The Ultimate Incentive to have an amazing 2010.

Dinah93

Hopefull you will get this place Tete, but if not thats really good news about your OH being willing to look elsewhere - clearly getting this close has made him just as excited to be moving in together (and he's clearly realised thats about you, not the old beams or fireplaces!)

Worked out why we had a swimming pool. Around the conservatory is a gutter, around the outside of this is a board which rises about 20cm up to hide it, the board goes under it too and basically boxes it in. However at no point is there a downpipe from this gutter - so the water filled the gutter, filled the board, then washed back over the roof! So we need to put a downpipe in and hopefully this will fix the issue.

I agree Tete, kids is a much bigger commitment than marriage, I think you phrased it better in one sentance with the 'marriage is something that you put off and off' than I did in my mini essay!

clearmydebts

I wanted to get married before having a family because I wanted to enjoy spending time with my OH as a married couple, before settling down and having babies. I do also think there is the added security if you are married.

Also when you get married before having a baby then you can really indulge on the day and your dress etc etc. I loved every minute of planning my wedding but there is no way I would have had the time to plan if Max was here. Priorities change when you have a baby and you would feel guilty about spending so much on a wedding dress as I could think of all the clothes and toys that Max could have. The baby always come first now, which is the way it should be.

Only one of my friends had children before marriage. Her BF proposed and they are getting married this year but she says she isn't excited at all. She is probably thinking of all the other ways the money could be spent.

For me, I wanted my wedding to be a special occasion with all my family and closest friends, and it was. Having said that, I do think there is something nice about your children being able to be part of your big day. It just wouldn't be for me.

Lara44

Ahh Cinny, Flower and Swinstie! that's lovely news about future weddings.

That's very sweet your OHs are broody, and exciting to plan a family. I feel a bit broody too, but I have fieldwork in Uganda this year and our wedding next summer, and then I think it's quite nice to have a bit of time after being married before kids. So it will be a while I'm sure. But I think there's also a good argument for having your kids first and pursuing your career after.

I don't think you need to be married first. There are also I think a lot of cheaper ways to do a wedding. We have a budget of £6000 for wedding and honeymoon and that's in London where the average hire is £3500 +VAT - so I definitely think you could get this down to a more manageable amount and have a very nice day.

Cinny91

Still keeping my fingers crossed about the house Tete! That's great what your OH said though, finally came to his sense!

Didn't mean to start a mini debate, I was just saying what I thought All I meant was if we were to have a little Ralph before we did get married, it wouldn't make me feel any less secure in the fact we would get married one day. But then all couples are different.

Flower08

clearmydebts wrote: »

Also when you get married before having a baby then you can really indulge on the day and your dress etc etc. I loved every minute of planning my wedding but there is no way I would have had the time to plan if Max was here. Priorities change when you have a baby and you would feel guilty about spending so much on a wedding dress as I could think of all the clothes and toys that Max could have. The baby always come first now, which is the way it should be.

Never thought of it like that, bet it wuld be a nightmare trying to plan a wedding when you have a baby to look after!
I'd like to think that OH doesnt think he has been with me long enough that we dont need to bother getting married, i'll drag him down the isle :rotfl:

Dinah - hope you manage to get the gutter problem fixed fairly cheaply!

Tete_en_l'Air

Sounds like you'd have been better off if there were no gutter at all!

clearmydebts wrote: »

I wanted to get married before having a family because I wanted to enjoy spending time with my OH as a married couple, before settling down and having babies.

Yes that's how I feel! And I'd like to be able to selfishly devote time to planning a wedding and enjoying the day without having to worry about what my kids are doing.

So with all these weddings in the offing do we have any DOTDs?? I love having a good nosey!

Dinah93

Forget kids stopping me planning it, my worst fear would definately be the cliched empire line dress to attempt to hide a bump! I was at the doctors for a blood test the other day and she asked when my last period was, and I realised it was 7 weeks ago (8 weeks now) but I'm just thinking its going to be down to stress especially since I had the operation in the middle of it. I refuse to consider any other options tbh, plus I do tend to get irregular when I'm stressed.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Forget kids stopping me planning it, my worst fear would definately be the cliched empire line dress to attempt to hide a bump! I was at the doctors for a blood test the other day and she asked when my last period was, and I realised it was 7 weeks ago (8 weeks now) but I'm just thinking its going to be down to stress especially since I had the operation in the middle of it. I refuse to consider any other options tbh, plus I do tend to get irregular when I'm stressed.

I'm sure it is stress.

My friend that is getting married in August told me that she is 8 weeks pregnant, will be 12 weeks on the day. She is the one with 2 other kids though so she is okay about it

Dinah93

3 months you can still fit in the dress though - I'm talking a clear and present 6-8 month mega-bump where the dress has a 2 ft modesty panel added in the back.

I saw a friend last night, I need to apologise to her really as I was so skittish last night, couldn't even make it to the end of a sentence before I started on a new one, think being at home so long is starting to make me loose my marbles.

Swinstie73

Dinah93 wrote: »

Forget kids stopping me planning it, my worst fear would definately be the cliched empire line dress to attempt to hide a bump!

Damn, and here was I going to show you the dress I want

Kids are not featuring with us, mainly because OH has been married before and has an 18yr old son and I'm not maternal at all, love my five nieces and nephews but have never felt the urge - that and I'm getting too old (also have only been with OH for 3 years so want to spend our time just being us IYSWIM!). It would've been different 5 or so years ago.