Is anyone else feeling a bit short changed in the emotional dept?

kittiej

Hello all

I can't help feeling as though my OH is emoionally devoid and it's peeing me off and upsetting me tbh.

I don't even think he likes me very much and I just feel like ditching him now.

I could say really bad things but I don't think I should.

What do I do?

Ruby_Moon

Ditch him then if thats how you feel.

Claire2831

Mine isn’t great at the whole “feelings” thing, sometimes if I try to tell mine how I feel in my heart he looks at me in this kind of blank panicked way. I know he really cares, he just isn’t very good at articulating feelings or empathy if you know what I mean…..

Some times it doesn’t bother me, other times it bothers me a lot. I’m looking out for a good book that will explain it all to me!

ManOnTheMoon

kittiej wrote: »

Hello all

I can't help feeling as though my OH is emoionally devoid and it's peeing me off and upsetting me tbh.

I don't even think he likes me very much and I just feel like ditching him now.

I could say really bad things but I don't think I should.

What do I do?

Any reason why? Any major events in his life that have left him unemotional outwardly?

You don't think he likes you? Do you like him?

kittiej

ManOnTheMoon

He was in the Falklands?

I don't know - well there is more that | don't want to say tbh.

Claire I feel that way too

ManOnTheMoon

Falklands could be an issue. Some don't come back from war the way they were before they went.

If you are unhappy, you have decisions to make. If you feel more lonely with him, than apart...

kittiej

MOTM

He lost his bessy mates etc he was on Sir Galahad afterall

He does cry now and again but he's just so "old fashioned" and it pees me off cos I neeed 'something', he retorts that he tells m that he loves me everyday but it just doesn't cut it iyswim.

busiscoming2

It must be so hard for both of you. Has he had counselling?
It sounds like he is in a dark place with his emotions and has to realise the effect this is having on you and your relationship.
I wish you luck.

luxor4t

It is hard for both of you but you are not the first couple to feel like this & (sadly) won't be the last.
Maybe some of these links can help you:
http://www.channel4.com/explore/battlescarred/help-and-support/index.shtml

consultant31

It might be a good idea for you to sit and try to imagine just what he went through. Losing his best friend in circumstances like those might take a lifetime to 'get over'. Would you have got over it by now do you think?

Was he like this when you first got married? Do you have children?

Lots of men aren't outwardly emotional, my husband among them, but he's a good man and a good Dad.

Could you 'ditch' him when he so obviously needs your support?

Sassers

Hello I just wanted to send you (((((hugs))))))
I would advise contacting SSAFA known as Saffa - they are absolutely brilliant and would be able to help both you and OH.
One of my close family was emotionally `withdrawn'....we knew he did three tours of northern Ireland but we didn't realise he needed help. We just thought he was distant and quiet - that macho manly silent type of thing. And that was how he wanted to be percieved...
If it wasn't for Saafa and the help they gave him and our family he'd be dead now, due to a couple of things that happened. For that, our family have always supported the organisation and will be always grateful...
Hope my sharing might help you a little bit.
Love Sassers x
www.ssafa.org.uk/