depression

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

Why do I do it?

I had a good weekend but not got close to my husband. He was snappy to me when I answered a question he asked. Thankfully he didn't ruin the evening but I have to be on my guard. When he snaps at me, I feel sick. I didn't get married to have to keep my distance because he isn't understanding and hurts me to the core.

Life is all work, hassles, resting but no fun or closeness. It is wrong. Marriage shouldn't be that boring or miserable.

I tried to get close and told him about feeling this way. He took it as an attack and said all I do is moan. I get no empathy from him. I am the bad guy for stating how I feel, in his eyes. I am trying to hold back the tears. I felt bad enough but his reaction has really brought me down. Usually this ends up in a full scale row but left.

All I wanted was an uninterrupted cuddle without being bought down. I feel devalued and ignored by him. I am too weary for all this emotional hassle.

I am stupid for thinking we could have a cuddle and feel close without it going wrong. Stupid stupid fool I am.:(

CCStar I'm so sorry to hear this. But you are not a stupid fool at all. Why is it wrong to expect to be close and have a cuddle with your OH without fearing the consequences? Do you think relationship counselling might help at all? It's just I think you need all the support you can get right now hun... big hugs xxx

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Well, I live in the South West of England now, but it is still quite stressful. Miserable folk everywhere.

Home to me is the old Czechoslovakia. It was still Czechoslovakia when I left, so I still tend to call it that, as lived in both of what is now 2 countries, but i was born in Czech Rep side and lived mainly there, so i'm more Czech than Slovak

If that makes sense :rolleyes:

There certainly are miserable people everywhere.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

I've not been, but Prague's supposed to be a lovely city.

Praha is lovely. Never lived there, but went many times when younger. I'd probably appreciate it more now I am older.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

Why do I do it?

I had a good weekend but not got close to my husband. He was snappy to me when I answered a question he asked. Thankfully he didn't ruin the evening but I have to be on my guard. When he snaps at me, I feel sick. I didn't get married to have to keep my distance because he isn't understanding and hurts me to the core.

Life is all work, hassles, resting but no fun or closeness. It is wrong. Marriage shouldn't be that boring or miserable.

I tried to get close and told him about feeling this way. He took it as an attack and said all I do is moan. I get no empathy from him. I am the bad guy for stating how I feel, in his eyes. I am trying to hold back the tears. I felt bad enough but his reaction has really brought me down. Usually this ends up in a full scale row but left.

All I wanted was an uninterrupted cuddle without being bought down. I feel devalued and ignored by him. I am too weary for all this emotional hassle.

I am stupid for thinking we could have a cuddle and feel close without it going wrong. Stupid stupid fool I am.:(

Relationships can have strains at the best of times, but i'm not sure I could handle your OH, or at least the female equivalent.

And you're not a fool, you're nothing like me

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

CCStar I'm so sorry to hear this. But you are not a stupid fool at all. Why is it wrong to expect to be close and have a cuddle with your OH without fearing the consequences? Do you think relationship counselling might help at all? It's just I think you need all the support you can get right now hun... big hugs xxx

It is like he causes trouble to upset me then make me out to be the one to blame when I feel upset by his reaction. I am tired. I enjoyed the weekend and wanted to spend some quality time with my husband without jobs etc but oh no no no, we can't have that. Pleasure closeness isn't allowed. All jobs and boredom at best.

I spend every night alone, loneliness is better than feeling upset by his odd moods.

We have tried counselling but he rants whenever I say what is bothering me.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

There certainly are miserable people everywhere.

There are some good people too, but alot of idiots.

The good people are worth it though, I seem to be meeting some nice people at the moment.

It helps when I wake up to someone good looking, funny, nice, kind, caring and damn well perfect every morning.

My mirror is great!!!

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

It is like he causes trouble to upset me then make me out to be the one to blame when I feel upset by his reaction.

I spend every night alone, loneliness is better than feeling upset by his odd moods.

We have tried counselling but he rants whenever I say what is bothering me.

I've always found it better to be alone alone than with someone and alone. The options are far greater when alone alone.

My ex made me feel really bad, and when she left, I was gutted, but a few months later......I was glad the decision was taken from me, as i'd still have been miserable.

I'm not saying leaving him is what to do, but you can't let this continue, just because it's not making you function right, or feel as good as people should about themselves.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Relationships can have strains at the best of times, but i'm not sure I could handle your OH, or at least the female equivalent.

And you're not a fool, you're nothing like me

You are not a fool. Like me you want to be close to someone you like and get put down for it.

***Congrats on your 2000th post***

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:rotfl: i'd have started chewing on the paper :rotfl:

Miro are you actually a hamster? That's ok, i like hamsters.

Miroslav wrote:

Too tired for cheese on toast? I/we couldn't be arsed tonight either, so it was a case of chicken and stuffing sandwiches.........made by me, whilst flatmate sat on backside reading a soap magazine

Sleep is vital though, to help function..................go get some soon!!!!!

Yeah, I dunno. Normally I'd never be too tired for cheese on toast, but it's getting a bit late now, or something. Don't know what to do with myself, tbh. Brain's gone. Maybe some toast. Toast's good.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

I've always found it better to be alone alone than with someone and alone. The options are far greater when alone alone.

My ex made me feel really bad, and when she left, I was gutted, but a few months later......I was glad the decision was taken from me, as i'd still have been miserable.

I'm not saying leaving him is what to do, but you can't let this continue, just because it's not making you function right, or feel as good as people should about themselves.

It is true. I haven't been able to be myself for years. My mother is the same and I end up marrying someone with the sensitivity of a flea and he accuses me of being the nasty one. He can't hurt me then expect me to be cuddly. It feels vile.

Why can't I have someone who is caring and not hurtful?