what to do

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Probably things are a bit too much at the moment to be feeling all mushy about something that is probably making her feel like chucking up every five minutes and is only serving as be one more thing to worry about. I was never one to emotionally attach to a blob on a tv screen, unlike practically everyone else on the planet (or so it seemed at the time). Feeling the movements was what did it for me.

Have worked for a consultant obstetrician at the local hospital who specialised in diabetic pregnancies, together with the senior diabetes bloke. If mum is sensible and follows their advice, etc, his words were 'It's obviously easier not to be diabetic, but the vast majority of cases, whether type I, type II or gestational diabetes, result in perfectly happy, healthy babies and mums. But mums have to actually listen to what we tell them.' (The number of diabetic mums chomping away on chewy sweets and MacD's whilst handing their older toddlers a can of Coke to drink, waiting for their latest growth scan results was scary)

Unfortunately, people don't get to see the experts and see that they wouldn't necessarily advise termination until long after the cutoff times for a simple procedure have gone. That then puts pressure on them to make the decision much earlier, without the input which could make all the difference.

Asking for an early consultation with the senior obstetrician with a special interest in diabetic pregnancy might be a plan - it is possible before 12 weeks if you ask - I know because I used to arrange the appointments for mine!

mrcow

smily wrote: »

my partner knows my views on termination,and we have had a deep talk,the main reasons for her feeling confused is that she does not feel anything toward it like she did our first one ,she has just found out about the other problem so that is worrying both of us she is having test at the moment but early signs are it is not as bad as first thought she is worried about money but nothing has changed there

All preganancies feel different. I wouldn't say that not "feeling anything" at this stage is a sign that the baby wouldn't necessarily be wanted or loved.

Obviously talking things through as you are is the best way to go. And taking it each step at a time. If she's waiting for test results right now, perhaps get these out of the way and so there is a clear picture of exactly where you stand.

Also - money wise - perhaps sit down and go through what the actual concerns are. They may be real concerns or they may just be down to a fear of the unknown.

It sounds like you are being very supportive - and I can say is keep it up. Your partner sounds like she has mixed feelings. The best thing you can do is just be 100% honest about how you feel and carry on being supportive.