4 year old and bed time

Sublime_2

I've just been reading through your posts, and regarding the light thing, its probably either fuzzy eyes as another poster has said, or it could be reflections from car headlights on the walls.

I dislike having my kids in bed with me, but I would camp out in her room for one night just to show her there nothing to be afraid of. In our old house, my daughter used to complain about noises only she could hear, that nobody else could at night, when she was 4. You could hear our neighbours through her bedroom wall. It took me ages to convince her that it was only next door.

She has a go glow lamp now, (and one of those glo-e light up bears) and thats been really helpful as she can shine it around her room if she feels the need.

Anthillmob

saturday night wasnt helped by our detatched neighbours having one of their fights. usually we dont hear them but they must have been having a right barny.

Sublime_2

How strange is this, after replying to your post I had our 5 year old coming into our bedroom at 1am saying she had a nightmare about ghosts. Guess who ended up sleeping in our spare room with her!

I need a couple of matchsticks to prop up my eyelids this morning, as my 2 year old got up around 6am (although not early for him!). Tonight, I will make sure her go glow light is fully charged up, and have some (cough, cough!), bribes are at hand.

Whatever it takes! :cool:

poppyolivia

my goodness I think you are a saint, I would be off my rocker by now!....I usually stay calm and tell them if they do X again then the toy gets put in the bin...and I do it....I make sure they SEE me do it and it STAYS there for the binmen...don't get me wrong I've tried lots of things for different situations but that one is the best (luckily think I've only done it twice and both were for my 4 year old)..the last time he turned around and said ..don't care they were broken anyway!...I had to walk away! But at least they sit up and take notice if I use the toy in bin speech!

I'm sick eh?haha!

oh I think the idea about letting her see you take Boris down the stairs is awesome...that will hit home and get to her!

mumOf2wonderfulkids

Hi Anthill, how was last night?
DD went to bed fine last night until about 9.30 when she woke up demanding to be tucked in, i dont mind tucking her in but when she screams GET..UP..HERE..NOW i draw the line at that! so i left her to it, she finally stopped about 10 mins before i went to bed so i made sure i tucked her in then,

I think the important thing is that when they do finish their tantrums and have gone quiet thats the time to go up, i tell my daughter that she doesnt get anything screaming and when she is quiet and wellbehaved thats when she gets my attention.

do you do any kind of reward chart? we started to do one and we have a list of tasks she has to do in a week, when she completes one she gets a star in that category, when she misbehaves, she gets one taken away. at the end of the week if she has done enough she gets a small treat of her choice, or she can save that treat up to get a bigger treat. (DD is mad on build a bears so she saves them up for clothes etc)
also, if you say, ''if you do that then you wont get XXX'' you need to make sure you follow that through i never used to as i felt i was being a mean mum but now DD knows that if i say things like that then i wont follow through. I am trying to be a bit stronger on that front though, the other night i took away her favourite teddy, i know that is really mean but it really did work. ( i gave it back as soon as she behaved as a reward for behaving IYSWIM)

mumOf2wonderfulkids

poppyolivia wrote: »

I'm sick eh?haha!

I don't think so! you posted just as i was replying, and i have to say that is one of the only things that i find works!

so if you're sick then so am I hehe

poppyolivia

mumOf2wonderfulkids wrote: »

I don't think so! you posted just as i was replying, and i have to say that is one of the only things that i find works!

so if you're sick then so am I hehe

Thats good to hear haha....I am quite nice though I make sure its not their bed time toy or an expensive one!!!!lol.....I reckon its important to pick your battles too..ie he wanted to wear a home made drawn tshirt to nursery today..he looked like a tink......he was so chuffed with it..before I would have made a big deal out of him getting dressed proper (well nice)...but left him to it and he was chuffed because everyone said it was cool!!!!:rotfl:(he had it over a big wooly jumper...so stylishhhhh!!!!:o)..its getting to the point that if he wants to wear one yellow snow boot and a red one, I'd probably let him!!lol...the teachers say he's very artistic for a 4 year old...is that what they call it these days??:rotfl:

nigem

Another tip I used was to be up in the room at bedtime and say i was going to the loo....be back later;) or get DH to phone landline and say I had to answer it. Usually DS was asleep by the time I returned.

mumslave

Anthillmob wrote: »

recently our 4 year old girl has been a nightmare to get to go to bed. we have changed her bedtime to 7.30 - 8pm as opposed to 7pm.

Did she settle fine before you changed this?

Anthillmob wrote: »

she constantly gets out of bed to come down and say she has something to tell either me or daddy. usually its something inane. then she screams and cries and wants her juice bottle or her duvet isnt correct or wants 6 squares of toilet roll. and they have to be ripped off the roll neatly with no rips


and has now taken to screaming rages that wake and scare the living daylights out of her brother who is 2.

we give her the juice bottle [containing water] and the tissue for an easy life but some nights it is constant until she finally gives up and ive gotten angry [ive recntly been prescribed anti depressants].

You are giving her what she wants, therefore rewarding her for her actions. I would be inclinded to pop the juice bottle in her room incase she is thirsty, but other than that, you should take her straight back up the stairs, tell her firmly its night time, put her in bed and walk out. Keep repeating until she learns that getting out of bed and asking for things etc wont get her anywhere. Dont say anything more to her than that.

Anthillmob wrote: »

for the past 2 weeks she has mentioned 'the lights that come in her room at night'. i am inclined to believe her as she always says te same thing....they are red, blue, green and gold/yellow, they float around, sometimes sit on the wall by her bed, she is scared of them.

she has not once changed her desciprtion no matter wether you ask her at night or during the day. she remembers them.

ive told her as a last resort after other theories hve failed on what they could be [she wont have it it might be a planes lights or hellicopter or car outside etc] that they are probably fairies and we had a good chat last night about fairies and how the gold one is probably the tooth fairy just checking for wobbly teeth.

ive even told her i have a fairy at night who's called dave.

but she is still scared. not of fairies but the lights. ive not seen them. obviously.

however, i believe this house is haunted by a 'playful' spirit. there is a thread on the arms somewhere about this.

do i sound like a loon? what can i9 do?

When you are overtired and your eyes get tired, it is easy to begin to see colours/lights/auras to things, I used to as a child insomniac. Its not real, its just eyes playing tricks. She is 4 and has probably cottoned on to the fact you cant give her a proper explanation for the lights. Does she sleep in darkness or does she have a night light?

mumslave

mumslave wrote: »

Did she settle fine before you changed this?



You are giving her what she wants, therefore rewarding her for her actions. I would be inclinded to pop the juice bottle in her room incase she is thirsty, but other than that, you should take her straight back up the stairs, tell her firmly its night time, put her in bed and walk out. Keep repeating until she learns that getting out of bed and asking for things etc wont get her anywhere. Dont say anything more to her than that.



When you are overtired and your eyes get tired, it is easy to begin to see colours/lights/auras to things, I used to as a child insomniac. Its not real, its just eyes playing tricks. She is 4 and has probably cottoned on to the fact you cant give her a proper explanation for the lights. Does she sleep in darkness or does she have a night light?

My four and three year old share a room. They get their milk/story/brush teeth then its lights out. I give them half an hour, then tell them its time to sleep. If they then mess, they get three warnings. First is just a warning. Second I remove their sleep toys and yup its their favorite ones and nope I dont give it back...third I turn out the night light. I follow through what I say, even if it makes me feel like the meanest witch on the planet, but if you think having one playing you up is hard, try having a double team :rotfl: as it happens, I have never ever gotton to three, but had two on a couple of occasions.