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Dilemma

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Comments

  • Becles
    Becles Posts: 13,172 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'd view it as stealing and would tell my children off if they did something like that.

    We had a bowl of Roses and Miniature Heroes on the coffee table over Christmas which they knew were for anyone and they were allowed to dip into those. However boxes of chocs that hubby and me were given have been put up on a shelf in the utility room, and they have all their Christmas present sweets in a big gift bag each. They'd be in trouble if they took anything off the shelf, and we wouldn't dream of taking anything out of their bags unless the owner offered them round.
    Here I go again on my own....
  • Fluffi
    Fluffi Posts: 324 Forumite
    You say he's a good kid and also that your wife doesn't view it as stealing ... therefore I wouldn't do anything.

    Maybe your wife hinted to the child that he might be able to have some of the sweets (although probably not half) but when she got your text saying you were "disappointed' she didn't want to admit to having said this because you were upset.

    You are never going to know what exactly was or wasn't said between them so I wouldn't be in a hurry to start punishing anyone for stealing.
  • busiscoming2
    busiscoming2 Posts: 4,459 Forumite
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    I think he was wrong to go into your bedroom and take them from there. I think most kids would have just taken some out of the jar in the hope no one would notice! He obviously doesn't see it as a problem taking somethng of yours or your partners without asking. I think you should mention this aspect to him and say it is unacceptable. I am sure if you had taken his sweets (or whatever) from his room he would think differently.
  • LegalBlonde
    LegalBlonde Posts: 1,183 Forumite
    I don't want this to come across as nasty I totally understand why you posted on here and why you needed some advice in how to approach a potentially sticky situation with your OH and their child - a common problem.

    But let's step back a minute - if this counts as a dilemma in your life, your time would be better spent counting your blessings x
    Debt Free Wannabe by 1 January 2016 :o


    Jan 2015 GC £520/£450
    Feb £139/£450
  • cheepskate_2
    cheepskate_2 Posts: 1,669 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If as is said the son is in general a good lad, then i find it a bit puzzling why he would go into the room and just take something he knows is not his,

    Has he always been allowed to do this by mum before you moved in, if so then there is no problem here, just a new set of rules needing made
  • dieselhead
    dieselhead Posts: 599 Forumite
    I'm wondering (it might not be this at all) if maybe his mother has given him permission to take the jar as £40 worth of sweets is going to be a lot for anyone to eat. My mother has given me some of her chocolate before when she is watching her figure, admittedly not when the person who bought them for her would know, and even the secretary at work was only saying today that she had had so many boxes of biscuits and chocolates for Christmas that she had given some to her grandchildren.

    What I'm getting at is, is it at all possible that your wife has given your son permission and is now feeling a bit guilty about it as she hadn't realised how upset you would get?
    2009 wins: Cadburys Chocolate Pack x 6, Sally Hansen Hand cream, Ipod nano! mothers day meal at Toby Carvery! :j :j :j :j
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,335 Forumite
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    I would buy him some more sweets, and when you give them to him, say that in future, if he wants something, you'd prefer it if he asks rather than going into your bedroom and taking things that belong to someone else.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
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