when someone posts details that don't stand up to scrutiny, such as living in a mortgaged 3 bed semi and having £100k in cash savings.... In those cases I'm happy to mention my incredulity.

QueenOfTheDesert

Perhaps this wasn't the best place to post after all!

All I can say to the doubters is that problems always look easy to solve from the outside but when you are stuck looking at them on the inside, no matter how intelligint you are, you tend to go round and round in a loop. I was looking for alternatives and thanks to a few posters, I now have some and many thanks for those who took the time to come up with them. Perhaps if anyone sees ulterior motives in my words it speaks more of deep-seated insecurity in yourselves rather than anything I have said.

Regarding my daughter, well high academic ability comes at a price - over-sensitivity to bullying and disruption in my daughter's case, lack of common-sense in the majority. You rarely get everything in one package!

LydiaJ

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

Perhaps this wasn't the best place to post after all!

All I can say to the doubters is that problems always look easy to solve from the outside but when you are stuck looking at them on the inside, no matter how intelligint you are, you tend to go round and round in a loop. I was looking for alternatives and thanks to a few posters, I now have some and many thanks for those who took the time to come up with them. Perhaps if anyone sees ulterior motives in my words it speaks more of deep-seated insecurity in yourselves rather than anything I have said.

Regarding my daughter, well high academic ability comes at a price - over-sensitivity to bullying and disruption in my daughter's case, lack of common-sense in the majority. You rarely get everything in one package!

Hi QueenOfTheDesert

This debate board is a bit of a rough place compared with some boards - some posters interpret the word "debate" rather robustly! But there are plenty of lovely posters too - check out the "nice people thread"! If you can develop a thick enough skin not to take the unhelpful comments personally, it can still be a great place to get advice, and to learn about lots of things. I've certainly learnt a lot since I've been coming on here.

ETA: This thread was still on the debate board when I posted this!

davilown

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

Perhaps this wasn't the best place to post after all!

All I can say to the doubters is that problems always look easy to solve from the outside but when you are stuck looking at them on the inside, no matter how intelligint you are, you tend to go round and round in a loop. I was looking for alternatives and thanks to a few posters, I now have some and many thanks for those who took the time to come up with them. Perhaps if anyone sees ulterior motives in my words it speaks more of deep-seated insecurity in yourselves rather than anything I have said.

Regarding my daughter, well high academic ability comes at a price - over-sensitivity to bullying and disruption in my daughter's case, lack of common-sense in the majority. You rarely get everything in one package!

This screams to me as an ideal situation to move her to a very good school that offers Boarding facilities. That way you'll be able to stay where you are until you have to or the right opportunity arises to move.
An ignore the posters who don't like you posting - boarding schools are a great place for children to develop.

Emy1501

QueenOfTheDesert wrote: »

I don't hate it, in fact it's something I hadn't thought of and could buy us some time so thanks for that!

It is tricky and makes me wonder how people who move into catchment, for example, manage it because unless you are very lucky, at some point you are either going to be commuting horrible distances or disrupting the children at absolutely the wrong time or am I the only parent that worries about that sort of thing?

For us it was looking at which schools were decent in the area and moving within the catchment area. For me though a school with a 50/60% GCSE pass rate was good enough because I was always going to push my child and as he is 6ft at 14 and excellent at all sport bullying was unlikely to be a problem. He is likely to get A&B's at GCSE which will be more than good enough for us.

Your situation is different though in that I suspect A* will be the expected grade in all subjects. Won't your child get a conditional place well in advance of taking her GCSE? Can't you have a back plan of a good grammer school. My wifes a primary teacher and she says it harder for kids to get into a grammer school these days certainly in our area anyway.

With regards to selling and buying I don't know your area but most large houses in good areas are selling pretty quick round our way and therefore if your house is well priced shouldn't it sell quickly?

princeofpounds

This is in totally the wrong board. It should be put up to house buying, renting and selling, and perhaps the marriages, families and relationships board (as they are better with the touchy-feely advice).

Firstly, don't panic, lots of people have been in this situation. There are several different solutions, maybe not many perfect ones, but with luck it will be fine.

- Try selling
- Try renting
- Rent out a cheap property where perhaps you and daughter can stay until large property is sold.
- Lean on friends/family to accomodate her if an option
- Ask current and new schools for advice
- Try boarding school. Might be good for a sensitive child. Bullying exists in the real world too so the complete cotton wool approach won't work, and it could give her a sense of independent life. Now that she is 16 I think you will find the really childish stuff will start to moderate. Even better if it's a boarding AND day school, so that she can go back to day schooling once you move.

Good luck anyway. I was academically able in a state school for a bit and I know of the anti-intellectual bias that is endemic. Didn't have any bullying issues thank god, but didn't mean it was always comfortable.