nieces, nephews, in-laws - where do I stop?

claireac

bundly - that sounds like a nice idea.

My dh has 3 brothers, 1 step brother and a step sister. All with partners and all except 2 with kids. It was getting ridiculously expensive! So it was agreed that we just buy for the kids and get token presents for each couple - we normally do chocolates & wine. Have also saved a fortune on the kids with all the sales around :j.

bundly

I do envy you Claire. Firstly, your DH's family is so much smaller ...

I have five siblings, who have between them ten children, and of those ten children (my nieces and nephews) all have spouses or partners and also all have children (my great-nieces and great-nephews). Some of the great-nieces and great-nephews are now teenagers and have partners (though none are yet married). I think there are about 40 people altogether, and I've probably only met about half of them, and then mostly only once. Their ages are all over the place! I have a nephew of 46 (I was an auntie at age 5) and a great-niece aged two.

... and secondly you have lines of communication open so you can discuss what to do collectively

claireac

bundly wrote: »

I do envy you Claire. Firstly, your DH's family is so much smaller ...

I have five siblings, who have between them ten children, and of those ten children (my nieces and nephews) all have spouses or partners and also all have children (my great-nieces and great-nephews). Some of the great-nieces and great-nephews are now teenagers and have partners (though none are yet married). I think there are about 40 people altogether, and I've probably only met about half of them, and then mostly only once. Their ages are all over the place! I have a nephew of 46 (I was an auntie at age 5) and a great-niece aged two.

... and secondly you have lines of communication open so you can discuss what to do collectively

Can see that being us in 10-20 years as the kids grow older :eek::eek:.
My own children are 20, 18 and 3, and a sd 11. My dd became an auntie last year 3 days before her 3rd birthday.

All good fun, but can be very expensive......and the as for the wrapping :eek::rotfl::rotfl:

Marcheline

We also have a massive family (between my OH and I we have 24 first cousins and our 2 sets of parents have over 100 first cousins!) and if we bought for everyone we're related to and see regularly our yearly salary would easily be swallowed up at Christmas alone!

In terms of what we do (remember, we see all the following people often): for 'close' family i.e. brothers/sisters/their husbands, wives and children/our parents/grandparents/great grandparents we get them a nice individual present.

For all other members of the family i.e. aunts/uncles/great aunts/great uncles we ONLY buy for them if they have no children of their own, although this may not be the norm in other families. Cousins do not get presents from us.

In your situation, having not seen the various members of the family often in your life, I would buy for those you would normally buy for at any other Christmas. It is unreasonable for you to buy the whole clan presents in my opinion.

Marcheline

bundly wrote: »

And if I get something for all my nieces and nephews, and their children, isn't it going to be really embarrassing that I don't have anything for the nieces and nephews' partners?

Just to add: not in the slightest! I do not expect presents off my boyfriend's great aunt! Even if we were married, it would be madness to think that his great aunt would get me a present. Remember, they are also from the same big family as you and will be thinking the same thing regarding who to buy for. Don't feel bad, whatever you decide to do!

bundly

Thanks for your input Marcheline. I think I have got myself all worked up because I am mortified at the thought of insulting or slighting anyone or embarrassing myself. I have this ridiculous image in my head of everyone being lined up while I dole out the presents, and am cringing at the imagined scenario where I give presents to some, and others are there and waiting for theirs, and I have nothing for them. It's all in my head, I know.

So this time what I have done is buy something really small and cheap but really nice for each person, spouses and boyfriends alike, but next year maybe I will take nothing, or just something for the kids. I dunno really.

The other thing I've been worried about is exes. My niece has left her man, the father of her three children, but he might turn up at Xmas and I haven't got him anything. Also my nephew has broken up with his wife, the mother of the four-year-old, and again she might turn up..... I am getting in such a tizzy, it's easier for me to just not go!

culpepper

Why not take a bowl of fruit for the hostess to put out for everyone while you are there? Everyone gets a share if they want to and it is something you might have done anyway (bring something edible) if you had been the only person invited.

Skye_Dancer

I buy for my parents, brothers, sisters and my neice and nephew. I can't afford to buy everyone as I have such a large family. I also drop the gifts off before Christmas day so by the time the guests arrive at whoever is hosting it the gifts are over and done with.

lors71

oh OP i feel for you,your really getting stressed about this!!!!!!!!!!!!tbh i would really re consider getting pound shop gifts for everyone and their exes/nieces/girlfriends......your wasting your money(you did say there were alot of people to buy for?) and going to be all worried as to wether you have enough....STOP!!!the fruit idea is pretty good.......i know you said no to my hamper idea,but can i say that if i was hosting dinner to that amount of people i would not be offended if you brought along biscuits/xmas cake/nibbles....in fact i would be in the kitchen thanking god you arrived!!!!!lol
personally i would nt dream of giving to exes/partners/kids of family that i never see......it puts people in an uncomfortable position,and its really not expected at family gatherings....UNLESS your a really close knit family.......please stop worrying and start looking forward to catching up with folk you havent seen for ages and enjoying your christmas!!!!!xxxxxx

sunflower76

This year I've bought for:

Mum
Step Dad
Dad
Step Mum
Brother
Three Friends + their Children (x2)
3 x Uncles and Aunts (HM gifts)
FIL & Step MIL
SIL

I have loads of cousins and aunts and uncles but I only buy for those who I see / have contact with on a regualr basis.