Divorce, advice desperately needed!

BitterAndTwisted

At the very least you should not have to sell the house until the youngest child comes of age and that is a very, very long time away. What are you gong to buy to house you and your three children with 60% of the current property's equity and only working part-time? I believe that CSA rules means that he should be paying you 20% of his gross pay but his having the children stay over with him for nearly half of the week will impact on that.

Please, DO NOT negotiate away your share of his pension!

stef240377

My husband went through a divorce beginning of the year and was told by his solicitor they would not push for absolute until financial side was resolved and monies in relevant accounts (this is something that the courts here stick buy and reject applications if they can see financial issues have no agreed outcome). He also had a works pension and his ex didnt, she was happy to surrender any entitlement to it providing she could buy his share of the house, she played hard ball so much that by the time she signed any paper work his settlement amount had dropped by about 60% due to the collapse of the housing market. Luckily in there circumstances there were no children involved cos she would have played dirtier.

Dh was also told the amount in mortgage and bills he paid after leaving the property and she was residing there alone would also be offset against any payments he would receive as it was unfair he should be paying a rent and c/t on one property and mortgage andc/t on another.

loftus

Doing some very basic, back of envelope calculations £200 per month is roughly what the CSA would require is he is earning around £27-28k - if he earns more than this you are being short changed.

If you are getting no pension share then the equity split needs to be more in your favour - depending of course on what his pension is like and how much equity is in the house. People can't just make general statements on a likely settelment without this information. Unless he has lots of other assets then I don't see you getting all the house and some of the pension. Only you know what is important to you but, as others have said, don't disregard the pension share lightly if you have no other provision of your own, jam today isn't always the best option.

daska

Have you actually asked your solicitor what you are entitled to and listened to the answer? What did he say?

If it's something you're entitled to then your ex isn't allowed to refuse point blank - he's bullying you and your solicitor should be doing a better job of protecting you.

treading_carefully

i suppose a key factor here is how much equity is in the house now and what his pension is estimated to be worth at retirement. The figures can be crunched from there.

nicolajaynepeasley

Pension wise i'm not sure what it amounts to, the house is on the market for £240.000 & we have a mortgage of £100.000. I have aready given him a large proportion of the home furnishing to allow him to furnish his rented accom. I did that for our children as i really do not want our children to suffer anymore than they already have. Income wise the affair he had happened at work & was frowned upon so to enable him to stay within the company he was side stepped to another dept & had to take a substancial pay cut.

Mips

nicolajaynepeasley wrote: »

Pension wise i'm not sure what it amounts to, the house is on the market for £240.000 & we have a mortgage of £100.000. I have aready given him a large proportion of the home furnishing to allow him to furnish his rented accom. I did that for our children as i really do not want our children to suffer anymore than they already have. Income wise the affair he had happened at work & was frowned upon so to enable him to stay within the company he was side stepped to another dept & had to take a substancial pay cut.

He cheated on you after you gave him 21 yrs of marriage and 3 children - and you want to be fair?

Fair is getting everything you can out of the [EMAIL="b@stard"]b@stard[/EMAIL] for the sake of your children.

Dog eat dog world. If it was him, do you think he would be so considerate of your feelings?


You want his pension and you want as much as you can out of him. Take the good advice given or you will live to regret it, as has already been said.

zzzLazyDaisy

Have you only recently started thedivorce proceedings? The reason I ask is because both of you have to fill in a form giving details of income, pension, savings, value of the house and so on, and produce bank statements, P60, a statement of value from the pension scheme, etc. You can't come to a formal legal agreement without this information. Which makes me think that maybe you are still in the early stages of the divorce?

You need to put to one side in your mind any voluntary agreement that you came to with your ex because it was made without legal advice and is not binding. You need to let your solicitor do his/her job, and listen to what they have to say.

The law says that you are entitled to a share of his pension. It really isn't open to him to refuse to divulge this information, or to refuse to give you any of his pension - that is part and parcel of the divorce whether he likes it or not. What you can do however, is to accept a larger share of the house in return for not making a claim on his pension. This is very common, but that calculation can't be done without first having information about his pension.

I agree with the others. Until the decree absolute, you are still his wife in law. That means that if he died you have all the normal rights of a widow, including the right to a widows pension, and possibly a death in service lump sum. If you finalise the divorce before the financial settlement is reached, you risk being left with no maintenance and no pension.

diable

When I was divorced my wife and I went for 60/40 split whit her getting the larger part, she could have got 70/30 but we had managed to settle everything ourselves. I was also paying more than £200 month for the children so I would make sure that you are financially sound for your sake and the sake of the children.

As mentioned previously you only want what is yours fair and square so don't be short changed.

diable

ahhhh and if posting asking for advice make sure any forum names are not traceable as the other half could be lurking.