Divorce advice

hobo28

You have a PM

hawkwind

Thanks for the quick reply

Yes i`ve been to the doctor twice now each time i took one of my step daughters.

The doctor spent a lot of time explaining things we could do to help but said that unfortunately there was little that she could do until my wife actually wanted some help in giving up booze.

I know that the subject of drinking has been brought up when she has visited the doctors but she always tells the doctor that she has only a bottle of wine a week.

In one way now with hindsight i wish we had called the police last week, but it may have just aggravated the situation more.
As you say with what happened with your friend, it is always someone else`s fault, things that you or me would not bat an eyelid at, are always a major problem for her.

Bossyboots

Its a shame her doctor is letting her down. My friend's GP ordered a blood test under the guise of a routine check as she has high BP. He included a liver function test which gave him the evidence needed to challenge the level of drinking she said she did, against what the results told him she must have actually been drinking.

hawkwind

Bossyboots wrote:

Its a shame her doctor is letting her down. My friend's GP ordered a blood test under the guise of a routine check as she has high BP. He included a liver function test which gave him the evidence needed to challenge the level of drinking she said she did, against what the results told him she must have actually been drinking.

She has actually just had a routine blood test done (including one for the liver)because of the pills she takes to help the pain on her back.

She smugly told me that the tests all came back as normal which i am amazed about, well either that or she is lying.

The doctor has told me that although she can advise her, she cannot make her get help for the drinking

notakid

Hawkwind there is nothing you can do to make her stop drinking for help for yourself try Al non you will meet people how will be able to listen and support you whatever you decide to do. Speak to your child and ask them what they would like and if they say I love mommy but shes scary you know what you have to do.
The liver even on a heavy drinker can work great even while its being damaged (I think until 40% of it is still working) until its too damaged and can't repair itself then its too late. Big hugs you will be surprised how many people are in the same positon.

hawkwind

I have spoken to my sister and she has said that if it comes to it then me and my son can move in with her and she will do what she can to take him to school etc so as i can carry on working.

My son has stayed at his sisters new flat this weekend and i have asked him on the way home what he would like to do if i moved out, i did say that i would not be offended if he wanted to stay with his mum.

He told me that he would want to go with me.
I asked him why and he said that it is because he is fed up with coming home from school to finding his mother either drunk or drinking.

Thanks for the kind words and advice from everyone

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Good luck to you and your son, things might get tough but both of you will have a stable environment at your sisters, with no nasty surprises for either of you.

Bossyboots

hawkwind wrote:

I have spoken to my sister and she has said that if it comes to it then me and my son can move in with her and she will do what she can to take him to school etc so as i can carry on working.

My son has stayed at his sisters new flat this weekend and i have asked him on the way home what he would like to do if i moved out, i did say that i would not be offended if he wanted to stay with his mum.

He told me that he would want to go with me.
I asked him why and he said that it is because he is fed up with coming home from school to finding his mother either drunk or drinking.

Thanks for the kind words and advice from everyone

Well done for broaching it with your son. Please listen to what he has told you. At least now you know that if you can't stay you would not be uprooting your son against his wishes. It also means you do not feel you need to stay to protect him.

To be honest, in view of his answer, I think you really have to make that decision and go sooner rather than later. You have already tried everything I can think of and everything my friends have been through apart from having her sectioned and you have had no luck.

I really wish you well and hope that you get this sorted quickly with the minimum of problems.

Voyager2002

All I can say is, get good legal advice and be sure to document everything that happens. Above all, get as much evidence as possible about how your wife treats your son.

In divorce the courts generally grant residence of the children to the mother, but NOT if there is a good reason why the child should stay with the father. So assuming you are able and willing to take care of your son, and genuinely believe that this would be in his best interests, then that is what you should try to achieve. You will need to be able to convince a court (that is, a judge) that you can give your son better care than his mother could. From what you say about her condition, that should not be difficult.

As regards the house, generally the courts will order that the parent with the child should continue to live in what was the matrimonial home, while other arrangements are made for the other spouse. So it could be a very bad move on your part to leave the house with her remaining there, particularly with your son.

lynzpower

Hi there

Im sorry to hear of your situation.

I agree wholeheatedly with Bossyboots and others about your son coming ot live with you. I have significant concerns that your son will not be parented well enough if he remains in her care.

Have you spoken to your local social services department? They can offer support ( and possibly finance in extreme circumstances) and there may well be a local single dads group that you can access for support and cheap activities to help you get by.

I feel for you completely, and sending lots of love
Lynz