depression

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Well, I don't think I am. She's different to 25 year old's I have met. Yes, she comes with alot of baggage, yes she is hard work and yes it would probably never work, but i'd like the chance to prove that wrong. I'm used to no-one liking me enough to want to be with me, why should she or anyone else be different. Like one line in the film last night "I'm too nice, maybe that's my problem"

We had a great time, and I know it's early days, I just am crazy about her, especially when she's like last night. Her face lit up when we went into the cinema, she got her popcorn and was talking about Christmas, the sadness on her face when she was talking about bad things- I just wanted to hold her and make things better, the shyness when she was scared i'd hate her if she didn't pay me back, which I wouldn't, as I adore her. My flatmate pointed out that i'd done so much for her, and 'S' appreciates all of it, she tells me all the time

I don't mind her talking all the time, well 90% of the time. I mean, when she talked about bad things, I tried to use a few experiences of mine to show her I understood etc etc, but felt bad for talking about me, as the time she had a go at me, really got to me, and I feel bad for talking now

She did invite me in, kept apologising for everything, kept thanking me for the evening etc etc. Hugged me loads, kissed me, I kissed her (cheeks! - facial!) and I text her when I got home as she wanted to know I was safe. I thanked her for this, that and everything, and she text back thanking me and told me I was great etc etc.

So 99% was great, but the 1% that may have meant nothing, always gets to me, just because I wouldn't believe anyone could actually like me for me, and everything I hear that justifies that belief, I take in.

Hopefully Christmas Day will be good, hopefully one day she'll want me, but to be honest, i've a better chance with Britney, only for the first time since Britney came on the scene, she's 2nd choice, 'S' is now the one that I want

Oh well, I guess myself and geminilady will have to make do with each other

I have heard that some men are 'too nice'

What is too nice?

I don't like men who are sexist, only after one thing and disrespectful, lazy and dirty men. Are these the sort of men most women want? I certainly don't want them and they seem so commonplace as well.

I don't men who are sychophants either, too eager and desperate.

From a woman's point of view, my ideal man would be one who was kind and considerate towards me, no matter what mood I am in. Someone who takes care of their possessions and not let their rooms/houses get very dirty. Someone who can deal with the idiots in the world without getting aggressive and certainly not one who is aggressive to me! Someone who is honest, I don't mean brutally so but liars are dreadful and when you find them out, something changes. Obviously, faithfulness is vital and I don't like men who ogle other women in your presence. Someone who does jobs without having to be nagged 100 times. I don't like smarta$$ed/childish men who try to humiliate you with petty arguments (and there are plenty of them on MSE)

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Blimey, when I go on, I really go on

I'm feeling really good about how last night went, but that small 1% makes me feel awful.

I've barely slept, up at 4.30, or at least awake.

Can't get 'S' out of my head. She is lovely.


Watching 'The Holiday', so many bits reminded me of myself, and alot of my situation with 'S', unknown to her.

I've never liked someone this much, without them liking me the same way back.....that sounds bad, but i've only really liked one person like this, and she loved me back.

I'm not saying I love 'S' that much yet, I am still confused, but these emotions are emotions I thought died when my partner did

Lifting the mood slightly.........

On Wednesday, flatmate and I were in a shop, when one of her friends noticed us - one of the many who fancy me right now (It's the fog!!!)

Anyway, they were talking about boring things, so as not to be rude and listen, I walked away slightly and looked at things on the shelf.

Her friend goes "I saw Miro first, before I saw you" - flatmate responds, then friend goes "Yeah, I saw the cute guy and had to come over"

I froze, pretending I didn't hear. I was so embarrased

Flatmate finds it highly amusing that 9 women, of which 4 are her friends - possibly 5, as I met another yesterday briefly who apparently said "positive things" about me, find me attractive :rotfl:

I find it highly amusing too

Oh well, another day to get through. I always feel like this after seeing 'S', I feel great in one way, depressed in another, knowing she'll never be my soul mate, if that's the right term. I accept the baggage, as long as she'd accept being treated like a princess.

She said "I always attract bad guys" I thought "I'm always attracted to people who don't like me"

That's enough for now, I talk too much - which is quite funny, as in real life, I don't talk much

I am wondering if you are attracted to women who are not so straightforward? A challenge. Maybe that is why some women are attracted to the 'bad guys'. I don't think S is a 'baddun' tho', more mixed up.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

It sure would be good not to have high emotions

It is the best thing, just be you. If you put on an act, she wouldn't be wanting YOU!

I'm always me. If someone doesn't want me for me, then it would be worse them wanting me for someone I wasn't, than not at all, as you say.

Long term, it wouldn't work.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I have heard that some men are 'too nice'

What is too nice?

I don't like men who are sexist, only after one thing and disrespectful, lazy and dirty men. Are these the sort of men most women want? I certainly don't want them and they seem so commonplace as well.

I don't men who are sychophants either, too eager and desperate.

From a woman's point of view, my ideal man would be one who was kind and considerate towards me, no matter what mood I am in. Someone who takes care of their possessions and not let their rooms/houses get very dirty. Someone who can deal with the idiots in the world without getting aggressive and certainly not one who is aggressive to me! Someone who is honest, I don't mean brutally so but liars are dreadful and when you find them out, something changes. Obviously, faithfulness is vital and I don't like men who ogle other women in your presence. Someone who does jobs without having to be nagged 100 times. I don't like smarta$$ed/childish men who try to humiliate you with petty arguments (and there are plenty of them on MSE)

Too nice..........erm, someone who is always the friend never the boyfriend.

Your list

Sexist - Certainly not. If I am, it's in favour of women.

Disrespectful - Certainly not. Only to myself. In fact last night, we were talking about Britney and she said when I looked at her pictures, I probably erm "touch myself" I'd say she was disrespectful, as I didn't want to hear that and she saw I was a bit offended.

Lazy - I don't think so. I do all the housework and I run around after people If Lazy is being off work due to depression and anxiety, then yes I am. Anyway, i've not body built for numerous years out of laziness

Dirty - Good Personal Hygeine is my middle names

Sycho what?

Eager & Desperate - Wouldn't say so. Eager to be loved yes, but i've never put that across to 'S'. I've always been the perfect gentleman with her - walking her home, paying for her to go places, carrying her bags, holding open doors, making sure she is alright. listening to her etc etc

Kind and considerate - always

Possessions - Every little thing is important to me

House cleanliness - Certainly. I can't stand it when flatmate leaves a mess :mad:

Idiots/aggression - I'm 6'9 and nearly as wide, yet i've never 'hit' anyone. Admittedly no-one has ever dared have a pop, but I deal with the idiots by ignoring them (or staring at them :rotfl: )

Honest - Yes, not brutally, but don't believe in lying unless it really is to protect someones feelings. Even then I feel guilty and try and break whatever it is to them.

Faithfulness - Always.

Ogle women - Not when i'm on my own, let alone with a lady :eek: I find females beautiful, but I don't make a big deal of it. I don't even like talking about Britney in front of 'S' incase she feels inferior - she's not

Jobs - Don't need asking

Smarta$$ed/childish - Not me

Sadly, this is not good enough for any women I meet

CC - if you ever become single...............

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I am wondering if you are attracted to women who are not so straightforward? A challenge. Maybe that is why some women are attracted to the 'bad guys'. I don't think S is a 'baddun' tho', more mixed up.

I admit, i'm attracted to damaged ladies - probably as I am damaged, and I think it's the only kind of lady who'd want me, plus I want to rescue them and make them happy Only this time, I really do like 'S'

'S' isn't bad like you point out, far far from it, she's absolutely fantastic, she's just very badly damaged.

I guess i'm out of luck again. I know her feelings may grow, but for me, it's the same old pattern "Nice guy, nice face, nice muscles, but......."

Where are all the nice young ladies who want to be loved, respected, cared for, treated like a princess and don't want sex from an early stage

I'm too old fashioned

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

I admit, i'm attracted to damaged ladies - probably as I am damaged, and I think it's the only kind of lady who'd want me, plus I want to rescue them and make them happy Only this time, I really do like 'S'

'S' isn't bad like you point out, far far from it, she's absolutely fantastic, she's just very badly damaged.

I guess i'm out of luck again. I know her feelings may grow, but for me, it's the same old pattern "Nice guy, nice face, nice muscles, but......."

Where are all the nice young ladies who want to be loved, respected, cared for, treated like a princess and don't want sex from an early stage

I'm too old fashioned

I wish you would stop saying I say bad things about S. I am not! I am agreeing with you that she is damaged. I don't know her and saying what I feel by reading what you write.

I care about how you feel and realise it is quite difficult for you but I AM NOT SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT HER!

It is probably a self esteem issue that you feel damaged people will be the only people wanting you. You can be there for them if you wish but it isn't going to be an easy ride! Why would you feel only damaged people would want you?

I admire you wanting to help people but you can't 'rescue' people, you can help them but they are the only ones who can really 'rescue' themselves. Women are not princesses either but we like a bit of romance sometimes. I don't know why some women don't like respect. I am the sort of woman that likes to be treated well too but we do know about reality as well. It is all about balance.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I wish you would stop saying I say bad things about S. I am not! I am agreeing with you that she is damaged. I don't know her and saying what I feel by reading what you write.

I care about how you feel and realise it is quite difficult for you but I AM NOT SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT HER!

It is probably a self esteem issue that you feel damaged people will be the only people wanting you. You can be there for them if you wish but it isn't going to be an easy ride! Why would you feel only damaged people would want you?

I admire you wanting to help people but you can't 'rescue' people, you can help them but they are the only ones who can really 'rescue' themselves. Women are not princesses either but we like a bit of romance sometimes. I don't know why some women don't like respect. I am the sort of woman that likes to be treated well too but we do know about reality as well. It is all about balance.

I think we have crossed wires again........me and my English Sorry.

I meant, like you pointed out correctly, she's not a bad person, not you said she was a bad person, i'm agreeing with you agreeing with me. I'll have to stop trying to reply to certain things as I don't type things the right way I have this problem with everyone

You've never said anything bad about her, I know that, I was just agreeing with you, just in a poorly written way, sorry

I do have low self esteem. That's the reason why I only think they would like me, and to be honest, I think damaged people are too good for me, I just don't think i'm good enough for anyone, and feel a fool sometimes for even hoping someone would like me for me.

I know I can't rescue, I just want to support and care. I'm just bad at it

Horasio

I am feeling grumpy just now

I have opened an A&L account and can't put any money in it

I hate call centres and feel annoyed by this.

Just done tons of housework, which has tired me out.

I feel like Cinderella, all work and no play. Everyone else has pre Xmas parties and I get a rainy windy trip to Wakefield to see my mother in law.

I feel really down and life is all duty and no fun. I feel I have nothing nice to look forward to. Selling houses isn't fun and what next? Will I find a place that isn't better than this hellhole. We will be downsizing, so does that mean more noise and horrible neighbours? It wasn't that bad in smaller places before. Maybe I have had bad luck for 10 years, yet our properties have been in pretty good areas.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

I think we have crossed wires again........me and my English Sorry.

I meant, like you pointed out correctly, she's not a bad person, not you said she was a bad person, i'm agreeing with you agreeing with me. I'll have to stop trying to reply to certain things as I don't type things the right way I have this problem with everyone

You've never said anything bad about her, I know that, I was just agreeing with you, just in a poorly written way, sorry

I do have low self esteem. That's the reason why I only think they would like me, and to be honest, I think damaged people are too good for me, I just don't think i'm good enough for anyone, and feel a fool sometimes for even hoping someone would like me for me.

I know I can't rescue, I just want to support and care. I'm just bad at it

I know you have a good heart

I'm feeling a bit peed off just now and felt attacked at that moment!

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I am feeling grumpy just now

I have opened an A&L account and can't put any money in it

I hate call centres and feel annoyed by this.

Just done tons of housework, which has tired me out.

I feel like Cinderella, all work and no play. Everyone else has pre Xmas parties and I get a rainy windy trip to Wakefield to see my mother in law.

I feel really down and life is all duty and no fun. I feel I have nothing nice to look forward to. Selling houses isn't fun and what next? Will I find a place that isn't better than this hellhole. We will be downsizing, so does that mean more noise and horrible neighbours? It wasn't that bad in smaller places before. Maybe I have had bad luck for 10 years, yet our properties have been in pretty good areas.

Why can you put no money in?

Christmas party? What's one of them?

New years resolution - have more fun!!!