Friend Sick With Worry, Pregnant And 18 Yr Old Daughter-Help!!

Gorgeous_George

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

She will be filing for CSA once baby is born...

Gorgeous George-I think your comment is hastily wrote and very judgemental....

Not hastily but perhaps judgemental based on the information provided.

She may have worked hard as a single parent etc., but many MARRIED COUPLES work hard to raise their children whilst paying for more and more $$$$$$$$ to be brought up at tax payers expense.

I know my views may not be shared by others reading this thread and I standby for the flak.

I accept that I do not know the full facts about your friend and her pregnancy, I was merely stating that from the limited detail presented, it sounded (to me at least) like she was looking for a meal ticket.

I'm not convinced that cases, it could be argued that the responsibility of pregnancy should not be shared 50/50 but I don't know if that is the case here. I'm more convinced that the responsibility should not be shared by the tax payer.

It's a crazy world we live in when a 16 year old girl can either go to college/University and be burdened with a student loan or get pregnant by the first mug that comes along and be given a house and Child Support for the next 18/19 years.

Best wishes to your friend's baby.

GG

missk_ensington

Gorgeous George- Whereby many girls/women get pregnant as a 'meal ticket', you cannot tar everyone with the same brush. Doing this would be like saying all Muslims are Terrorists.

At the end of the day it all comes from the same pot be it pensions, tax credits, DSS...., and the OP's friend will be working and not claiming benefits. She should be applauded not criticised, she has been used by a man, and been left literally holding the baby. She isn't trying top get a house she already has one, she isn't after Income Support she has a job. What meal ticket is she going to get??

If the father has to pay maintanence for a kid HE has fathered, then hard luck. It takes two, she is taking responsibillty for bringing up that child for 18 years, is he supposed to carry on like nothing has changed?

I don't understand your final comment, whats your point? You don't get a student loan at 16 you would be 18 and what is your point anyway? Are you trying to say loans are good or bad and what the hell has that got to do with someone choosing to strat a family??!!?

Gorgeous_George

I do apologise. I read it as if she was claiming Housing Benefit and looking for whatever else she could claim. I've read it again and still have that impression.

Seems the decision to keep the unborn child or not lies only with the woman. Why is this responsibility not shared by both (equally irresponsible) parties?

The final comment is aimed at the stupidity of today's society that seems to reward kids having children rather than furthering their education and being an asset to society.

I accept that this is an argument that I cannot win on this forum (not that I care). I'll just be happy to keep funding the big pot for others to live on.

GG

missk_ensington

So what category do I fall into Georgeous George? I was pregnant at 17, had my son at 18, had to claim income support whilst I did my A levels in ONE YEAR (Yes one, not two, and attained AAC)

I'm now at uni reading English Literature and work 16 hours a week, I claim tax credits and nothing else. I have just boght my first house, and pay my mortgage (no housing benefit). I have taken £4,000 a year in Student Loans (I'm still only 20) and I commute 70 miles each way to university.

I claim CSA, why not? Its about responsibility not decisions. How can you blame a woman for not wanting to terminate something inside her, how can a man every ahve any idea what that may feel like? I was fully intending having an abortion, my parents thought I would go to Oxbridge and had high hopes and then I got pregnant. Went to abortion clinic in Manchester and I could not do it.

People disagree- one wants baby, one doesn't. What do you do? You literally cannot mutually agree, so justice falls on the side of aborting the baby? She should have the choice because SHE carries it for 9 months, she has an excrutiating birth and has the hard work emotionally, physically and financially for 18 years (and more). SHE therefore, is taking responsibility for her actions, should he not have to George? Thats a sexist chauvenistic view if ever I heard one!!

Scarlett1

Gorgeous_George wrote:

The final comment is aimed at the stupidity of today's society that seems to reward kids having children rather than furthering their education and being an asset to society.

PP's friend is 36

good luck to your friend PP, I hope she sorts her money out and looks forward to her baby coming in due course :T

Penny-Pincher!!

The decision does lie with my friend and not the father whether to keep the unborn child or not The father is a total waste of space and NOT facing up to his responsibilities after fathering the child-you cant just blame the woman/girl

My friend is recieving a little top up of tax credits ATM but pays all her rent herself. Only when her DD leaves college etc will she receive any HB as her credits will stop and in turn her income will reduce.

I am trying to see of there is anything else she may be entitled too.

PP
xx

sparkle197828

this is why people int his country dont work why work when your going to be worse off its stupid we slog our gutts and and get nothing when we need it and those who dont gett all the help in the world it makes me soo cross its a career for some people now not to work this is why soo many young people just dont work and just go straight into making families the whole country is a shambles mr f*ing blair grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes me cross! your friend could go to citizen advice and they could help to make sure she is getting everything that she can from the system i am sure my friend did this a while ago? i hope all works out for her though!

sparkle197828

if they are not together she could sort out some arrangment for maintance too

Mirtos

Seems the decision to keep the unborn child or not lies only with the woman. Why is this responsibility not shared by both (equally irresponsible) parties?

GG

Good Lord! Because it is HER body that the baby would have to be ripped out of if the man wants a termination, and HER that will have to face the trauma & emotional and physical implications.Everyone knows sex = babies. However careful you are, accidents happen. If you can't take responsibility for raising a child and providing for it financially, then you shouldn't be having sex - whatever gender you are! Condoms are contraception. Not abortions.I'm not criticising people who have abortions in any way, but I think it grossly selfish for a man to try to dictate whether a woman has an abortion or not. Either way, her LIFE is changed - for him, it legally only needs to be his bank balance, which isn't the end of the world!I also know this isn't all that simple, but what you are implying GG horrifies me.

Turning_into_scrooge

Gorgeous_George wrote:

I do apologise. I read it as if she was claiming Housing Benefit and looking for whatever else she could claim. I've read it again and still have that impression.

Seems the decision to keep the unborn child or not lies only with the woman. Why is this responsibility not shared by both (equally irresponsible) parties?

The final comment is aimed at the stupidity of today's society that seems to reward kids having children rather than furthering their education and being an asset to society.

I accept that this is an argument that I cannot win on this forum (not that I care). I'll just be happy to keep funding the big pot for others to live on.

GG

I know someone who used to live in my street who i think fits your classification. She is under 30 has 8 children all from different fathers, has a rather nice large council house provided for her, child benefit, income support, council tax ben, etc. Best of all she never looks after them as she dumps them all on her parents and goes off out looking for other guys. she says she just loves babies, she started at 16, has never had a long term relationship, and is driving around in a brand new Mondeo that she bought. I'll be honest that hacks me off too but this poor woman sounds like she's had quite a shock finding herself pregnant at this age(?) husbands walked out and is being a right sh!te though it all, she's obviously worried as to how shes going to keep the roof over her head for the next 3 months or so and for all we know she may be having problems with the 18 year old as well. She has my support, not the other one.