19 and in debt already.

tayler_remi

Hi all.

I'm posting on here because my money problems are starting to overwhelm me. I know many of you are probably in thousands of pounds of debt and think that what I am experiencing is nothing but I have always been wise with my money since I was little however in recent years I have developed bi-polar disorder and have become reckless and thoughtless with money.

I have a few major money issues. The first being that, in September, I decided it would be a great idea to go and get a new phone. They told me if I paid off the old contract and took on a new contract I could get a new phone. Being reckless like I was, I happily signed the contract and off I went. However the OLD contract was in my mum's name from before I was 18. Weeks went by and, as a student, I had no source of income and couldn't pay off the phone. About 2 months later, my Mum got a call from Orange saying not only did SHE owe them the money for paying off the old contract but also a £300 phonebill that I ran up from when I went to India for 3 weeks. She called me up calling me every name under the sun as she was so hurt and felt so betrayed. I just felt numb, I couldn't believe what I had done to my mum and my family. So now I'm trying to pay it off - I've already paid £150 of it off so that's £150 left. I'm also now stuck with a £50 a month phonebill - that's £40 contract and £10 insurance. I'm stuck with it for 18 months. Can I downgrade? I'm with Vodaphone.

The second is also to door with my poor Mum - she gave me £250 for a deposit on my flat which I need to pay back. So that's another £250. She also sent me regular payments of £30 for food probably nearly every week. I have now moved back home and was away for 3 months so call that about £350.

The third is to do with my ex boyfriend. He was a long term boyfriend so when we went to Turkey in the summer he lent me some money to pay for food etc whilst we were away. We split up recently and he wants his money back. I owe him £115 and need to give it back asap. I would love to be able to give it back to him when I go to give him back his stuff a few weeks in to January because then I don't owe him anything.

The fourth and final one is my rent. Part of bi-polar is that you're reckless with money and often have an addiction to spending. This is certainly the case with me, and for two months I spent my rent money (that my parents sent me) on clothes, alcohol etc etc. The third month I was living back at home but obviously still need to pay the rent and so on. I received a horrible letter recently with a big red 'overdue' notice on it and freaked out, even though I knew I hadn't paid my rent. I'm moving out anyway and the next installment is going to be cancelled on account of ill health (I came close to a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago) so that's being dealt with. The total debt for this is £1167.

I don't have a job, but I do receive income support and DLA. I receive £280 of DLA a month and £280 of income support a month. I don't have to pay for rent or food as I'm living with my Mum at the moment (she's an absolute angel) but obviously I'm 19 and want to start going out again and enjoying myself after the bout of depression I've just had. However I desperately want to pay all my debt off.

When I applied for income support in October, they told me I could have up to 3 months backdated as I was sick during the summer - even though I requested it this backdate never came through and obviously I desperately need it as it means I can pay off a lot of my debt. It'd be about £1500 in total, but I don't know how to go about getting this back and even if I'll even get it back now even though I was promised on the phone that so long as my backdated request was aproved, I'd get it. I can supply them with medical letters and everything to prove I was ill, even.

Anyway, thanks for reading - I just had to get this off my chest and put it on to paper, so to speak. Any opinions or advice would be appriciated. Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and rich(!) new year! x

firestronaut

I suffer from bi-polar too, and also go off the rails with my spending from time to time.

I would phone income support and ask them about the payment - I used to chase up my backdated payments every two days.
I would also ask them about ESA - Employment and Support Allowance. I recieve this due to my bi-polar and being in reciept of DLA. I recieve just over £100 a week on this.

I would explain your illness to the people you owe money to and arrange a payment plan that suits you both. This approach usually works, especially if you explain there's no way you can pay it in a lump sum. Taking you to court over the debt will just result in costs for both them and you, and will result in a payment plan anyway. Since you live with your mum, you can claim you don't have any possessions and baliffs would be useless.

I'm not sure about Vodaphone, but I'm in the same boat with Orange. I'm going to ask them to downgrade my plan in the new year, explaning I'm in receipt of benefits and I'm struggling with other debts and being a single mum.

DLA doesn't count as income in the eyes of the law, it's an allowance to help you deal with your health problems and therefore its completely up to you whether you want to tell them about it. I personally do, but then also remind them that it is illegal for them to demand this money.

I'm not a great help, sorry. Just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat and understand what bi-polar can do to you and your life. PM anytime if you ever want to talk.

Hayley x

ferox666

My brother has bi-polar and I am aware of the problems it can cause - but is there no way you can even try to start working, even part-time to begin with? The longer you leave it, the harder it becomes to break free from the cycle. Obviously I don't mean a stressful job or one requiring lots of interaction with the public, but a basic job perhaps in an office doing admin, to help you pay these debts off.

A statement of affairs showing where your £580 per month is going would also be useful, if you don't have rent or too many fixed outgoings then there should be room for cutting down.

firestronaut

ferox666 wrote: »

My brother has bi-polar and I am aware of the problems it can cause - but is there no way you can even try to start working, even part-time to begin with? The longer you leave it, the harder it becomes to break free from the cycle. Obviously I don't mean a stressful job or one requiring lots of interaction with the public, but a basic job perhaps in an office doing admin, to help you pay these debts off.

A statement of affairs showing where your £580 per month is going would also be useful, if you don't have rent or too many fixed outgoings then there should be room for cutting down.

£280. DLA doesn't count as income.

mum2one

I think you have done the hardest yet the best thing by admitting that their is a debt problem.

I know your only 19, and it may feel like taking a step backwards, but for now could you get your mum to look after your money and pay bills, set up expenses and you have the rest.

The phone as its in mums name she's laible for the cost, so hense the money suggestion, even if its just to shes paid.

Re the rent, have a statement of affairs prepared showing the Income Support payments and a breakdown of what you pay out.

Theres a link on debt free board - make sense of cards (in the title), any bills that you owe, ie one with businesses - keep paying even if its only a £1.00 every payment helps.

May be worth phoning the phone company, they not want to help, but explain ur illness, and that the financial situation and obviously it would be better to get sorted now - basically if push comes to shove and it went to court, the court could just say pay £1.00 a month, and they loose out.

Good luck x

tayler_remi

ferox666 wrote: »

My brother has bi-polar and I am aware of the problems it can cause - but is there no way you can even try to start working, even part-time to begin with? The longer you leave it, the harder it becomes to break free from the cycle. Obviously I don't mean a stressful job or one requiring lots of interaction with the public, but a basic job perhaps in an office doing admin, to help you pay these debts off.

A statement of affairs showing where your £580 per month is going would also be useful, if you don't have rent or too many fixed outgoings then there should be room for cutting down.

I can't work at the moment, even part time. I have been signed off sick by my GP as I am trying to recover from an eating disorder as well as having type 1 diabetes so my health is so bad that I end up in hospital once every few weeks so holding down a job would be pretty impossible.

Don't get me wrong - I love working. It makes me feel useful, I get out of the house, meet new people and feel like I am earning my money, but my physical health and mindset means I can't keep a job longer than a month (I have tried so many times.) I hate it, but it's reality.

tayler_remi

firestronaut wrote: »

I suffer from bi-polar too, and also go off the rails with my spending from time to time.

I would phone income support and ask them about the payment - I used to chase up my backdated payments every two days.
I would also ask them about ESA - Employment and Support Allowance. I recieve this due to my bi-polar and being in reciept of DLA. I recieve just over £100 a week on this.

I would explain your illness to the people you owe money to and arrange a payment plan that suits you both. This approach usually works, especially if you explain there's no way you can pay it in a lump sum. Taking you to court over the debt will just result in costs for both them and you, and will result in a payment plan anyway. Since you live with your mum, you can claim you don't have any possessions and baliffs would be useless.

I'm not sure about Vodaphone, but I'm in the same boat with Orange. I'm going to ask them to downgrade my plan in the new year, explaning I'm in receipt of benefits and I'm struggling with other debts and being a single mum.

DLA doesn't count as income in the eyes of the law, it's an allowance to help you deal with your health problems and therefore its completely up to you whether you want to tell them about it. I personally do, but then also remind them that it is illegal for them to demand this money.

I'm not a great help, sorry. Just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat and understand what bi-polar can do to you and your life. PM anytime if you ever want to talk.

Hayley x

Can I get ESA as WELL as income support?

pink_numbers

I know this is no help right now, but I have a trick that helps me with my bipolar spending, and I hope that once you get yourself sorted, may be you can try something similar.

In order to stop the cycle of going high and spending loads of money you cannot afford, and later getting letters and people asking for money, start setting aside any money you can when you are not high. I can save really well when I am not manic, and I set aside a part of that specifically for when I am manic and need to spend.

It won't solve all your problems, and it won't stop you feeling bad afterwards, but it's damage control, so that you're not having to deal with serious debt problems every time you become manic. Having a cushion of money, no matter how small, has to be better than no cushion at all.

Hope this helps in the future.

tayler_remi

pink_numbers wrote: »

I know this is no help right now, but I have a trick that helps me with my bipolar spending, and I hope that once you get yourself sorted, may be you can try something similar.

In order to stop the cycle of going high and spending loads of money you cannot afford, and later getting letters and people asking for money, start setting aside any money you can when you are not high. I can save really well when I am not manic, and I set aside a part of that specifically for when I am manic and need to spend.

It won't solve all your problems, and it won't stop you feeling bad afterwards, but it's damage control, so that you're not having to deal with serious debt problems every time you become manic. Having a cushion of money, no matter how small, has to be better than no cushion at all.

Hope this helps in the future.

Thankyou. That's really helpful advice. When I'm manic the first thing I do is hit the shops and if I don't have money I'll sacrifice things like being able to feed myself, pay my rent and my family/mother's feelings just so I can spend. It's like it fills a void, but I hate the guilt, and the realisation of what I've done when I go back to 'normal' i.e. in the middle of low and high makes me feel physically sick...

firestronaut

tayler_remi wrote: »

Can I get ESA as WELL as income support?

Unfornately not, but ESA pays higher.

pink_numbers

tayler_remi wrote: »

Thankyou. That's really helpful advice. When I'm manic the first thing I do is hit the shops and if I don't have money I'll sacrifice things like being able to feed myself, pay my rent and my family/mother's feelings just so I can spend. It's like it fills a void, but I hate the guilt, and the realisation of what I've done when I go back to 'normal' i.e. in the middle of low and high makes me feel physically sick...

I can totally understand this, as I've gone through these feelings myself so many many many times! I've come to terms with the fact that I will have manic phases, and accepted that I will go spend spend spend when I hit the manic stage. Then I realised, even tho I am not in control of these two things and I can't get rid of them, I CAN be in control of damage limitations I put into place.

So now, I do things to a) save for such spending, 2) reduce the chance of spending opportunities and c) reduce the amount of money I spend on each sprees.

I find not carry any credit cards or bank cards really help in reducing spending opportunities. I just carry cash, and a joint account card which I would have to really really explain myself to my OH if I went on a random shopping spree using it (so I don't spend on it).

I also give myself a weekly allowance, as I found that giving myself a monthly budget just left me open to temptations and end up spending it all in the first week if manic. This way, I can spend SOME money, but not all in one go.

It will get easier as you learn to cope with bipolar, I promise. The most useful thing you can do is to keep an eye out for what causes you to go on a spree - a spending trigger - and try to cut them out. If it's online (for example, ebay was my big spending place), then you make a rule not to shop online, or set your self an allowance.