Maintenance arrears worries & future cost *advice needed*

jda070504

I know you didn't lol, but the post that was put after yours goes through me, for me it would be a million times easier to walk away, a free lifestyle, do what i want whenever but i'm trying to put complications in my life so i can give my son a more complete stable life. I agree legally what i've done not paying maintanence is wrong but morally whats shes doin is uncomparably worse in my my opinion. *facebook messages* Thats exactly what i've done. I've got a full page of a message and during the conversation i dropped in a few things she'd never admit to in person with regards to money/access. And because it was a heated discussion she responded to what i wrote resulting in me having questionable evidence for my defence proving again morally shes in the wrong but legally i might as well have printed toilet paper lol

13Kent

Go to your Hive or welfare people and ask for an appointment to see a CSA face to face officer asap. They visit some Hives monthly. They will be on your side believe it or not, and can advise you on your best course of action. They should be able to check if you have a case with the CSA. If so they can get details of your case quickly including calculations and amounts owing and can get things moving. Getting in touch with one was the best thing we ever did regarding the CSA their advice was brilliant.

Being in the forces the CSA unfortunately have the ability to take money directly out of your pay whether you like it or not, so you might find that if you have arrears and they catch up with you the CSA might try to take them in a lump and you would have no say in the matter, so you would be better off trying to find out where you stand and making some sort of arrangement.

If you don't already have a csa case and are looking to find out how much a fair amount of maintenance would be then check out the CSA calculator - on the newer system it's based on your pay - and also how many nights you have the child - unfortunately this gives the PWC another reason to limit contact!!

Good Luck!

shell_542

Also if she is still on Income Support or Income based Job Seekers, she will only be allowed to keep up to £20 a week in child support before having to notify the benefits agency and having her benefits adjusted. If she doesn't, she is committing benefit fraud.

DX2

13Kent wrote: »

Being in the forces the CSA unfortunately have the ability to take money directly out of your pay whether you like it or not, so you might find that if you have arrears and they catch up with you the CSA might try to take them in a lump and you would have no say in the matter, so you would be better off trying to find out where you stand and making some sort of arrangement.

The CSA can only ask for a deductions of earning request they cannot enforce anything with the armed forces, armed forces are actually above CSA law! :eek: It will be down to the paymaster as to what the CSA get, and the paymaster can delay things as much as he wants.

jda070504

DX2 wrote: »

The CSA can only ask for a deductions of earning request they cannot enforce anything with the armed forces, armed forces are actually above CSA law! :eek: It will be down to the paymaster as to what the CSA get, and the paymaster can delay things as much as he wants.

In which case what situation would that leave me in if i contacted the c.s.a direct and sorted maintenance through them which my sons mother wants?? The last thing i need is an arrears bill too big to be able to actually spend time with my son which is obviously the reason i want all this sorting. And she's always been on benefits so would there not be an arrears bill from the day we split up because of this?? and how is the armed forces different in this situation??

DX2

jda070504 wrote: »

In which case what situation would that leave me in if i contacted the c.s.a direct and sorted maintenance through them which my sons mother wants?? The last thing i need is an arrears bill too big to be able to actually spend time with my son which is obviously the reason i want all this sorting. And she's always been on benefits so would there not be an arrears bill from the day we split up because of this?? and how is the armed forces different in this situation??

Your pwc will have to contact the CSA if she is persuing child support, I would hazard a guess that she has not been in touch with them before now as anything she was getting from you privately would affect her benefits leaving herself wide open to benefit fraud if she didn't declare this.
The CSA cannot backdate a case for five years unless she was in contact with them five years ago.

Mupette

jda070504 wrote: »

Theres 2 parts to this

1st part-

I've a son who is now 5 years & 7 months old and i dont have access, no legal reason just an awquard ex. We split when he was 3 months old and in all honesty i havent paid regular maintenance since. After the split i had a couple of months access to my son until my ex moved in with someone else and the access was stopped, she had 2 more children with him and then moved away and never said where she was going. I was working on and off from that point until 3 years ago when i joined the armed forces. After 6 months of being in the armed forces she contacted me out of the blue to see if i wanted to see my son, i couldn't believe my luck, i gave her monthly maintenance whilst having access (not declared on her benefits and no recerd kept) bu then Work commitments meant i couldnt see my son for a few months and she refused me access once again. I stopped maintanence because of her unreasonable approach to my situation, she then disappeared again. It wasnt until the beginning of this year i managed to contact her to arrange access but she demanded every penny of back pay before i see him which was completely unreasonable. I would agree to paying maintenance and some back pay on top per month whilst having contact but that wasnt enough for her. She disappeared again. I've now managed to track her down as shes moved back to our home town. I'd give anything to and do anything for my son, everytime i've seen him i've spoilt him rotten. I'm seeing a solicitor on friday to fight for access through the courts and i want to get the maintanence sorted but i dont know how deep a !!!!!! i'm going to be in for not paying previously on what i believe to be correct principles. The c.s.a have never been in touch with me, no official/recorded maintanence has been paid since we split and i've had no regular period of access since then either. How does the back pay work in my situation?? Am i screwed and if so how much??

Regardless of the relationship with your ex partner, you have both used your child/children as weapons against each other.

The money is for your children/child i'd be inclinde to say open a savings account and get into a routine of putting money aside for the kids.

So she's been unreasonable with the access and so you stop the money, who is the one who will suffer the most.

romanempire

AnxiousMum wrote: »

access and child support are two totally different things and not related in any way at all.

Caz3121 wrote: »

Access and maintenance are completely unrelated,

It cracks me up when people say this, not. The CSA offer a financial incentive for a PWC to reduce contact. If you don't believe me have a play with the CSA calculator. For a given weekly income (over £100) compare the difference the number of nights makes.

You can just imagine the discussion with their 'wimmin' friends. "Cut down his access and the CSA will give you more money." Never mind the damage it does to the child's relationship with the NRP. "That doesn't matter as mother is the only parent that counts."

And before people start jumping up and shouting:-
Yes, I acknowledge that not all PWC's are like this.
and
Not all PWC's are female (but the majority are).
and
Not all women/PWC's are wimmin/contact blockers.

tamarto

You'd give anything and do anything for your son, except pay what you owe? lovely.

jda070504

Mupette wrote: »

Regardless of the relationship with your ex partner, you have both used your child/children as weapons against each other.

The money is for your children/child i'd be inclinde to say open a savings account and get into a routine of putting money aside for the kids.

So she's been unreasonable with the access and so you stop the money, who is the one who will suffer the most.

I've openly said to her that i would buy anything and everything that my son needed but there are certain things that no mother should do, especially in the house with kids that i know money would be more spent on, if i knew every penny i gave her went towards the upbringing of my son i wouldn't have an issue. She has no respect for things i've bought him which has been proven in the past, i have given her money and she has spent it on the children that aren't mine?? Realistically the only way my son will benefit from my finances is once i have access, thats the only way i know he has what he needs. For her to say in 1 breath i'm a sperm doner and in the next say she wants every penny of back pay before i see my son she doesn't exactly have my sons real interests at heart! She cant see the bigger picture, she cant see what a difference my son having a dad would make to his future, she can only see the financial gain for her thats why i'm having to do all this the only way that is left. Thus being on here asking for advice on C.S.A back pay for serving members of the armed forces, how it works and what factors would into whether i would owe back pay.