Friend Sick With Worry, Pregnant And 18 Yr Old Daughter-Help!!

Turning_into_scrooge

missk_ensington wrote:

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I claim CSA, why not? Its about responsibility not decisions. How can you blame a woman for not wanting to terminate something inside her, how can a man every ahve any idea what that may feel like? I was fully intending having an abortion, my parents thought I would go to Oxbridge and had high hopes and then I got pregnant. Went to abortion clinic in Manchester and I could not do it.

People disagree- one wants baby, one doesn't. What do you do? You literally cannot mutually agree, so justice falls on the side of aborting the baby? She should have the choice because SHE carries it for 9 months, she has an excrutiating birth and has the hard work emotionally, physically and financially for 18 years (and more). SHE therefore, is taking responsibility for her actions, should he not have to George? Thats a sexist chauvenistic view if ever I heard one!!

There was a court case quite a few years back now where the husband tried to get an injunction to stop his wife terminating their baby. I'm not 100% sure of the outcome maybe someone else reading this may remeber but from what i can remember he lost the fight and the courts ruled she could do with the baby what she wanted. Tha poor man was heartbroken to have to fight like this to save his child. I just want to point out here that its not only women who are against termination there are allot of guys out there who are as well.

On another note well done you for for fighting and acheiving so much as a single mum at such a young age.:T

musey

I can't help feeling sorry for the men sometimes; yes it takes 2 to tango as it were but if a woman falls pregnant the man has no say on whether the pregnacy goes ahead or not but does have to foot the bill for it for the next 16-18 years. I am equally opposed to the 'baby machine' as described in the other post.

Earlier in my life I worked for a Water company in debt recovery, I remember talking to 1 couple who never (and I mean never paid a water bill, can't comment on their other utilities) and openly admitted to purposely having a child every 2 years in order to avoid disconnection. They were both on invalidity benefit, she got carers allowance for looking after him, he got carers allowance for looking after her, council tax benefit and housing benefit and a mobility car.

I went on a home visit to discuss the issue with them and remember vividly the wall to floor shelving full of videos, the 2 packs of 200 cigarette on the kitchen table, the sky dish outside, caravan on the drive and remember thinking, who's the mug? There was I working 2 jobs as was my husband to keep our heads above water and they were living the life of reilly never having worked a day in their lives.

chugalug

For goodness sake!! Why has this discussion turned into another thread about the benefit system and deserving and undeserving claimants?

The OP's friend has worked and paid into the system for years despite being a single parent. She is now entitled to some help when she needs it, as we all are. None of us know whats round the corner and the majority of people have had help from the system when they needed it. Thats what its there for.

Personally, I think it will be very hard for her starting again after 18 years but she's facing up to her responsibilities. Whatever anyone else thinks, we need more children in this country and its an extremely hard job bring them up, especially single handed. She is entitled to help.

larmy16

I know she is probably not up to taking on MORE work, however if she did work 30 hours she would still be able to claim WTC in her own right, irrespective of the daughter.

I bought up my son entirely alone, financially and emotionally, and have received in his entire life around £200 via the CSA system. It may take two to tango, but in my case I ended up dancing alone with my part in creating this wonderful person!

Incidentally the CSA would inform me every six months, how I was entitled to £0.00 - talk about raking up old wounds. Just as you were accepting the situation, one of their darned letters would arrive. All I was told was he could not afford to pay.

They said he lived on benefits, but I thought the CSA was set up to even take about £5.00 a week from benefit claimants. I gave up fighting in the end.

Good luck to your friend PP - It will not be an easy road for her and there will be plenty of not so Georgous Georges along the way to provide the judgement!

musey

chugalug wrote:

For goodness sake!! Why has this discussion turned into another thread about the benefit system and deserving and undeserving claimants?

The OP's friend has worked and paid into the system for years despite being a single parent. She is now entitled to some help when she needs it, as we all are. None of us know whats round the corner and the majority of people have had help from the system when they needed it. Thats what its there for.

Personally, I think it will be very hard for her starting again after 18 years but she's facing up to her responsibilities. Whatever anyone else thinks, we need more children in this country and its an extremely hard job bring them up, especially single handed. She is entitled to help.

I presume it has turned into one of those discussion because enough people feel sufficiently strongly to raise the issues. It is an emotive subject for those on both side.

ruthyjo

Perhaps your friend could up her hours to full time. If she gets paid £6 an hour (as your 25 hours = £150 statement suggests) working an extra 13 hours would generate an extra £78 a week. If she's well and only has one daughter aged eighteen there isn't really any reason for her not to be able to work full time (apologies if there is something else that you haven't mentioned).

Hopefully, if she suffers from pregnancy related or any other illness, as she works for a local authority, she should get reasonably generous sick pay.

Hope all works out for her.

Spendless

Agree with the others. She may be better off working 30 hours and still getting tax credits in her own right if her daughter is now too old. But having suffered pregnancy related illness myself I can underrstand this not being an option. check it our but you used to be able to add 2 jobs together, so her 25 hours job, plus something she could do at her own pace as long as it amounted to at least (or averaged) 5 hours a week could also put her into the 30 hours work she needs. eg paper round,avon round.

My understanding of surestart grant is that you have to be below a certain income rather than be in receipt of something.

Have you looked on www.entitledto.co.uk
I'd also suggest going to somewhere like Citizens Advice.

jazzyjustlaw

Good luck to your friend.

I cannot believe anyone has children on purpose for monetary gain. I had a child at 17, studied from 23 and obtained income support in the summer holidays twice, luckily I got a grant. father paid nothing. I would never have another child unless I could afford it. I am now still studying 11 years later (takes a long time when you have children) and I am soon to qualify and I will have some money for once in my life.

I really admire your friend my dd is nearly 17 and I am 34 I could not do it. It is her decision and I hope she gets everything sorted.

clairec79

Re the maternity grant, you do have to be in receipt of certain benefits or tax credits BUT you can claim it up to 3 months after the baby's born - so while she may not be able to claim it in advance after the baby is born she'll be back on tax credits and be able to claim (and maternity pay isn't counted as income for tax credits so she'd get the full amount)

clairec79

Just to add, when her daughter leaves education they will count her income for housing benefit (plus she'll be an adult so won't get the 25% discount on her council tax she's probably been getting up till now - unless there is a 3rd adult living in the house) but if she was in full time education, then they won't include part time earnings - I know it sounds strange but tis the way it is.

The only way I can see them trying to claim money back off her, is if the daughter has already left school, so wasn't officially her dependent and the mother wasn't entitled to the money - if she was then there shouldn't be a problem