lilmissmup - the 2010 chapter!

benbenandme

I had a nosy too and yep, he's lovely

lilmissmup

Mmmm he chatted for a bit then disappeared only spoke bout work so couldn't have offended him!!!!

Oh well have to see if he adds me to msn as i sent him my addy for that on message as chat being odd anyway.

lilmissmup

Well Batmans friend seems to have lost interest for sure, didnt reply to me again and tried to talk last night and got told he was cooking tea then ignored again....:rolleyes:

Just wonder what the point in adding me on there was, must have seen some dodgy pics of me

Anyway fess up time again, spoke to the ex again last night, he msged me on msn, I don't have him as a friend but hes not blocked either.

Was all pretty much the same again, he still likes me but doesn't know what he wants from life, I told him I had joined match.com etc and he said he didn't want to loose me and would think about things and email me and not to give up on him just yet.

Then I got the email 4hrs later and it was still pretty much the same, how part of him wants me back but he thinks I should find someone with more drive etc.

I got a bit upset again, when we speak I still tell him I want him back and its not fair of me either when I know I don't really, it wouldnt work, I have realised last couple months I do love him but he is right really if he doesn't want the same things from life as me its best we aren't together.

So I feel a bit guilty for telling him I wanted a coffee to talk about us cos I don't really, and hes never gonna change into the man I need as much as I want him too .

I still love him though and when it speak it triggers that in me still so I guess thats why we both act the way we do sometimes. Him saying he still misses me and loves me doesn't help either of us really as I want to believe him but think hes forgetting the reasons he left because he is lonely.

I feel a tad guilty for talking to him I should have been stronger and just said hi and bye really cos he said he was crying again and if thats true I don't wanna do that to him, he did hurt me a lot after we split but I am over that now and just want him to be happy cos I care bout him.

Part of me doesn't understand/believe how he can say hes so upset still six months after leaving me but not want me back and want the same things as me..

So yeah wobbles galore again right now.:o Wish I didn't have them.

Need that hunky twin to email me and cheer me up a little!

Souk08

Morning lady, obviously the ex still misses your company but that doesn't mean you should go back to him. TBH it's not his decision to tell you not to give up on him. You can't hang about waiting for him. You're obviously in different places with regards to what you want in life and that can't be changed. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be 'settled' at his age and that doesn't make him a bad person, just not the one for you. Think you need to go cold turkey as you are great until you two have contact then it just sets you back. If it was your mate who kept doing this then you would tell them the same. We all have wobbles but if you always get them after a certain thing then you just have to stop doing that thing. I did this with my ex. When he first went back home we called each other in tears and I did miss him but ultimately I was NEVER going to want to be the wee wifey with the house in the country, the kids and the animals so ultimately we just stopped contact as it wasn't helping either of us. He was then free to get back to finding younger girls who would do what he wanted and I could have fun/a life again. Love and hugs to you lady XXXX

lilmissmup

Ah souk08 my mse buddy who is oh so wise!

As I said he started the chat but your completely right and I don't want that to happen and I know I don't want him back, sadly he does tug at my heartstrings though still!

Everyone is different like you say hun, it wasn't that I even wanted a baby straight away when we split in July, I wanted him to agree to buying a house (which he also wouldnt do, not fully anyway) and then have a baby once we did that in two-three years so by then we would have been together about 9 years and I don't think thats unreasonable.

I don't think him being 30 (31 in 3 months) is too young to have a house and baby but again others would think differently.

I was 18 when we met so I have moved along thinking things would progess but he was happy to stay in the relatioship until I wanted to move it along.

I told him last night that I know what I want now from life and if he can't give that to me than thats fair enough.

I am trying to avoid contact as much as possible, still don't have his number nor does he have mine but I jst can't block him from emails etc, I know I should but I can't yet.

I am trying to move on though, promises!

Souk08

Not getting at you honey, you know that. You just want different things and that's that. 30 is not too young to have a house or baby IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT but it is if that's not what you want! You're not being unreasonable but you cant MAKE someone want something they don't. Believe me, loads of younger guys want all that and I've met quite a few of them. Obviously there no good to me and you're too far away but :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.
XXX

lilmissmup

Move to England, you talk sense!!! I need you nearer for my wobbly days.

Your my Kiki!!!

Souk08

Kiki? Eh????

lilmissmup

Did you read that book u recommended me? Kiki was her friend who was funny and had lots of FWB!

Souk08

Oh yes! Now I understand. X