Leaving work to become a carer?

Limana68

OP
Good luck with whatever you decide-Im in a similar position to you with a disabled hubby, mother and 2 x kids to care for, and have cut my hrs to 30 a wk, but am looking at cutting back even further.
Some people just dont understand the stress etc it creates when you are a carer and luckily quite a few employers are very understanding.Yes I know its a business thing but they DO have to abide by the law at the end of the day.
LI

jdturk

Limana68 wrote: »

OP
Good luck with whatever you decide-Im in a similar position to you with a disabled hubby, mother and 2 x kids to care for, and have cut my hrs to 30 a wk, but am looking at cutting back even further.
Some people just dont understand the stress etc it creates when you are a carer and luckily quite a few employers are very understanding.Yes I know its a business thing but they DO have to abide by the law at the end of the day.
LI

Absolutely, no where have I advocated that businessess do things illegally but as long as they do things correctly they have to have the interests of the business at the front of anything else.

I also read the articles in a link above and interestingly they reckon 90% of employers who had had a request asked had allowed it. This is more prevelant at the moment as its effectively natural wastage in terms of costs.

I would always always advocate a compromise but in the end if the employee is unable to do the job and the request for flexible hours has been refused then a company can let someone go in the correct way

Blackpool_Saver

On the surface it looks as if you will be better off than your income taking into account that you will get most of your rent paid and your council tax paid.
Is your wife taking advantage of the mobility scheme? PM me for more if you like

Blackpool_Saver

Homemade wrote: »

You wont nesessarily get Income Support because it depends if your wife already claims it, which she may well do. If she does, she will then lose part of her Income Support when you claim CA.
If she doesnt claim IS then you can claim CA at £53 a week thereabouts. Not so much and not worth giving your job up for.....even if you do get a bit of Income Support.

It doesn't work like that at all.

Wife wont be getting it because of husbands earnings.

Disability and carer premiums will make IS award high, this and hb/ct means an income as high as OP's take home pay.

Aputsiaq

Luker wrote: »

Right any help would be greatful as I am in a dilema...

I live with my wife and my son who is 9 years old, we currently rent a property and have no mortgage.

I am in full time employment £1244mth after tax. My wife is disabled and receives the higher rate mobility and care component.

Over the last 2 years in my employment I have been off with stress and anxiety twice for a period of 6mths on each occasion. This has been triggered as I am trying to care for my wife, look after my son as well as working 43 hours a week. I work in a targeted environment which is extrememly excessive at the best of times. When my wife or my son becomes ill I have to try to take time off work which isnt always easy and usually leaves me with a warning.

To cut a long story short, I have been off sick myself recently and pressure has come through from work in the form of a letter which is quite threatening. I am feeling very stressed again and basically I have had enough of being intimidated back to work with no understanding of our situation.

I guess I am asking if I obtain a medical certificate to state that this is destroying my health and then concentrate of looking after my wife full time would I be financially ok? We rent at the moment and do not have a mortgage. I am worried that giving up my job will make matters worse financially but on the other hand I am worried about my wife and my health.

Would I be able to talk to work and make myself redundant by handing in my notice. I have gone down the union route yet again but frankly I have had enough and need to care full time for my wife.

Any ideas on what our entitlements could be or any tips on leaving work to help a disabled person?

Sorry to sound a bit vague but I really have no idea where to start and the more I am moaning about life the more I am getting totally stressed about it all. I have worked all my life an never considered this route but situations have got alot worse.

Many thanks in advance.

get some counselling and try pull yourself together and figure out a way to deal with all this stress you have.
your wife and son need you to be strong, not a wreck of stress, and your demenour will have a great affect on your wife's health.
giving up your job and struggling for cash is only going to make you stress more and will give your wife more too. not to mention the emotional feelings of 'my man doesnt support me'.

jdturk

Aputsiaq wrote: »

not to mention the emotional feelings of 'my man doesnt support me'.

Couples are meant to be equal, this means that they look after each other not just one looking after another. I am pretty confident that if the wife knows the effect everything is having on the OP then she would back him to look after himself as well and lessen the stress on him as well...whether this by carrying on working, or by leaving his work.

All in all your advice was good untill the last bit

cyberbob

Aputsiaq wrote: »

get some counselling and try pull yourself together and figure out a way to deal with all this stress you have.
your wife and son need you to be strong, not a wreck of stress, and your demenour will have a great affect on your wife's health.
giving up your job and struggling for cash is only going to make you stress more and will give your wife more too. not to mention the emotional feelings of 'my man doesnt support me'.

What about the stress of working and trying to care for someone. Been there done that and its far more stressful trying to do that than reducing your income

I still can believe that people still tell others to Pull themselves Together and counselling isn't the answer to everything.

The OP is being sensible and researching possible options. Telling them to pull themselves together and suggesting that they live in a 1950's stereotypical relationship is just plain silly