My 18 year old daughter wants to leave home

clutton_2

so glad you worked out a solution... i left home at 17 and never regretted it.. i think it gives you a sense on self-sufficiency and independence which follows you through life

as a LL i have given tenancy agreements to 18 year olds and was advised it was quite legal..... dont know where you got the 21 from,....

i have a 19 year old on Local Housing Allowance as a tenant at the moment

poppysarah

Never heard of a "parenting consultant" - sounds fascinating!

BitterAndTwisted

Honestly Tessa, I really believe you have done absolutely the right thing. The challenge in the real world of grown-up relationships is facing and resolving problems, not being given the tools to run away from them and the funds to do it as well. Giving someone everything they want when they want it is not a good way to teach them how to live competently and independently.


Good for you!

clutton_2

i left home to go to college and got a grant of such a tiiiiiiiny amount you would laugh if i told you ... to subsidise myself i got a Friday/Saturday job in a cheese shop and worked as a cashier at night..... lurved it....

tessa0032

LydiaJ wrote: »

Can I just add a word from a teacher's point of view?

Living independently is incredibly time consuming - shopping, cooking, cleaning, putting the bins out on the right day, dealing with the paperwork to pay the bills, etc all take more time than she probably thinks they will. Working to support yourself is very time consuming too. If she was in my A-level set, I'd definitely be advising against this, I'm afraid - it would put her at a huge disadvantage compared with all the rest of the A-level candidates across the country who get most of these things done for them.

I'm the original poster - I went to a parenting consultant and got some help with how I felt about Anna not doing loads of homework, etc. And now she's living here and everything's fine - I've stopped nagging and she IS doing the work she wants to do. But I wanted to thank Lydia, I think of you every day when I shop, cook, put the bins out, clean - at least an hour a day of that stuff in our lives - I am so glad that I am able to do this for my daughter for her last six months here. Thank you for putting it in that way. I'm so thankful I get the opportunity to do it!

princessamy86

Ah it's nice this had a happy ending. I got thrown out at 17, no money, and only a part time job-got thrown out in the September before I did my A levels. Having to work all weekend plus 4 nights a week in a pub did me absolutely no favours, and due to other problems at the time I pretty much ended up having a nervous breakdown. I think you've absolutely done the right thing to work through it with your daughter, I'm sure she'll appreciate it in years to come. You sound like a brilliant mum!