Desperatley need help

kelly79

I desperatley need help i have had the worst few years of my life and things have just got a whole lot worse

I have sufferd from server arthritis pagets disease and brittle bones since the age of 3 when i was diagnosed over time this has gotten worse and more painfull over the years my joints swell up and are so sore i just cant go on much longer not only physicly but mentaly i just cant face living this way.

i have had a partner for the last 2 years who was perfect at the start it was like i had a new chance at life when i 1st met him around 6months into the relationship he changed, he would go out everynight and drink sometimes not come back to the next morning and would get very abusive verbaly and sometimes physicaly

one time he came home drunk i asked him where he had been and he went mad pushed over my wheel chair i fel to the floor and was in so much pain words can not describe he always tells me he is sorry i love him i want him back but things have got a lot worse.

i have found out he has being seeing somebody else behind my back for at least 6 months i confronted him and he lost it big time trashed the whole house and told me he is leaving me for good
he has told me his new partner is moving in and i need to go he has moved in with her untill i am gone

what is the point of life i cant take this no more im at rock bottom i can not feel anyworse than i do i feel physicaly sick i cant eat a thing i feel so ill.

eveything i have i loose i have lost my family and now my partner i have no real friends only a couple of people i spk to over the phone i very rarely leave the house my life is a compelte mess. my carer has offerd me a room to stay in untill i can get my self somewhere to live i feel to ill to do anything tho

i have lived here for 2 years now the house has been adapted to suit my needs which i rely on every single day its going i dont know how i am going to cope or what to do next one of the biggest helps for me is having a house adapted for me where i can feel safe i feel like just going to sleep and not waking up why dose this have to happen to me

i desperatly need some advice regarding disabled people priority and counsil homes that can be adapted please can anybody help me

jazabelle

Is the house in your name? Is it a council house? He can't just demand you move out.

Each council has a different system for moving, so it's difficult to say. It would help if you let us know if you're privately renting, a home owner, or in a council house first.

kelly79

its my ex partners house he is the home owner he has a mortgage

jazabelle

Oh no.

This is how it would work for my council, but again you would need to see how it works for you.

If you go to the council and declare yourself as fleeing domestic violence (never say you've left intentionally - which I know is not the case, as you're being kicked out, but make sure you tell them you're having to leave because of his abuse.)

The council will then have to put you in temporary accommodation. The big problem most councils have is that adapted temporary accommodation doesn't really exist, or does so in very small numbers. It is likely you will have to live in an non-adapted property at this point. Or the council could put you in private accommodation, but again there is a huge lack of adapted private properties as well.

Do you think your wheelchair will get through a normal sized door?

Another option would be a women's refuge - at least they can offer time for you to adjust, but again, it's unlikely they will have adapted space.

I'm so sorry about your situation, it's an awful one to be in.

kelly79

im really really not confident enough to say i have been suffering dosmestic violence

what would the tempory accomodation be like? if it has no adaptions i would prefer to stay with my physiotherapist also my part time career the idea of a refuge is terrifing i have no social skills what so ever and have huge anxity issues im a complete mess i feel so vunerable without my own home.

i honestly dont think i can take much more i would rarther just end it

GlasweJen

Contact womens aid and discuss your concerns. The refuges are not horrific, my sister was in one for a while and it was like a shared house so she had her own room but shared the kitchen and lounge area. She found it really helped because everyone was in the same boat so very understanding of her situation, she also had a worker who she could discuss any concerns and they did loads to build up her confidence which helped her more than anything i think. They helped her find a new house that was suitable for her and she still keeps in touch with some of the women who were there with her so she's got a social life again.

jazabelle

kelly79 wrote: »

im really really not confident enough to say i have been suffering dosmestic violence

what would the tempory accomodation be like? if it has no adaptions i would prefer to stay with my physiotherapist also my part time career the idea of a refuge is terrifing i have no social skills what so ever and have huge anxity issues im a complete mess i feel so vunerable without my own home.

i honestly dont think i can take much more i would rarther just end it

The problem is that if you move in with a friend, they will not see you as homeless. You won't get any kind of priority for housing.

If you don't want to say you are suffering from domestic violence, you can say you've been made homeless. But it is likely they will ask why and the situation surrounding it. I know it's very difficult to get the confidence to do this.

Have you tried getting some help? Refuge could help emotionally and practically. You can call them on 0808 2000 247. Their website is http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/

The Samaritans are another port of call - their number is: 08457 90 90 90.

kelly79

i have care needs and mobility needs around the clock some of which are very embarrasing i cant climb stairs alone or without a stair lift to get in and out of my chair by my self is horrificly painfull there are so manny things i need help with i couldnt posibly bare it on my om my ex partner used to be my career most of the time along with my physio.my physio has offerd to let me stay with her her home is not ideal but i would most ceartainly rarther be there and it would be better for my physicle health having a carre around she has a 24 year old daughter who has now offerd to help care for me when she is at work. im very very gratefull to theese people but i obviosly canot stay here for long i need my own home with adaptaions to live any kind of bareable life i would be happy to acept an un adapted home so long as i new that it could be adapted in the future at least i would have some sort of hope. at the moment i just feel like this is never going to get better they will never offer me anywhere to live i just dont know what to do anymore

kelly79

jazabelle wrote: »

The problem is that if you move in with a friend, they will not see you as homeless. You won't get any kind of priority for housing.

If you don't want to say you are suffering from domestic violence, you can say you've been made homeless. But it is likely they will ask why and the situation surrounding it. I know it's very difficult to get the confidence to do this.

Have you tried getting some help? Refuge could help emotionally and practically. You can call them on 0808 2000 247. Their website is

The Samaritans are another port of call - their number is: 08457 90 90 90.

i am not claiming homeless ness now its the fact i have 24hour care needs and a disablity that i need home thats not going to worsen my already ill health

jazabelle

I thought he had asked you to move on? That is being made homeless - not that you live on the street, or anything.

I would think the best thing to do it phone the council and explain all this to me - hopefully you'll get someone helpful that will know what the next steps are.

GlasweJen

i forgot to mention in my last post that my sister is disabled; she only has one hand, severe mental health problems and has problems walking due to a condition she was born with. Going into a refuge will be more helpful in the long term as the council are under no obligation to rehouse someone who already has a roof over their head, you wont get many housing points if you need an adapted house but live in an unadapted one. Also isn't it unprofessional of your physio to offer you somewhere to stay? You don't want her getting into a sticky situation over this.