14 yr old DD and first boyfriend advice!

waterlilyann

bikerqueen wrote:

allowed upstairs, door open.

and polish your shotgun

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Love it!

I was allowed upstairs with bf and was never told to leave door open but was far to scared to do ANYTHING as the thought of being caught was far too mortifying!! I respected my parents much more for trusting me to be sensible. I had friends who were told to keep doors open so they would just find somewhere else to get up to mischeief!! A little bit of trust goes a long way.

davsidipp

omg i remember when my dd was 14 she is 18 now. she went to an all girls private school but got in with some girls who were boy mad hence b/f started at 14 what a worry.i did let them in her bedroom but always made sure door was open and would often pop upstairs so they knew i was around but last year she told me she had first had sex at 14 what a shock it was so it may not always happen at home.on a good note she has been sensible in looking after herself so no unwanted pregnancies thank christ but a worry all the same.

misty

I'm sure it will be as big a deal for your daughter as it is for you. She may even tidy up for the occasion? Once she's taken him upstairs the first time - I would say your happy for him to be around and that you trust her. Let her little sister do her magic (interrupting and teasing etc) and then you could look like cool mum saying come down and leave them alone - are you two ok - need a drink etc -
If she's been asked out by a lot of lads and turned them down rather than saying yes for the sake of having any boyfriend she sounds like a sensible girl. He will know she has been asked out a lot too and won't want to blow it by upsetting her or you.

BrokeBrunette

thanks everyone for your replies. You've been a great help and I've had some different perspective on it all. DD informed me tonight that b/f kissed her today. She's happy and I do trust her. We are very close and I'd hope she would come to me and discuss anything that was a problem.

Oh the joys of being a mum I wouldn't be without it tho

EasilyAggravated

had this for a while. thought it appropriate

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

hope it helps :cheesy:

davsidipp

e.g very good but sod bringing a boyfriend home to your house that must put the fear of god up them

Counting_Pennies_2

EasilyAggravated, your post made me laugh, I am assuming when these rules are in force the boyfriends are scared off pretty quickly!

EasilyAggravated

oops missed two

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Quackers

I was always allowed boyfriends in my bedroom and I could shut the door

Nothing ever happened though - it was all about having respect for my Nan & grandad who I lived with.

I remember walking up the stairs with a boy in tow and my Grandads sister was there. She said she couldn't believe they were letting me upstairs with a boy - ALONE!

It always makes me laugh when I think of my Nans reply : 'if she's going to do anything she'll find somewhere to do it, they may as well be comfortable' I think that their openess made me less rushed to do anything - if that makes any sense. I was 18 before I lost my virginity!

I was lucky to have such open minded Grandparents - quite unusual for Grandparents I imagine!

I think a quick chat and trust is all that is needed.

My 14 yr old daughter is way off the boyfriend stage - I doubt it'll happen for years but I can see my younger daughter who is nearly 12 reaching this stage a lot sooner - I'm not looking forward to it!

divadee

Quackers wrote:

It always makes me laugh when I think of my Nans reply : 'if she's going to do anything she'll find somewhere to do it, they may as well be comfortable' I think that their openess made me less rushed to do anything - if that makes any sense. I was 18 before I lost my virginity!

I was lucky to have such open minded Grandparents - quite unusual for Grandparents I imagine!

I think a quick chat and trust is all that is needed.

i was just about to say if they are going to 'do' anything they will find somewhere somehow to do it!!

I think just be open and honest about things and have a nice calm not embarrasing (which will be hard i know!!) talk with her.

I think you will be fine she sounds a responsible mature lady!!

Unlike me at 14!! lol :rotfl: