Feeling broody...

ChilliPepper_2

...Been feeling broody for a while, but just lately everyone I know seems to be having babies so it's making me worse

Never thought I wanted kids until spending time with OH's family, it changed my mind. I've read some horror stories on births, things about stretch marks, sleepless nights etc, but I still want one

Maybe it's because I feel so happy with OH, and feel he'd bring some good qualities to my child. Weaknesses in me are his strengths. He is also very good with his family's children.

We haven't really discussed it in depth, certainly not recently. I'm not sure the time is right now, but then is the time ever really right? OH earns a good wage in a stable job, I graduated this year and am working now.

I have just turned 26, and am conscious of my body-clock ticking... I have older parents and would like to have a child when younger because of this.

I had a pregnancy scare earlier in the year, but didn't tell OH. Had a lot of symptoms and my period was late, but turned out it was my change of pill messing with my body. I must admit I was part relived (under a lot of stress then) but also disappointed.

I am unsure whether OH wants children yet, I'm sure he'd say "not just yet". Maybe he's right.

We've been together coming up to 3 years, been through a lot already, so our relationship is pretty strong. However I'd still be prepared to be a single mother if in the unlikely event it didn't work out. Got back up from family, so wouldn't struggle I'm sure.

I'm probably just being silly, but I've even been looking at baby stuff online now :o

**confuzzled**

Welcome to my world:D:D:D I know exactly how you feel, I even cry or at least get emotional when i see babies on tv:eek: Although I'm already ttc:)(btw not as easy as people tell you when you're 16:rolleyes:)

You should definitely have a chat with your OH and see where he's at and if he's thinking along similar lines......fingers crossed he is;) and take it from there. And if/when you decide to start come join us on the TTC thread:D

Like you say, there's rarely a 'right time' to have children, IMO the best indicator is your emotions, if you're emotionally ready then the rest is up to you.

Katie-Kat-Kins

You need to talk to your OH.

If he doesn't want kids at all best to know now. If he does but not yet you will feel happier and more settled with some sort of timescale on things. If he's dead keen you can get planning.

Are you married?? It is worth having a proper talk and think and doing things the "right way round" if you are actually planning a baby rather than having one by mistake!

Whatever you do don't get pregnant without his agreement and don't go into this thinking that you can be a single parent if it doesn't work out. Hard as it is wait for the right man to come along that will be a permanent father to your child. Much as many single parents do a super job, two loving and involved parents is the best thing for a child.

kegg_2

You need to talk to him before you start making any plans.

It takes two to make a baby and he should have his say as well.
Hopefully for you he will be in the same mind frame as you but if not then you will have a big decision to make.

Liney_2

I am with you on the broody front - good luck - and start the dialogue with your OH, hope things work out for you.

Naf20

Definiately speak to your OH about this. When I first met my OH 4 years ago he was a "don't want kids, don't want marriage" bloke. I have always wanted children. As things got serious between us it really started to bother me and whether we should stay together. We spoke about this a lot and both decided that we didn't want to split over it. Now we are getting married next year and baby planning :j
I think if I had got pregnant without telling him, things would have been a lot different now and I don't think we would have lasted......

kindofagilr

I think you need to talk to OH, I hope things work out for you.

I met my OH in Feb 07, we were engaged in Sept 07, and we bought our house in April 09.

We decided to start ttc in June 09 and got my BFP 4 weeks later (so fast, couldnt believe it lol) babybean is due in March 2010

We decided to ttc and have our children before marriage as we wanted children before we got old (lol) (I am 28 and OH is 27) and we wanted the wedding of our dreams (so didnt want to wait for babies till after wedding)

If OH is on board go for it and there is a TTC thread they are lovely on there

ChilliPepper_2

Thanks

We spoke about it aaaages ago, but we hadn't been living together that long and things were different then. The last reference was when someone asked if we were thinking about it and OH put his arm around me and said "not just yet". I wasn't looking at him but could tell he had a smile on his face when he said it. This was around last Xmas I think?

Bit worried about mentioning it incase it scares him, I don't want to be putting any pressure on him.

I do think he'd be a brilliant father, I doubt we'd split up, but I am the kind of person who has to consider things for all eventualities (though not as sensible as that makes me sound!). I like to plan things and research things.

Any tips on how to approach it? Just as a testing the water kind of way to start with...?

Oh, and someone asked if we're married. No we're not

kindofagilr

Hmm it is a toughie on how to approach it, cos I dont know why but when me and OH we mentioned kids on like the second date lol you know just like how many each of us wanted (we still disagree about that now lol, he wants 2 I want 3)

Just tell him straight I think, that you love him, and want to be with him forever, you think he would be a brilliant father and you are feeling now is the time to start ttc, explain to him your feelings about aging and let him know that jsut cos they tell you in school you can get pregnant first tiem round it doesnt always happen like that lol

mumslave

heres a tip, say right OH, been feeling broody lately, whats your thoughts on having a child?

So its direct, btu when it comes to having a child, so it should be, no testing the water! There is so much to think about when making the commitment of having a child, its best to discuss everything as fully as possible and get a real handle on what your OH feels about it.

That said...I met OH at 19, he proposed 3 weeks later, I fell pregnant 4 weeks after that and we married 5 months after that. It was a whirlwind...but I dont recommend it lol, your first just changes your entire life, there is no going back! Best of luck with you decision.

**confuzzled**

ChilliPepper wrote: »

Any tips on how to approach it? Just as a testing the water kind of way to start with...?

mumslave wrote: »

heres a tip, say right OH, been feeling broody lately, whats your thoughts on having a child?

So its direct, btu when it comes to having a child, so it should be, no testing the water!

Totally agree with Mumslave, it was one of the 1st things I asked my DH when we first met, I couldn't be bothered wasting time dating a guy if we didn't have the same goals..I just thank my lucky stars he's on my wavelength and didn't run a mile...there's no way I could've caught him up in the heels I wear:p:rotfl: