Feeling lonely and isolated

choille

It's quite a bad time of year - everyone seems to be having so much more fun, but it's a myth often.

It does seem to be hard to make friends & I think harder if you're not into a clique through work or still living where you went to school possibly.
You have to go to things that interest you - join things I suppose. It's sort of putting yourself out there to meet like minded folks.

Sorry to hear of your upbringing JMW77. I hope that you find that things get easier for you as you are really brave. People probably think you're shy or a little snooty - it can come across that way if your shy, you just have to concentrate on the other person & perservere. It is difficult.

Alyth - Sorry you are having a rubbish time. Good for you going to college & working away. The weather is harsh up here too & being in a caravan has it's crap moments when it's so cold.
I don't really like this time - XMas & New Year & I think that I'll feel better when it's all over & there's a bit more daylight.

Savvy_Sue

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I don't feel like I have the energy to start going out in the evenings (once I get in at 5pm, I cook our dinner, feed the lil un and put her to bed - this is "my" time with her, so don't really want bf to do it - and then watch a lil bit of telly or do a bit of craft stuff or go on the internet).

Just a question, but does your bf get any 'him' time with your little girl? Only if he doesn't, I'd encourage it to happen at least once a week if you want things to change. And would having some '3 of us' time help your relationship? All 3 of you giggling at bath time can be a great bond.

And then maybe you could see if you can find an evening class to fit in with your crafting tastes. Just once a week, could make a world of difference.

mouche

Moving here from a different country 4 years ago meant I left all my friends behind and found it very hard to make new ones. I'm not really into the drink after work socialising and since I live in London Zone 6 and work in Zone 1, I prefer to get home at a reasonable hour.

The only friends I have managed to make are through gumtree and while I have made three excellent friends through it, I had to go through a lot of weirdos before I found them! That might be an option for you. Or you could try joining a group of your interest through meetup.com. There are shedloads of them in London and you're sure to find one you like. I'm quite shy and find it hard to deal with unfamiliar groups so I couldn't make friends there but it might suit you. Try a local class or a reading group through your local library.

It's not easy but everyone needs friends - good luck!

fabforty

JMW77 wrote: »

Does that ever happen to anyone else you write a long message and then post reply and somehow you have been logged out.
Its so annoying!!

Happens all the time - I lost numerous posts that way and had to re-type it :mad:. The trick (I have since learned) is to copy the message (as in 'copy and paste' - you need to hi-light your post, left click the mouse and select copy) before hitting the 'submit reply' button.

If you find that you have been logged out, you simply log back in, then use the 'back' key to return to the place where you had originally typed your message. Your message will have disappeared, but instead of retyping the whole thing, left click the mouse and then select 'paste'. The messsage that you copied will now be pasted in.

JMW77

Thankyou for that i shall try and learn that if i can still not sure how to copy and paste but will see if i can do it.
Thankyou

JMW77

Dear Alyth,
Thanks i will try to give it a go,but i just wanted to say i really feel for you ,you must be quite a strong person although i know we all have to be even when its hard.
Hope your parents are there for you i know you said they are away for christmas,but i hope you are a close family sound like you need them around. Look after your dog i'm sure he adores you and is always there for you, i bet hes really lonely when your out sounds like a lonely place to live.Ive been up with mine who have been really upset with the fireworks tonight.
Happy New Year.

KiKi

Hi there Pollyanna - didn't want to read and run.

Two things that immediately spring to mind:

a) join Facebook and get back in touch with your school friends from those WHOLE ten years ago! I left school 14 years ago, and there's nothing nicer than finding an old good school friend, getting back in touch, chatting on FB for a bit and meeting up again. You might be surprised at how pleased people are to hear from you, and if you don't try, you'll never know.

b) Although you have your time with your daughter every evening, you could sacrifice one evening a week or fortnight (esp as you have weekends with her, too) and join a club like a book club, craft club or something that interests you to meet some real people who are likeminded. I started an OU course this year and although there's minimal interaction with RL people, I do enjoy the study and meeting up when we do have classes together. I've also joined the gym and gotten to know the personal trainers and other people there who are now friends.

I hope that helps. The worst thing you can do is fall into a pattern of self-pity: feeling that no-one will ever like you, then deliberately make your friendship experiences miserable, and then when those people get fed up and walk away say "I knew that would happen" and get into a vicious cycle of it. I've been there, and made myself unhappy for years until I got off my backside and chose to change my attitude! It doesn't sound like you're doing that at all, so well done, as it's very easy to do - just a warning in case you do find yourself ever feeling like that!

I hope you can find a way to make new friends soon.

KiKi