Don't know where to start

juliapenguin

Remember too that the whole 'everyone's having a wonderful time getting ready for Christmas' is just an illusion - there are many, many people (like us OSers) who are not spending much, plus those who are dreading another Christmas Day totally alone, and you will be with a friend - I watched ITV last night and was thinking about how the adverts are perpetuating a complete myth about the 'perfect' Christmas.

Keep your chin up and the New Year may well be a lot better than 2009 for you!

blackcrow

Hiya,

just wanted to say best wishes and i hope things turn out better for you.

a thought (please feel free to completely ignore me if inappropriate!) about feeling low... try to be kind to yourself, dya know what? it is PERFECTLY ok to feel sorry for yourself when life treats you unfairly - its how you deal with it and not wallowing in self pity that matters.

I can tell you how i cope when life is unfair (of course, i'm not saying it would work for anyone else, just that it might help you think about your problems in a different way)... when i feel bad i limit myself to an evening (when son has gone to bed) of feeling sorry for myself and right down a list of everything i feel is unfair, put it to one side and go to bed. i seem to sleep better for writing it down. the next evening i pick up the piece of paper and start writing down what is most important to me to fix first (prioritise) and think of ideas for each item to try to alter them.

next i start writing a list of things that i enjoy - little luxurys in life, if you will: a decent cup of tea and a nice choccy bic, a warm bath with bubbles, reading a favourite (or new) book for an hour, a phone chat with a friend or family member, watching a favourite film curled up under a snuggle blanket on the sofa, a walk on the beach, etc... whatever floats your boat. when you feel low during the day, pick an item from your list and 'treat' yourself to it, it always helps me cope and keep going that little bit longer.

hugs,

bc (p.s. i can also really recommend the electric blanket idea from above!)

jexygirl

Hey
I think you are awesome! Truly! I think that you not only had the guts to start your own buisness, in what is possibly THE worst time to do so, but that its going ok as well. Alot of established buisnesses are going to the wall, so to have the courage to start up on your own in the current climate, is fantastic.
As for the rent, I think you will find your landlord will be a lot more understanding than you think. He knows its coming, and in a way, any back rents etc, will be like a mini savings scheme for him, and councils are notorious for left and right hands being a little disjointed! (apologies to anyone who works for one!)
I also think that its great that you have posted, I am sure that there are loads of people out there, who not only feel the same, but will have found that the support you are getting has helped them too.
I think we all have bad days, where we just feel that the end isn't in sight, or that someone turned off the light at the end of the tunnel, if it was ever on at all, and its good to just unload. I doubt anyone read your post and thought you were being self pitying, in fact totally the opposite.
You are free this month to know you are on top of things atm, and thats all you can hope for, and who knows what next month will bring. Please try not to worry about where the next months money will come from, and instead concentrate on some of the great ideas here, perhaps start planning the veg garden to give you a focus outside work, look up what to grow when and where, and even get out and start digging! I agree that the outside air, growing your own stuff, and the pleasure it will bring will no doubt lift your spirits. I am trying to get a group together for that landshare thing that HFW is doing, so that I can grow my own stuff too. Would be great to think "i'll just pop out and get some leeks!"
Are there any free clubs / activities you can get involved in? Maybe even volunteering so that it gives you a bigger social network? Or do something that you never would like join a local amdram group or something? IT gets you out, its free heat and its fun! Also, I dont know if you have any stuff you could clear out - and have a bar boot sale? Tho I am sure you already thought about stuff like that, but ebay and carbooting, not only clears teh clutter, but brings in some cash and is a good focus or boost - you would be amazedwhat people will buy!
Oki I waffled enough, as usual! All I meant to write was big hugs, keep your chin up and let us know how you get on.
take care
Jex

helenamy123

hi,

Just wanted to wish you well and let you know you are not alone - far from it on here!

if wanna pm me to chat on msn to fill a few hours you are very welcome!

best wishes and warming hugs,

helen x

:santa2:

Austin_Allegro

I'll second the homegrown vegetables. It doesn't involve a lot of work apart from a bit of digging and weeding, and if you plant overwintering vegetables like Kale etc, you will have fresh veg effectively free of charge all year round. If you don't have a garden you can still grow a lot indoors (beansprouts etc) or go foraging. Richard Mabey's book 'Free Food' will pay for itself several times over if you buy it.

bigjon1968

Thanks again for all your kind words and support, as well as your tips. I finally succumbed and put the storage heater in the living room on last night as I was so cold and fed up. I'll just have to worry about paying for it later. Spoke to the council yesterday morning and there is good news and bad news... the housing benefit hasn't been stopped, but they are still refusing to backdate it. I've argued my case on that again and am waiting for them to get back to me. I'm trying to be a bit more positive today, but having just looked in the larder, it looks like it's baked beans for dinner again today!

nopot2pin

bigjon1968 wrote: »

Thanks again for all your kind words and support, as well as your tips. I finally succumbed and put the storage heater in the living room on last night as I was so cold and fed up. I'll just have to worry about paying for it later. Spoke to the council yesterday morning and there is good news and bad news... the housing benefit hasn't been stopped, but they are still refusing to backdate it. I've argued my case on that again and am waiting for them to get back to me. I'm trying to be a bit more positive today, but having just looked in the larder, it looks like it's baked beans for dinner again today!

At least you are still getting your housing benefit... and if they are still looking into it, its not over yet

Do you have any curry powder in ??
Curried beans on a baked spud is yum

downshifter

Hi again, I gather you live in a rural area, if so you might find this forum helpful - if not it's a good read anyway. http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=820153&highlight=rural

All the best

DS

Olliebeak

Hello bigjohn - if you're still struggling to try and get your Council Tax/Housing Benefit sorted or backdated, it may help to contact a local Welfare Rights/Benefits Centre and ask for their help with an appeal.

Was wondering if you've seen this thread before - could be some useful meal ideas on it for you: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1157641

Keep smiling - Ollie

stef240377

Once receiving benefits contact your fuel supplier to see if you can get a reduction your gas and electric. I know we get a 20% rebate every 3 months because OH is disabled but you can also get it with certain benefits. There was a thread about this in the gas and elec forum.