working student mum with redundancy looming - looking for a little advice please

ERICS_MUM

marywooyeah wrote: »

hi, I am 23 and studying for a law degree full time and I work 16 hours a week in a shop having been there for 5 years. the shop is open 9-5:30, so there is only a limited amount of hours during the day that i can work there (ie its not like I can just go in in the evening) my son goes to nursery while I am at uni and work, so since I started at uni I have been going to work on average 8 hours during the week and working an 8 hour saturday - the 16 hours allows me to claim the working tax credit childcare element. my shifts have been made around my uni hours which change each week, we get the timetables a term in advance but are subject to change, so basically each week is different for me, for example some days uni 9-10, 10-11, work 12-4, uni 6-7, this would be two days a week and then a saturday, or sometimes if I have a day off uni I would work the full day for 8 hours and then the saturday. its a tough timetable but worth the end result.
my partner works full time and I cant work saturday and sunday together cos then he moans that he is left holding the baby all weekend after being at work all week.

I was informed that the area manager is going to issue a strict timetable of shifts and that if you cant fit into those shifts then you will be made redundant. a few days ago I wrote down the shifts I can do for the next month and gave them to assistant manager, today got a text from my top manager saying "I need your uni rota asap, cant keep rotaing the rota around you", i text back saying "i gave it to phil", he texts back saying "no you just gave him a list of hours which adds up to 16".
well yeah - I work 16 hours a week! also the reason I gave him those hours is because those are the ones I can work!
got a text back saying "well i want your uni timetable (ie all the lectures and seminars) surely those arent the only hours you can work you must be more flexible than that we will have a 1-1 on saturday.

so now I am certain that I am going to be selected for redundancy, if i lose my job i lose help with childcare, if i lose childcare, i lose my degree. Also me and my partner are just about to put in an offer to buy a house, owning my own house has always been a life goal.
can anyone advise? apologies for the long post.

You didn't specifically ask for info on redundancy, but if you tell us what you would like to know about it, I'm sure those of us with the relevant experience or knowledge would be able and happy to help.

Linda

codwidow

Hi

It sounds as if your employer is being fairly flexible with you and values you as an employee so I would talk to uni and tell them your predicament, you may get more help and understanding than you anticipate.

Hats off to you for having a job and doing a law degree and a small child tho:) its great to be able to own your own home but sometimes it takes a while, I'm not trying to patronise you, its just that you seem to have a lot on and exams coming up, working plus small child and then a house sale, it adds up to a lot of stress ! Good luck to you tho

marywooyeah

codwidow wrote: »

Hi

It sounds as if your employer is being fairly flexible with you and values you as an employee so I would talk to uni and tell them your predicament, you may get more help and understanding than you anticipate.

Hats off to you for having a job and doing a law degree and a small child tho:) its great to be able to own your own home but sometimes it takes a while, I'm not trying to patronise you, its just that you seem to have a lot on and exams coming up, working plus small child and then a house sale, it adds up to a lot of stress ! Good luck to you tho

hiya I have spoken to my uni but they said even if I switched module groups the end result would be the same as the timetables are different from week to week. My manager is flexible and its only since the area manager said that there would be fixed time shifts that it has been a problem, fate must be on my side though as everything seems to be ok now. I have saved up enough (put aside all my loans and grants, my wages cover the bills and OH pays the rent) for the deposit on the house we want, plus enough for conveyancing and survey fees with a few hundred left over, then next month I get my bursary and we still have wages coming in so the dream seems to be getting closer. we rent so I dont think it will be so stressful, just the actual move if we do get approved for a mortgage, we are going this saturday to the estate agency so fingers crossed!
linda: at the end of my first post I put "can anyone advise?" I meant this as can anyone advise as to redundancy, with hindsight maybe I wasnt clear enough, thanks for your input but hopefully everything seems ok now!

Person_one

marywooyeah wrote: »

Yes I had my baby while I was working here, went back to work dec 08 and started uni oct 09, my employer was fine with me working whatever hours I wanted in the week and only saturdays. I would like to make it clear that my OH does not consider our son a burden and is not refusing to look after him at all, its just that after 5 days full time work and having him on saturdays too sunday is the only time he gets off a week. I CAN see my employers point of view, and I can see my OH's point of view aswell, I'm trying to be as flexible as possible for everyone but with the shop only open 9-5:30 and uni timetable being so erratic it is difficult to do so. the course ends in may and exams are in june, so my employer said he would speak to the area manager about the posssibility of taking someone else on a temporary contract until my exams are over so I wont have to worry about redundancy anymore.
In my first post I asked for advice on redundancy and recieved absolutely none.

If you're in uni full time and working all the hours you aren't in uni during the week, working all day Saturday and then looking after the baby on your own on Sunday because your OH won't, then when is YOUR day off? Why should he be entitled to one if you aren't? Who does the bulk of the childcare in the weekday evenings after uni/work?

Looking after children is not automatically the mum's job! 50% of your son's DNA comes from his father too!

marywooyeah

Person_one wrote: »

If you're in uni full time and working all the hours you aren't in uni during the week, working all day Saturday and then looking after the baby on your own on Sunday because your OH won't, then when is YOUR day off? Why should he be entitled to one if you aren't? Who does the bulk of the childcare in the weekday evenings after uni/work?

Looking after children is not automatically the mum's job! 50% of your son's DNA comes from his father too!

As I have already said its not that he WON'T look after him I just think it's a bit unfair on him to work five days a week and then look after our son all day for two, he needs time to relax and unwind as he works very hard.
Ask any mum, we never get any time off! even stay at home mums never stop working, theres a whole house to clean as well as childcare!

Person_one

marywooyeah wrote: »

As I have already said its not that he WON'T look after him I just think it's a bit unfair on him to work five days a week and then look after our son all day for two, he needs time to relax and unwind as he works very hard.
Ask any mum, we never get any time off! even stay at home mums never stop working, theres a whole house to clean as well as childcare!

Sorry but I think that stinks. You're BOTH parents to the baby, if Sundays are the only day you're both not busy then you need to build a bit of time in that day for BOTH of you to relax while the other looks after baby. If you do the childcare every evening too then you literally get no time to yourself while your OH gets a full day every week just to relax?

I can assure you my mother got time to herself when I was little, my dad didn't think he deserved special privileges for having a ****. My brother is about to become a dad and if he treats his partner and child in this way you can bet he'll be getting an earful about it from me!

I don't want to offend you OP, but this makes me so angry!

jdturk

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry but I think that stinks. You're BOTH parents to the baby, if Sundays are the only day you're both not busy then you need to build a bit of time in that day for BOTH of you to relax while the other looks after baby. If you do the childcare every evening too then you literally get no time to yourself while your OH gets a full day every week just to relax?

I can assure you my mother got time to herself when I was little, my dad didn't think he deserved special privileges for having a ****. My brother is about to become a dad and if he treats his partner and child in this way you can bet he'll be getting an earful about it from me!

I don't want to offend you OP, but this makes me so angry!

Not really sure why your stressing about the OP's OH, to me it sounds like its her thats not allowing him to look after child. And I hope your brother tells you where to go if you interfere in his life

jdturk

that said more fool the mums that don't get any time to themselves!

Person_one

jdturk wrote: »

Not really sure why your stressing about the OP's OH, to me it sounds like its her thats not allowing him to look after child. And I hope your brother tells you where to go if you interfere in his life

If he saw me taking advantage of my OH and shirking my responsibilities I hope he'd point it out to me! Beside the point anyway as he wasn't brought up to believe that children are 'women's work'.

The reason I am concerned about the OP's OH is that it seems like she could resolve a few of her problems quite easily if she let him take care of his own child more! I don't think its classed as 'babysitting' if you're the parent, its just 'doing your job'.

marywooyeah

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry but I think that stinks. You're BOTH parents to the baby, if Sundays are the only day you're both not busy then you need to build a bit of time in that day for BOTH of you to relax while the other looks after baby. If you do the childcare every evening too then you literally get no time to yourself while your OH gets a full day every week just to relax?

I can assure you my mother got time to herself when I was little, my dad didn't think he deserved special privileges for having a ****. My brother is about to become a dad and if he treats his partner and child in this way you can bet he'll be getting an earful about it from me!

I don't want to offend you OP, but this makes me so angry!

We do have time for each other, when our son is in bed we always spend time together each night and then I will crack on with some uni work or some housework while he unwinds. on sundays we either all head into town or the park or go for lunch etc and spend time together, throughout the day I will take DS up to the nursery to play with him and when I am cooking dinner or hoovering etc OH will go and play with him. sundays are the day when OH gets to relax and we spend time as a family, I think it would be unfair to take that away and have him look after DS all day instead. Please dont let that make you angry - far from it I look forward to it all week! I dont get much time to myself, I am obviously on my own when doing uni work but other than that I dont get much time to relax but that comes with it, going to uni full time+working+toddler+housework I knew it would be like this. It does get tiring but I went into motherhood and uni life fully aware of this.
ignore jdturk - he's clearly just another troll!