Feeling broody...

ChilliPepper_2

You see it's odd but when I first got with OH, I so didn't want children, so we never discussed it at first.

I came out of a long term relationship where he would say to me he wanted me to be the mother of his children and I had a pregnancy scare with him, and both admitted to being a little disappointed with the negative. However, that relationship was never meant to last and I didn't love him like I love my OH.
I couldn't see myself having my ex's babies, even though he mentioned it.
I can see myself having my OH's, but I am scared to bring it up incase he panics and thinks I'm trying to trap him or some weird man-related worry :rotfl:

We do watch supernanny together and agree on most things regarding discipline and bringing a child up. He's probably unsure about what I think about everything as I must admit to being brilliant at sending out mixed signals and saying things I don't mean sometimes :rolleyes:

Silverbird

Ah, I know just where you're coming from.

Found out yesterday that 2 work colleagues are pregnant and for the first time ever I felt incredibly jealous (rather than just wishing I were in that position). I'm not a jealous person, so this surprised me!

I'm 29 in 3 months but unfortunately still got to hang on and wait before we start trying, as hubby is still in too much debt for us to be able to afford a drop in wages. OH has actually been going on about having children this year more and more and says he feels so ready now, but we just can't try at the moment due to money situation. Soooo frustrating!

You definitely need to speak to your OH to see where you both stand on this or you won't get the thoughts out of your head, I assure you!

Take care and best wishes x

**confuzzled**

ChilliPepper wrote: »

He's probably unsure about what I think about everything as I must admit to being brilliant at sending out mixed signals and saying things I don't mean sometimes :rolleyes:

Even more reason to lay your cards on the table(so to speak) and have an honest, open conversation about it:D

ChilliPepper_2

Just not sure when the time is right... Maybe next time Supernanny is on???!! NOT! Though I think he realises that not all kids are such horrors as featured on that programme! :rotfl:

We're not 'well-off' but we got through me being at Uni etc on his wage, so think we could manage. We're certainly not in a bad situation really.

Not too sure how or when to bring it up. I just think as we are at the moment he will think I am mad for bringing it up, although things are sorting themselves out.
Don't want to get into too much detail, but we're waiting to sell something that once sold will free up a fair amount of money and time.

Any ideas on any slightly more subtle ways of finding out his feelings? What about me asking something along the lines of "where do you see us in x amount of years?". If he doesn't mention kids or marriage, should I be worried, or maybe he won't mention it incase he thinks it will scare me? I've always come across as a bit of a commitment-phobe

Marcheline

Hiya, don't worry about stretch marks, not everyone gets them: you might be lucky. My mum hasn't and nor have I and we both had big babies (if that makes a difference?!) It took me a while to get back to my pre-baby weight (2 years) but I wasn't really trying. Births: well it's gonna be painful, but if you have a normal delivery, you soon forget the pain.

You need to talk to your OH though. I'm surprised that you didn't tell him about you scare earlier in the year, I would have thought you'd have mentioned that to him?

mumslave

Yeah i have barely any stretchmarks, never had sleepless nights past 8 weeks old (even when they have been ill) and whilst my first labour was painful it was fine, my other two were epidurals and a walk in the park. Its not all horror stories, but i suppose its better to be well prepared, just in case.

Seriously there is no subtle way to put having children. Just ask him. Supernanny is as good a time as ever, even if she does do my head in, love her techniques, but she is so unsmiling lol!

**confuzzled**

Next time you see young children whether it's family or an advert, just say what do you reckon about us having one??!

After we got married we didn't speak about it until that advert with the kid in the high chair laughed(can't remember the advert but its a proper dirty laugh) made us both giggle and we kinda just said, well...shall we go for it?!?!? Although it had been mentioned before DH had been Umming and ahhing about it for a while coz of money situations etc...the advert that made him decide that he was ready:D Although 9 months later we still haven't been visited by a little miracle:rolleyes::) Lucky I'm patient(ish!) really:p

ChilliPepper_2

Marcheline wrote: »

You need to talk to your OH though. I'm surprised that you didn't tell him about you scare earlier in the year, I would have thought you'd have mentioned that to him?

Don't really know why I didn't... I guess I wanted to find out on my own and then if I was pregnant I'd tell him, but if not then not worry him. It was really not a good time as I was still at Uni then.
Do you think it's worth mentioning?

I hope I don't get stretch marks! But I guess if I do there's not much I can do about it. Think that's another reason I'd like a baby before 30, as I still have a high metabolism and would like to use it to shift baby weight :rotfl:

ChilliPepper_2

**confuzzled** wrote: »

Next time you see young children whether it's family or an advert, just say what do you reckon about us having one??!

After we got married we didn't speak about it until that advert with the kid in the high chair laughed(can't remember the advert but its a proper dirty laugh) made us both giggle and we kinda just said, well...shall we go for it?!?!? Although it had been mentioned before DH had been Umming and ahhing about it for a while coz of money situations etc...the advert that made him decide that he was ready:D Although 9 months later we still haven't been visited by a little miracle:rolleyes::) Lucky I'm patient(ish!) really:p

It's funny you say that because we both laugh at that kid's dirty laugh! We've also agreed he looks older than a baby if that makes sense, sort of old before his time Poor kid :rotfl:

mumslave

ChilliPepper wrote: »

Don't really know why I didn't... I guess I wanted to find out on my own and then if I was pregnant I'd tell him, but if not then not worry him. It was really not a good time as I was still at Uni then.
Do you think it's worth mentioning?

I hope I don't get stretch marks! But I guess if I do there's not much I can do about it. Think that's another reason I'd like a baby before 30, as I still have a high metabolism and would like to use it to shift baby weight :rotfl:

yeah there is something to be said for having babies when your body is more youthful, I will have four come feb and i still think my figure is fair.....though my boobs went from a lovely neat 34b to with this pregnancy a whopping 34E, ah well. You learn to see such things as the trademarks of a mother...you wouldnt have your kids, if you didnt have them, if you get my drift.

there is always surgery :rotfl: