Telling my grandparents

Pee

I am sure that your grandad would like a card from yu, whatever you actually wrote.

It seems to be the truth that you have come out from the convent at the convent's suggestion and that you want to return. How can that mean that you are a let down to anyone? It isn't even like you went to Uni, failed your exams and are now doing resits - and if you had done that and your grandad was ashamed, it would say more about him than it did about you.

I have a friend who was chucked out of a convent because she had a bad back - it's not something I know much about, I know she is very religious and commited to helping people and is now a teacher and does a lot of fantastic voluntary work, some of which challenges her religion, which is very secure. I think the convent she was in required a lot of physical labour/ gardening.

Perhaps I should read some of your other posts, but I suggest you send the card and try to go and see him if you can, it may be easier to talk to him about the situation.

simpywimpy

I agree, just write what's in your heart to your grandad. If he is the man you describe he will be more than happy to hear from you.

If you still feel let down by the convent and their decision, could you not arrange to meet and discuss this with them further to get a clearer idea of the reasons behind it? Failing that, would your local priest not discuss the matters with you or with the convent on your behalf or maybe even find you a more suitable place to join?

best wishes with it

faithcecilia

simpywimpy wrote: »

I agree, just write what's in your heart to your grandad. If he is the man you describe he will be more than happy to hear from you.

If you still feel let down by the convent and their decision, could you not arrange to meet and discuss this with them further to get a clearer idea of the reasons behind it? Failing that, would your local priest not discuss the matters with you or with the convent on your behalf or maybe even find you a more suitable place to join?

best wishes with it

I have written the card now, just poured out my heart.

I am trying to arrange a visit, but it is difficult as basically I have to wait for them to tell me dates - when I have asked I have been told I am being too pushy so I am now just waiting to be told...

BitterAndTwisted

Dear Faithcecelia, please be assured that when people love you, they love you for what you are not what you are currently doing with your life. I'm sure you won't be judged as having "failed" somehow. All of life is a struggle for the vast majority of us one way or another and your chosen path is not an easy one for which everybody in the world is suited.

Lara44

Hi Faith I have read your other thread and think you're very brave. I think perhaps you are feeling a bit like you've failed, and that's why you're expecting your Grandfather to feel the same way. It's difficult to come to terms with having to leave so quickly and I know you must be desperately sad.

However, I think lots of people in this thread have suggested other ways to think about this journey. That, with faith, you can think about it as a journey *back* to the convent.

I wish you all the best over Christmas and I hope you re starting to feel more relaxed 'out here' x

tandraig

faithcecilia wrote: »

Tandraig - yes, do still feel that I was kicked out. It was so sudden, there was no discussion, no options, no alternatives. I was gone in 22hrs after being told. I feel utterly rejected.

Yet I do not doubt they believed it was the right thing, and trust them on that. Becase I respect their decision was mde in good fait does not change my feelings, or my belief hat it could have been done another way.

ok faithcecelia - it was sudden yes, but would you have felt better with three months notice? or one month? if you have faith it was the right thing - then trust them that they probably thought being at the convent KNOWING you would have to leave - would have been unbearable.

not sure I have this right but dont nuns take vows of obedience? to the church - therefore the convent and mother superior?
this goes totally against the grain for me and i hate saying it - because to me the idea of totally subjugating my will for that of a religion is repugnant - but I get the idea this is what the convents are based on............you HAVE to 'take orders' literally.
perhaps the convent suspected you wouldnt be totally receptive to this?
if, four months on, you havent come to terms with holy orders - then it really isnt for you? would missionary work be more suitable?

foreign_correspondent

He knows you are out - so it is not like you have any news to break - one thing is for sure, of he does not get a christmas card from you he will feel concerned or even hurt, so do not procrastinate too much.

Maybe just a note saying that you would love to catch up with him soon, and that maybe you can ask his advice about your future when you meet - he has been around long enough to know the score with life, and he loves you after all.

faithcecilia

tandraig wrote: »

ok faithcecelia - it was sudden yes, but would you have felt better with three months notice? or one month? if you have faith it was the right thing - then trust them that they probably thought being at the convent KNOWING you would have to leave - would have been unbearable.

not sure I have this right but dont nuns take vows of obedience? to the church - therefore the convent and mother superior?
this goes totally against the grain for me and i hate saying it - because to me the idea of totally subjugating my will for that of a religion is repugnant - but I get the idea this is what the convents are based on............you HAVE to 'take orders' literally.
perhaps the convent suspected you wouldnt be totally receptive to this?
if, four months on, you havent come to terms with holy orders - then it really isnt for you? would missionary work be more suitable?

As a novice I was under no vows. As I former novice I am DEFINATELY under no vows. I long to be, then they wouldnt have been able to send me away.

garthdp

God probably doesnt exist, enjoy your life.this is a turning point for you.embrace it

tandraig

faithcecilia wrote: »

As a novice I was under no vows. As I former novice I am DEFINATELY under no vows. I long to be, then they wouldnt have been able to send me away.

but as a novice hun, they would have wanted to see you BEHAVE as if you were under vows dont you think?

what makes you think that taking vows would mean they couldnt send you away? as a nun dont you go where the church sends you? and havent convents been closed? nuns sent out who have been in enclosed orders for years - would you be prepared for that? isnt the church sending out nuns to live in the community these days? and closing convents?