nieces, nephews, in-laws - where do I stop?

misskool

I'm from a large family and tbh, I wouldn't be offended if I didn't get a present from someone I'm not that close to. I would buy some presents for the family or for the children a bottle of wine or boxes of cheap chocolates or natural sugar jelly sweets.

hardpressed

Depending on what you want to spend you could get a 'virtual' gift from one of the many charities that do them, either something for the whole of your rellies or a smaller gift for each family group.

Loadsabob

I know you're talking about the protocol - I guess that's going to vary wildly from family to family. But it's clear that you want to do *something*, to show people you care about them and are thinking about them.

How about in future years, some Oxfam Unwrapped Livestock? You're donating to charity, you get a gift card to show for it, so can pass that around, and it's something you've done on behalf of the family... or it could be some of their other gifts (I'm only saying Oxfam off the top of my head, there are lots of these types of gifts now, I know) - if you have lots of teachers in the family, or a heritage of farming, or particularly keen gardeners, or something close to your heart as a family (though so may of you, I know), then you can possibly find a 'gift' that is quite apt for you as a group. Or with kids in the family, something to do with educations or child vaccinations?? They have all kinds.

I suppose what I'm thinking is that then you've done something positive, and it shows everyone that you were thinking of them and have done something in their name, but without you being run ragged and worrying about the politics. I can't see many of them thinking "That was rubbish, I could have done with some bath bombs instead". I don't know how many you have bought for, but enough multiples of that £3 would mean a reasonably substantial Oxfam item...

Well done on getting through the stress of it! Dont worry about ex-es - If they just turn up, you can't be expected to second-guess it :-) I'm lucky - small family, and I've been cutting back on gift-giving year on year, and have already agreed four fewer pressies exchanged next year. Trying to get Christmas back to basics and less about exchanging 'things' for the sake of it - I already have too many things.

bundly

I like Loadsabob's thinking.

My family has so much --- too much --- compared with so many people in the world. Why buy them even more, probably stuff they don't want, let alone need, when I could make a real difference to someone in genuine need?

I'd also (tongue in cheek) quite like to !!!!! their consciences just a tiny bit by mentioning that there are people worse off than themselves.

Yes I think a donation to a school.

bundly

culpepper wrote: »

Why not take a bowl of fruit for the hostess to put out for everyone while you are there?

This really is a fab idea in general.

It has only one flaw for my family: the hostess always buys a ridiculous amount of food and will definitely already have a massive bowl of fruit on display that nobody will eat and so much of which will be thrown in the bin mid-January.

This is why I cannot take any food to share. They already have far too much.

Combining your idea with the one above, I think next year I will make a donation of £x to my local Crisis at Christmas, then give each member of my family a "certificate" saying that a donation of £x has been made in their name...