despair.....

captainhaggis

You seem to have had a lot of advice on here so I'm not going to give you any more - that'll confuse you.

What I will give you is respect, admiration and applause for getting RIGHT BACK OUT and getting a job almost immediately after losing your old one. Too many people would have relied on hand outs for a while before doing that.

You have my respect.

spangles39

Thank you both essex and captain. I dont want to avoid my debt...i accept i owe the money....i just need space to breathe. Fortunately my 15 year old son totally understands our situation...which makes me feel even worse. Captain,..like i said my dad raised me to believe that it doesnt matter what you do as long as you contribute and do something.....I am trying hard to stand by that. Your words are all so supportive. Thank you all

taxi73

Have you applied for tax credits etc? as whether working or not you should have a cretain amount of money coming in.
Plenty of advice above so not much to add until you do a SOA.

spangles39

Gosh this is going to seem a silly question,...but how do i do a soa on here??

looktothefuture

Hi spangles...
I remember the day I finally untied the 7 (yes 7!) plastic bags of unopened bills! I was shaking, sweating and feeling ill all at the same time - BUT I did it. Each envelope was opened, the bill put into it's own pile, then put into date order and before I knew it, it was over. My husband and father sat as quiet as 2 little mice on the sofa behind me (no doubt glancing at each other with worried looks!) and with each added pile gave me a little smile! Both had found out at the same time just how deep my debt really was... when the bailliff turned up while I was at work and both sat me down and pretty much forced me to face up to what I'd been avoiding!

But once those bills were opened, and in the here and now and now longer in plastic bags shoved as far under my bed that I could get them, I could then deal with them!

The advice you've been given so far is great... take each bill as a baby step, each call to either a creditor or payplan as a little victory and with each payment realise that you are one more GIANT step away from where you were!

spangles39

Thank you,
I have found the soa on site. I am building up the courage to open the letters...so i can put the exact amounts. I really do appreciate the advice and support you all give, it kind of makes me feel like i am not the only one.

Many many thanks

bluecowonthebus

HI Spangles
I'm a working single mum and like you have always worked, done something, waitressing etc to earn money. You are definitely not on your own.

I have £33k of credit card debt and am on a Debt Management Plan with CCCS who are very good - no judgement even though I have missed payments sometimes. I would recommend them to talk through things.

Also, www.entitledto.co.uk which tells you how much benefit you qualify for and also tax credits. Try adjusting your income and it will tell you the different rates.

All the best

berkshirelady

hey spangles, welcome. and good on you for keeping going, getting another job and not sitting at home!

Opening those letters will be v scary, but once you've done it and talked to someone like CCCS, you'll be getting some support and will feel much better. CCCS helped me greatly. You work out your financial statement with them, pay what has been agreed you can afford to them each month and they distribute it to your creditors. And if it's only 5p you can afford, so be it. The best thing is, they act as a 'buffer' between you and the creditors so if you are getting horrid phone calls at 10pm, you can tell them it's all being dealt with via CCCS/Payplan/whoever, put the phone down and go off to bed for (hopefully) a better night's sleep.

Don't drive yourself mad thinking about the entire amount you owe at 3am while staring at the ceiling. You're certainly not alone and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. There are lots of supportive people on here (unless you count the divisive arguments going on on over at the Bank Charges decision forum - best ignored!)

If you are happy to post an SOA I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful ideas from people as to how you might be able to cut your outgoings too.

good luck :-) let us know how you get on.

DarkConvict

spangles39 wrote: »

Gosh this is going to seem a silly question,...but how do i do a soa on here??

Fill this in - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

as Above, Don't worry about the amount too much it is doable. Some people have managed to pay off upto £15,000 in a year of their debt for 6+ years (debts over £100,000), i don't know how they did it but there are some wonderful success stories here.

honeybear_2

Hi Spangles

Just checking in to see how you're doing