When do you stop buying loads of presents for the kids?

Mutter_2

Let's meet after, and see how we did.

NBirdy

When we were teenagers, my parents told us we had a budget of £50 each, and could choose how it was allocated. My brother usually chose to have the whole amount on a main present, I preferred a main present of £25ish and the rest on 'surprises' in a stocking.

Now we have children of our own, the family agreement is that token only/no presents after age 18.

Savvy_Sue

I think my 3 wish I would stop doing stockings for them (22, 19, 17) but somehow I can't bring myself to stop. :rotfl:

I find it virtually impossible to get them big presents these days however, as their suggestions are either non-existent, way outside my budget, or against my convictions. No, I won't buy air rifles OR parts of air rifles ...

They all have to have a book, and new underwear, in a wrapped parcel. Grandma insists in buying them something to wear as well.

splodgenessabound

Hi, I think it may be time for a little xmas present chat to your dds. Perhaps this year could be the last year of "bags of presents" and let them know that next year they will each get two presents and the following year one main one. I think they will understand considering the ages of them. just an idea..

msb5262

You could always tell them that the cut-off point is 21 - that way, this is the last year for DD1, and DD2 will have 2 more years. At least 21 is traditionally the official age of being an adult.
Must admit that I would have stopped both at 18 but you've missed that window of opportunity!

margaretclare

Doing something that will really count - keeping someone warm, giving things to those who really need them, that's what it should be all about. Freezing in a shared house - my eldest GD says that the goose-down duvet I bought her last January is the best present she's ever had, and it wasn't even Christmas. She was freezing in her council flat in that cold snap we had.

I would answer the question 'when do you stop...' with 'when you see sense, when you realise that this whole 2 months' spend-spend-spend is not about Christmas at all and the whole thing is just completely pointless'. Especially when it comes to spending more than you can afford for those who have more income than you have.

claireac

One thing I'm def cutting down on this year is size!!!

My dd (aged 3) gets lots of presents as my dh has 3 brothers, 1 step brother and 1 step brother, add in my sister, my two older ds's and 1 sd plus grandparents = a hell of a lot of presents! I've already had a sort out and have some bits to ebay and thrown some stuff away. We're only buying her small presents and my parents have cut right back on what she normally gets, she'll get some new shoes when she needs them which is generally early Jan.

fiscalfreckles

I think that you should cut down gradually as they get older, definately by around 18. I would tell them both that this is the year that they start to get "grown up" presents; I would get one main gift and a few smaller gifts - I bet they don't get you a big bagful, do they?!

RoxieW

Its funny - on one hand children grow up quicker then ever before - wanting mobiles at 12 and designer clothes etc. Yet when it suits them they still want to be children. Nowadays it is not unusual for 'children' to expect to be living at home (and off mum and dad) well into their 20's and I dont think babying grown adults is good for the kids or the parents. They're acting childish because you are letting them. If you dont want to buy them lots of gifts just tell them - they are both adults now and you'll be scaling down christmas this year. If they don;t like it remind them of their age.
I'm 27 and have been left home for 11 years now. Yet some of my friends are still at home using dad as a taxi and mum as a cook/cleaner and the house as a hotel. I think there should come a point - definitely by the age of 21 - that children are no longer children and they are adults in there own right and encouraged to behave and live as such. i know Christmas is a special time of year where you can spoil loved ones if you wish to but the fact that you want to change your gift situation and they are throwing tantrums smacks of spoilt brattishness to me. Since when do the recipients dictate what and how much they receive for xmas anyway?

aliasojo

This is a huge problem for me every year. My youngest is 10 (and only found out about Santa last week so that's pretty much the last children's milestone passed now....feel a bit funny about that tbh :undecided)....anyway, her presents are always able to be got fairly cheaply, big boxed things that make her pile look big but in reality didn't cost that much. There's usually loads of freebies floating about that are suitable too so she's not really a problem.

Her brothers are 26 and 20 but the eldest has disabilities and so is much younger mentally than his years. He's been treated according to his mental age rather than his chronological age and has a pile of presents similar to his sister. That leaves the middle one who is a typical 20 year old who wouldn't thank you for a board game or a cheapo 'filler' type present so I feel stuck between wanting to cut the eldest ones down because of their age and feeling bad because one's a big kid and the other would be left out.

Families! I should have opted for goldfish! :rolleyes::D