How to deal with neighbours?

amalis

Hi all,
as a new houseowner I am a bit confused about how to communicate with my new neighbours? We just bought an apartment in a house where there is one more flat (ours is ground floor, their is first floor). Since we moved we did not have any contact with our new neighbours which is weird for me because we live in same building. We obviously have a lot of question to ask them. So what should I do? I my previous flat when we moved, it was the neighbour who was living there came and invited us for a bottle of wine. What are the rules in this case?

katholicos

amalis wrote: »

Hi all,
as a new houseowner I am a bit confused about how to communicate with my new neighbours? We just bought an apartment in a house where there is one more flat (ours is ground floor, their is first floor). Since we moved we did not have any contact with our new neighbours which is weird for me because we live in same building. We obviously have a lot of question to ask them. So what should I do? I my previous flat when we moved, it was the neighbour who was living there came and invited us for a bottle of wine. What are the rules in this case?

I don't believe there are any rules to follow. You do what feels natural. If you feel uncomfortable about not being introduced to your neighbours, then just take a couple of minutes out of your day to knock on their door and introduce yourself. You could use the bad weather as an introduction. Mention that you didn't know who the other home-owner was and that you wanted to make sure they were okay as it is so difficult for many people to get to the shops in this weather etc.

If i were your neighbour i would appreciate someone taking the time to introduce themselves to me and show concern for my well-being.

lilac_lady

There are no rules. If you wait until you meet them naturally and are polite to them, hopefully you will get along fine. Not everyone wants to invite neighbours into their home as they may be private people or had a previous bad experience of neighbours. Smile and say hello - if they don't respond, you'll know where you stand. Hope they're ok to live under!

amalis

They seems like a fine family. We almost dont see them and they said hello only once. The other times they just walked faster if we were to close the door at same time. But it seems they had good relations with the previous owners of our flat.. Bizzare.

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Farway

I think it depends where you live in country, in the South [me] we tend to mind our own business, in North I believe more open [or nosey?]

How about knocking on door and asking when dustbin day is or suchlike?

Dave101t

you have quiet neighbours? dont disrupt the status quo!

amalis

Farway wrote: »

I think it depends where you live in country, in the South [me] we tend to mind our own business, in North I believe more open [or nosey?]

How about knocking on door and asking when dustbin day is or suchlike?

we are in london.

about the dustbin it will not work because we live there already for 2 month..

amalis

Dave101t wrote: »

you have quiet neighbours? dont disrupt the status quo!

well, it would be nice if we could rely on our neighbours to receive parcels if we are not at home ,etc.

Bogof_Babe

amalis wrote: »

well, it would be nice if we could rely on our neighbours to receive parcels if we are not at home ,etc.

That's probably the sort of thing they are worried about. Just because you share a roof it doesn't mean you have to be any more approachable than if you lived in adjacent detached houses.

I had a false idea before moving into our (holiday) flat, that we would all get along like mates, even have barbecues together! In reality there is only one other resident I speak to, and then only when there is an issue like someone else parked in the wrong space or over-filling the wheely bins.

I am barely on nodding terms with the resident of the other currently occupied flat (two in the building are empty). This is because we have absolutely nothing in common (he's a solitary living rather anti-social guy who pollutes the communal areas with his cigarettes) and I have no wish to encourage any familiarity with him.

erichamster

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

That's probably the sort of thing they are worried about. Just because you share a roof it doesn't mean you have to be any more approachable than if you lived in adjacent detached houses.

I actually think when you live in flats you are actually much less likely to talk to/know your neighbours. It seems silly because you live so much closer to the people but maybe its something to do with people being more likely to move etc from flats, rather than settle for a long time?

Or maybe when you live closer together people are more inclined to not come across as too nosey or intrusive? That is certainly how it seems in our flats anyway.